Moses and the Ten Commandments

Remember the Bible story of Moses receiving the Ten Commandments on Mt. Sinai on his adventure from Egypt?  For you movie buffs that need a visual reference, 1956 DeMillie/Heston, The Ten Commandments, complete with parting of the Red Sea.  Moses went up the mountain, came down forty days later with stone tablets of the Ten Commandments.  (The forty days was edited down in the movie adaption.) But, you can see Heston with his graying hair, with the tablets, going over the rules.  There was not a lot of wiggle room, it was heavy on the "Thou Shalt Not", strong on the "Obey" and "Honor"---period, TEN, done!  

Fast forward a couple thousand years and we have cancer patients going to Mt. Anderson for forty (at least) days.  Not to be out done by Moses and God, they issue their stone tablet in the form of a pink notebook (for breast cancer---I am sure that every cancer has a different colored notebook).   A lot has happened since the time of Moses---we are after all a free people able to make our own decisions, but the stone tablet pink notebook has plenty of suggestions, considerations, best practices, and rules.  It is a 1-1/2 inch three ring binder, with pre labled tabs, clear sheet for all the business cards you will be receiving, and pockets for sticking the stuff you get at every visit. (Note to MD Anderson print department, larger notebook, give sheets out that are prepunched...it might find a home in the notebook.)  It is a full time job to keep up with the reading, filing and cross referencing.  Before tackling your homework notebook, be sure to pick up a pack of colored highlight markers.  Red/Orange to highlight the do not, yellow for the should not, green for the can do items, and blue for the recommended items.  It will help you sort out your new Ten Commandments.  From a lawyer's point of view (that would be Eddie), when you sign on the treatment at  MD Anderson for Cancer Treatment (or any other of the country's top Cancer Centers), you become one of their numbers.  They want you to be successful in the treatment of your particular cancer, so you to can cross the cancer out with the red marking pen in their commercial.  But, they also don't want you to lose in the fight with bad habits or risky behaviors, so they are going to have rules.  You can't be Number #1 without rules. After all, you are part of the science experiment, they would like to have the control stick on the variables.

Some of the rules include (but not limited to) not taking hot showers, only tepid, with these recommended soaps and lotions.    No hot tubs, soaking baths, or public bath houses. Minimize processing your hair with heat, dyes, chemicals, products, but you are going to go bald anyway, so why should they worry about the 14 days before you start to loose your hair.   Change your deodorant and toothpaste so that they do not contain these ingredients.  Do not (red marker) use herbals or unapproved substances to help your body get over the toxic shock of chemicals.  Minimize activity with outdoor animals, zoo animals and livestock---is mad cow a potential side effect to chemo? Eat a largely plant based, organic diet, with whole grains, free range, organic chicken, sustainable fish from wild or farmed US waters, nuts and twigs (green marker). You should minimize sugar and sugary snacks (yellow marker), as sugar feeds cancer---what about dark (or any) chocolate, I thought that was on the good list.  Then, there is the wiggle room part--turn the page in nutrition and it refers to prepackaged boxed meals, like Mac & Cheese.   Where is that on the plant based list, haven't seen fields of blue Kraft boxes waving in the sun lately.  Also, it recommends (blue marker, please) you should not consume more than 18 ounces of red meat---beef, lamb or pork, in a week.  I doubt I eat that in a month.  My favorite, however, has to be the section on consumption of alcohol.  It was written by a lawyer for sure.  It states that the American Institute of Cancer Research or some such lofty thinking tank, recommends (blue marker) that you refrain from consumption of alcohol during your treatments. Like I will be reaching for a drink while I am on the vomit comet...  However, if you do partake, it should be limited to 2 drinks per day for men and 1 drink for women. It then continues with what that amount is.  A serving shall constitute 1-12 oz beer, 1.5 oz hard liquor, 4 ounces wine.  In the generation of super size and the Reidel wine glasses, glad they made that clear...Good Grief.

Once you have conquered the basic rule book and think you have a handle on your new lifestyle, the blizzard of new pages come with every visit.  Each has their new set of dos and don't.  Get out your markers and add sticky notes to your bag of tricks, because this is where the rules start getting fuzzy.  On my "T" chemo, the side effect, rule sheet, has the usual dose of in case of allergic reaction and what it is and when to call 911, it restates the drinking alcohol rule from above.  Okay, according to my lawyer, that means an occasional glass of wine (4 ounces, as in the wine glasses I got as wedding present  for my sister 35 years ago size)  on your good week might be okay.  However, the "C" chemo sheet, said in big bold do not (grab your red markers, folks) even think about drinking anything...period---Ten Commandment style. Figure the wrath of God or your liver might fall out.  So, my Lenten season has gotten a ninety day upgrade.

On to yesterday's three hour trip to the Woodlands for my post chemo, immunity building, white cell booster shot, that is given exactly 24 hours (and not a minute less, we tried) after the end of the previous days chemo treatment. (Ed spoke with the nurse about get a Rx for the injection, and giving it to me, himself, instead of driving back and forth.  After all, he had wanted to be a Doctor before he became a lawyer, and he has watched TV medical dramas- doesn't that count for anything?) Today's treatment handout was three, non-hole punched, sheets of side effects, and warnings.  And, there I was without my highlight pens.  Side effects include bone, joint and tooth pain, particular your long bones (arms and legs) with a special shout out to your hips.  Got it, next, in the red marker section of do nots would be the part about don't take aspirin, NSAIDs, or tylenol or any pain relievers as it might mask a fever or reaction that could be life threatening or relieve the pain that you might be experiencing.  Okay, how long will these side effects last---a few days, or possible weeks.  I asked what I should do for these things...since they have taken hot baths, showers, herbals, liquor off the list of alternatives.  Take Claritin the nurse said.  Not on the list, just a sticky note in the nurse's file.  Got it, with pollen so bad that my gray car is yellow, I can do that.  Have my microwave cheetah neck pillow with lavendar oil for my tooth ache, and my 24 hour generic Claritin tab, will be hanging around the house today for sure.  Boy, the rules were much simpler in the time of Moses (heck, even in Heston's day).