When I last wrote, I promised you an Eddie story. With any good Eddie story, there is the background information that is essential to understanding the mind of Eddie (the tao of Eddie, if you will)....but after years of comparing notes with other lady friends, this could actually be a "man" thing. I am by nature and training a list maker, my lists have lists. I delight in crossing off tasks. I do a happy dance when all the tasks on a page are completed. When I was mentally more agile, I had spiral bound notebooks (leftovers from the kids' school work-waste not want not, as my mother would say---complete with those chads and wire pinked edge paper scraps) that would have sections of lists all organized by subject matter. I now have a clip board with leftover notebook paper (yes, I still am using that stuff up, too) that has a sheet each for House/Travel/Kid stuff. Unfortunately, there is nothing going on the Travel sheet, and the kid stuff is pretty much covered on a calendar date as once Camp Allen goes into session (June 21st), Eddie and I are restricted from seeing them as they might be knee deep in Covid Cootie world. Eddie on the other had creates a "super list". It usually starts on a small scrap of paper then progresses to a type written numbered sheet...which takes days to create...instead of working on the list items, Eddie is hung up on the birth of the list, which is then attached to a clipboard...and promptly stuck in a drawer. Sigh. No happy dance. This story begins with one of those “super” list in the Fall of 2016. The list had replace the bulkhead, widen the dock walkway and add rails around both the walkway and the boat house area to prevent the ducks, comorants and gulls from living (and pooping) on said walkway and boat house area. The bulkhead, dock walkway and rails were added prior to March of 2017. Eddie put on his "to do” list to completed the rails around the boathouse area, himself...never sure why he wants to have an actual hand in the finished project...his Scottish heritage, his man pride of I can do this, or a reason to purchase more tools. We departed for our usually Spring Cruise. While we were gone, the April Tax Day flood arrived...and took some (really, a lot) of the backfill from the yard and added to the silt problem in the lake. So, the list was expanded to include dump trucks of dirt and sand and an enormous amount of new sod. These items quickly moved to the top of Eddie's list. Work was completed just in time for the Memorial Day flood....more sand, soil and sod added to Lake Houston. So, the rest of the rail pickets around the boathouse were scheduled to be completed in the Fall of 2017....and we all know what we were doing in that season...Harvey.
Fast forward, Eddie has had many typed lists and a couple of multi paged excel spreadsheets since then. Note, I have not said a word about completion of task on his lists. He obviously does not get the same joy of crossing off as I do. His lists and the ranking of their priority is a combination known only to him. I have determined that if it is not a priority to him, I have two choices, do it myself or hire it out. This is why we have separate lists. We have been finished with all of Harvey's major list items for well more than two years, four months and 7 days. But the rails around the boat house remained on an old 2016 list...until he decided in January that it was now a priority. All the lumber was purchased, all the 2-3/4 inch screws were purchased....and placed in his "shop" to be installed. In fits and starts, the 2 x 4 turned into rails, the 450 rails were cut and 4 screw holes were drill pressed into each for easy installation. The 450 rails were placed in two very neat piles on the dock..in Febraury. Meanwhile, he decided to build and install a dock bench, complete a needlepoint stocking, take a trip to Tucson, build a bedroom furniture for Grace and Lucy, read 25 books and endlessly doom scroll the daily Covid newsfeed. I decided not to ask when he planned on completing the pickets on the rails around the boat house---did I mention he quit smoking? Been married to the man for too long to poke that bear. So I waited, and waited. Our winged friends were no longer impressed with the trip wire on the 2x4 that went down the dock walkway rail, the white evidence of them laughing (and pooping) at our attempts to keep them away were a daily reminder that this work needed to be completed. About 3 weeks ago I added festive nylon flags---I order enough that we can look like a used car lot for years. So glad that Amazon is back to 2 day delivery...for now. There is only about 2-4 weeks flag fluttering before they look a little frayed....hence the large order. However, the flags keep the birds and their poop away. At about the same time, TS Cristobal was forming in the Gulf---and you know Frank (KPRC weather man), he likes to hedge his bets with a forecast of 0-12 inches of rain possible. Well, 12 inches of rain could put water over the boat dock area---and the 450 predrilled, neatly stacked rails would be set sail into the murky waters of Lake Houston. Eddie watched the weather daily to see the storm's course, not yet rushing to complete the dock work. In his defense, he had talked months ago to our handy man about helping him finish the job with using his boat (since we all know what happened to our---and no, a new boat is not on my list---but it is on Eddie's)...Handy man said he was booked solid. So, Cristobal blew east and the backside left of us with several days of 20-30 mph winds on the lake...out of the north....in other words directly into the front of the dock. Well, you guessed it. These were the days that Eddie decided that the work was to be completed. Without his much younger and more agile handy man in a boat, he determined that we (as in me and him, we) could do the work with Skippy the jet ski as our flotation device, or hanging from the skippy lift, or on our bellies (in freshly washed bird poop land) with arms poking through the pickets to secure the lower screws. The top 450 pickets were quick-we both had cordless lightweight drills, I started the upper screws, he mounted the picket to the precovid period rail with his handy block of wood and grip clamp...we were humming. The wind was not an issue, it was invigorating..wind, drills, marking thing off my list ---what could be better...until we got the bottom two screws. That is when Skippy was set into the water to be used as a construction barge in a 30 mph North wind. First, I worried that Ed drop the cordless drill---and you know Eddie, he doesn't do cheap. So, I raided our travel box for a long lanyard with clip and fashioned a loop with a zip tie to allow him to be able to keep the drill out of the water (read bottom of Lake) and around his neck, I then attached a rope to the front and back of Skippy. So, picture this, Eddie in a snuggly fitting life preserver (Covid/Not smoking weight gain), on Skippy holding/wearing a drill, my legs snuggly (yeah, I can cop to some Covid Cushion)threaded through the pickets so my feet could steady Skippy as it bobbed and slammed into the dock and my legs in the wind driven white capping lake water, holding both ropes in one hand to keep him close to the target zone, hand starting the bottom screws with my now blood finger tips, and holding a level so that he was sure that it was level and screwing in the two screws. Fun huh, the only thing that made it more special was Eddie implying that I was not helping keep the jet ski steady or that he could see the bubble in the level was not just so. We worked like this for about 2 hours, and only managed to screw in 20 or so pickets....40 screws... We were done for the day. While Eddie was redocking Skippy I used the lanyard drill and reached through the pickets and screwed in probably 5 or so pickets. Not comfortable, but better than Plan A. Over the next few windy days we completed the job. I would hand thread start the screws Eddie would reach through and finish the job. 10 days later I am still wearing bandaid on my index fingers. The dock furniture has been bracketed to the deck. Like I said, when it comes to lists, if it is important to me---do it myself (the flags were my dyi option) or hire it out.
I will finish with the promised quick Karen story. Sun glare give me a headache, not to mention makes it hard for me to see. Since we were working on the dock, I used a pair of old prescription sunglasses...knowing that dangling over the side of the dock or through the pickets was a good way to lose the glasses. My old glasses do not have a strong enough reading script...so on one of my many trip back to the house to get a certain sized screw or a something that needed better vision, I grabbed my regular glasses and kept swapping them out for my sunglasses. I was very careful in where I was placing my regular glasses....or at least I thought so. After we were done for the day, the Skippy cover was on the newly constructed bench, Eddie toy, I mean tool, box was repacked for the trip back up to the house, we headed back up. I reached the house and realized I had my sunglasses on, but where were my regular glasses. Back and forth to the dock (yeah, I got my 10,000 steps in), in and out of my pockets, Eddie's tool box, the Skippy Cover, furniture---no glasses...Oh well, must have gone over board. I have never lost a pair of Rx glasses before....Rats, a perfect record ruined, an item to add to my list. Back at the house, I put my hand through my hair, as it has been blown into a fine mess...and there the glasses sat. Oh well, guess we are both older than we think. What a surprise!
As we enter into the uptick of the first wave of this Covid Season, remember to stay safe and healthy and always try to find something that makes you laugh out loud every day!
Sunday, June 21, 2020
Tuesday, June 9, 2020
Whiplash!
Holy Cow! I started a new post a couple of weeks ago, mid-May I would guess, when Texas (aka the Wild West) began reopening after our Spring Covid19 season of lockdown. Kinda like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly after a period of cocooning. Despite its many legs, the caterpillar does not appear to stray too far from home, continuously eating, not hanging with others, then spinning itself into a cocoon (I wonder if the better cocoons have Netflix or Amazon Prime)...then bursting forth with wings and taking flight frantically flying from bush to flower and back again. In the case of the Monarch butterflies flying to Mexico for the winter. Ahh, travel, I so miss it. This is the first Spring we have had at home in 10 years... I wonder if our butterflies have been instructed to wear little butterfly masks, and use social distancing? And so it is, some of us has taken flight from our cocoons, and been buzzing around without a care in the world (or caring too much as the case may be). Not too far as you can't cross the borders, yet.... What a difference a couple of weeks in the cocoon make! The entire country has gone from cocooning at home to out in the streets....in crazy large numbers...sweating, yelling, chanting, laying face down on the dirty street, not social distancing, sharing water bottles with not a drop of hand sanitizer in sight. Talk about short attention spans. Frankly, I am suffering from whiplash on what the rules are right now and how to determine what Phase we are in (Phase-is that even a thing, or has it been retired like our M&M threat levels), what is open with restrictions and is really and truly closed. Eddie has decided that we all secretly voted (no mail in ballots, please) and decided that we really wanted to follow Sweden's lead - frequent hand washing, social distancing, masks and guns optional, keep the old and sick (aka "our most vulnerable populations") at home-without visitors, otherwise, business as usual. FYI Houston is up 36% on Covid hospitalizations since we began reopening, protesting, etc. Looks like we may have pulled the $16 million temporary field hospital at Reliant down a little early...oops. That is $32 million we won't have for flooding and storm clean up this year if we have to have a do over. All that and the threat of locusts and murder hornets---not even the apocalyptic movies that usually come out for the 4th of July have plots this complicated.
I remember thinking about where to begin on reopening---the thought of Shakespeare's Hamlet popped into my tiny little head - "To mask or not to mask"...that is the question. At that point masking seem like the reasonable way to protect one's self. It has become apparent that there are two camps, those that do and those that won't ever. Ed and I are firmly in the camp of do-bees (remember Romper Room). We have traveled too much to Asia and watch everyone always wearing masks--there is a reason, they are not doing it for a fashion statement. In fact, I ordered masks in early January when this first started on the news. (remember the old adage, a butterfly flaps its wings in China, and the US catches the cold) Ed laughed at me...by March he was asking me where they were...along with hand sanitizer, Clorox wipes, Lysol spray and gloves (yup, I had them---only failed the year supply of toilet paper test) Unfortunately, I had a case of writer's block or a case of news overload....I have read 12 different books since then. I was also tired of cooking and eating my own meals. Peanut butter and crackers, anyone? I could put a few words down, but I was stuck for inspiration on how to proceed... However, I now must as a PSA write a word about masking etiquette. While I have seen some of these various infractions myself, locally and personally, you need look no farther than your daily news---pick your flavor-CNN, NBC, CBS, BBC, FOX, ABC---to see the total lack of common sense for proper mask usage. Folks, I know it is hot, but if you choose to wear a mask, let's think about some proper ground rules. Otherwise, be a mask not person, cause you are doing more harm to yourself than good with what you are doing...besides looking stupid. First, it is not a sweat band-putting your mask on your forehead is not going to help you with the Covid Cooties. Likewise for being a headband. Second, the proper placement is right side up---if your mask has a metal clip, that belongs on the bridge of your nose, not on your chin or under your chin. You gently grab the clip and pinch slightly to make the mask fit better....I believe the term is secure fit. The metal clip on the bottom will not stop you from snoring or being a mouth breather. Homemade masks without a clip often have at contour shape that fits the nose bridge, while the chin side does not have the peaked edge. There is probably a right side and a wrong side to your mask...make sure you have that right, too. If you wear your mask multiple times, regardless of type, you should endeavor to have the same side to your face every time. More on that in a moment. Third, and this is a biggie---the mask needs to be on the bridge of your nose (meaning over your nasal passages-those roundish holes, two per human) and over your month (that big slit in your face) and far enough down on your chin so that it does not gap when you speak. If you are speaking or being spoken to---keep it covered, both of them-nose and mouth. Some folks get this half right and have it only over their mouths, or only over the noses---you will not get just half the virus if you do this, you will get the whole virus. Kinda of like being a little pregnant....it does not work that way. Fourth, if you are promask---commit to the mask, do not use your hand that has been on the grocery cart or other public surface to remove the mask from one ear allowing it to dangle like a Christmas ornament from your one ear, or push it down under your chin, then use the now dirty hand to reposition the mask when you see someone headed for your 6 foot separation bubble. They have said from the start, it is almost an involuntary reflex to touch your face. Keep your hands away from your face...to include nose picking-which I have witnessed, mask down, pick, mask up. And it was an adult....ewwww... Finally, treat your mask like your underwear. Think about it ---your mask has been over your face and mouth, you have breathed in and out (I assume) have spoken to people (think spit or just those invisible mouth cooties they keep talking about on both sides of the mask) and have taken it off with your hopefully hand sanitized hands...with your car AC running (hey, it is hot out there)...place your mask someplace clean if you are going to wear it again....know which side is front and back. What do you do with your underwear when you are getting ready for a change---shower or what have you? You don't put it on the floor then pick it up and put it back on later. Consider washing your mask after every outing...or go commando... Don't even get me started about paper mask reuse for weeks....right up there with the nose picker on gross out meter. I see that dirty masks hanging from Bubba's pick up truck's rear view window....
In coming days, I have an Eddie story, and a Karen story---no, not the urban slang "Karen"...which I was not even aware of until I stumbled into Covid Karen articles....like I said, I have ODed on News articles. Asked my adult children, and they told me that being a "Karen" was a thing before Covid was a thing. I have been enlightened, no more loudly asking to talk to the manager---which my family knows I am sooo likely to do....you never know who has their phone camera on these days.
I remember thinking about where to begin on reopening---the thought of Shakespeare's Hamlet popped into my tiny little head - "To mask or not to mask"...that is the question. At that point masking seem like the reasonable way to protect one's self. It has become apparent that there are two camps, those that do and those that won't ever. Ed and I are firmly in the camp of do-bees (remember Romper Room). We have traveled too much to Asia and watch everyone always wearing masks--there is a reason, they are not doing it for a fashion statement. In fact, I ordered masks in early January when this first started on the news. (remember the old adage, a butterfly flaps its wings in China, and the US catches the cold) Ed laughed at me...by March he was asking me where they were...along with hand sanitizer, Clorox wipes, Lysol spray and gloves (yup, I had them---only failed the year supply of toilet paper test) Unfortunately, I had a case of writer's block or a case of news overload....I have read 12 different books since then. I was also tired of cooking and eating my own meals. Peanut butter and crackers, anyone? I could put a few words down, but I was stuck for inspiration on how to proceed... However, I now must as a PSA write a word about masking etiquette. While I have seen some of these various infractions myself, locally and personally, you need look no farther than your daily news---pick your flavor-CNN, NBC, CBS, BBC, FOX, ABC---to see the total lack of common sense for proper mask usage. Folks, I know it is hot, but if you choose to wear a mask, let's think about some proper ground rules. Otherwise, be a mask not person, cause you are doing more harm to yourself than good with what you are doing...besides looking stupid. First, it is not a sweat band-putting your mask on your forehead is not going to help you with the Covid Cooties. Likewise for being a headband. Second, the proper placement is right side up---if your mask has a metal clip, that belongs on the bridge of your nose, not on your chin or under your chin. You gently grab the clip and pinch slightly to make the mask fit better....I believe the term is secure fit. The metal clip on the bottom will not stop you from snoring or being a mouth breather. Homemade masks without a clip often have at contour shape that fits the nose bridge, while the chin side does not have the peaked edge. There is probably a right side and a wrong side to your mask...make sure you have that right, too. If you wear your mask multiple times, regardless of type, you should endeavor to have the same side to your face every time. More on that in a moment. Third, and this is a biggie---the mask needs to be on the bridge of your nose (meaning over your nasal passages-those roundish holes, two per human) and over your month (that big slit in your face) and far enough down on your chin so that it does not gap when you speak. If you are speaking or being spoken to---keep it covered, both of them-nose and mouth. Some folks get this half right and have it only over their mouths, or only over the noses---you will not get just half the virus if you do this, you will get the whole virus. Kinda of like being a little pregnant....it does not work that way. Fourth, if you are promask---commit to the mask, do not use your hand that has been on the grocery cart or other public surface to remove the mask from one ear allowing it to dangle like a Christmas ornament from your one ear, or push it down under your chin, then use the now dirty hand to reposition the mask when you see someone headed for your 6 foot separation bubble. They have said from the start, it is almost an involuntary reflex to touch your face. Keep your hands away from your face...to include nose picking-which I have witnessed, mask down, pick, mask up. And it was an adult....ewwww... Finally, treat your mask like your underwear. Think about it ---your mask has been over your face and mouth, you have breathed in and out (I assume) have spoken to people (think spit or just those invisible mouth cooties they keep talking about on both sides of the mask) and have taken it off with your hopefully hand sanitized hands...with your car AC running (hey, it is hot out there)...place your mask someplace clean if you are going to wear it again....know which side is front and back. What do you do with your underwear when you are getting ready for a change---shower or what have you? You don't put it on the floor then pick it up and put it back on later. Consider washing your mask after every outing...or go commando... Don't even get me started about paper mask reuse for weeks....right up there with the nose picker on gross out meter. I see that dirty masks hanging from Bubba's pick up truck's rear view window....
In coming days, I have an Eddie story, and a Karen story---no, not the urban slang "Karen"...which I was not even aware of until I stumbled into Covid Karen articles....like I said, I have ODed on News articles. Asked my adult children, and they told me that being a "Karen" was a thing before Covid was a thing. I have been enlightened, no more loudly asking to talk to the manager---which my family knows I am sooo likely to do....you never know who has their phone camera on these days.
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