Horoscope

Yesterday morning , as I settled down with my usual first of 3 large cups of Starbucks Breakfast blend coffee and the Houston Chronicle, I decided to read my Jacqueline Bigar's Horoscope for the day.  Since I already have the power of prayer going for me, mediation and howling at the new moon covered, what could a quick glance at my 'scope hurt.  For Tuesday, March 6, my Libra (yes, I look for balance), read: *** (3 star day out of 5 stars-fair day, scales of balance titled toward positive---I'll take that) "Today, you will witness a radical change in your mood, energy and sense of empowerment.  You could drag your heels for a good portion of the day, then suddenly feel as if you just woken up from a wonderful night's sleep."

How did that work out for me?  Radical change in my mood--yeah, it was pretty radical.  I had a great deal of fear, anxiety, and general dread going to MD Anderson in the Woodlands at 11:15 yesterday.  It is about 45 minutes there, and another 15 minutes looking for a parking place.  The weather was overcast, adding to my less than sunny mode.  After the usual, name, medical record number (can they just not UPC tattoo that to some body part), birthday, here is your medical id bracelet for today (I have quite a collection at this point).  We were ushered back to our private infusion room, with a nice recliner (had to arm wrestle Ed to get the chair) and an suitably uncomfortable waiting room chair for him.  My infusion nurse came in, Amber.  After exchanging the necessary medical info, we stumbled upon the fact that she knew Lauren.  She had "happened" at Camp Allen when Lauren was the Happening Director during her Senior year of high school.  That six degree of separation thing...she was probably much friendlier and more attentive that a random bench nurse would have been.  So, she helped reduce my fear level to almost a manageable range.  Amber then began hanging the bags on an octopus IV stand, 8 bags, with more interchanges and connections than the I-610,I-10, Hwy 290 interchange by the Gallerie.  Glad she knew the on and off ramps like the back of her hand.  The IV port (last week's medical pain in the boob) was a life saver, my veins were happy not to be called into duty again.  It wasn't that bad, just took 4.5 hours, since you can't throw it all in at the same time---might be toxic..yeah, right, don't want to be toxic or anything.  I only struggled slightly with the "T" - Doxotaxol portion of the chemo.  My throat started to clench--but Amber was just a drug throw away and nailed me with bendaryl...lots of it, I was home by 6:00, dinner and pajamas by 7:00, and in bed by 8:00.  The energy portion of today adventure--I was clearly not myself when we left at 4:30, kinda of like one too many margaritas, but I was calm for sure.  Sense of empowerment-yeah, that would be the high point--one down 5 to go, I can do this, no problem, piece of cake---must be the artificial adrendine/manic from the steroid making me say that.

Okay, part two, the suddenly...woken up---3:00 AM, to be exact.  Wonderful night's sleep part--well maybe-- according to my bedmate, I sawed logs, until 3:00.  Then it was like I had a Casa Elena's Pitcher of Margarita Hangover. For those of you long time residents of Kingwood, their margaritas are legendary for their strength and day after effects...even in smallest of doses.     The front and back of my head hurt--thanks bendaryl blood pressure spike and steroid eye pressure issues...nothing an ice pack on the back of the neck won't fix.  Salt and Lime - that would be the total acid feeling that I am experiencing----tears, sweat and anything else that leaks water...will probably have to burn my underwear if it doesn't have acid holes in it already.  Digestive tract, operational, with lots of grumbling, but eating yogurt, pears and other healing items in an attempt to ride out the next three days of threatened side effects.  Oh yeah, nerve endings---tingling, and firing at will.  I guess the side effect portion cause the two star downgrade on my day's 'scope.  Other than that I have survived the day.  Of course, just about the time I might feel like myself, we will drive back to the Woodlands during afternoon rush hour for a booster shot for my red and white cell stimulation...which comes with the bonus of bone and joint pain...but of course, there is a drug for that.  For a person who has tried to avoid the drug route her whole life, giving my body time to heal itself, I have made up in the last 4 months for forsaking the drug companies' profit margin.  Eddie has always been our family's drug company poster boy...best blood work money can buy.  I thought that it was a family plan, not individual achievement.

In the coming days, Lauren will update my header for my blog, she is really good at that.  Make it a little more pickle-fied and a little less pink.  I am not a wear pink, embrace the pink ribbon, type of person, figured when I go bald, that will be like a big neon sign, no need to wallow in it. So, the top will change, the warped sense of humor won't.  Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers.