Unicorns, Mermaids, Caves and Corvettes, Oh My!

 If a little is good, a lot be more better…this is our Eddie’s mantra.  Kinda of his version of “everything in moderation”.  We are headed down the Kentucky highways and byways, looking for unicorns and mermaids at all the local liquor stores.  Unicorns are the rare bottles of Blanton’s (which after discussing with numerous local bourbon retailers, the allocation from the distributor is dispensed the last week of each month).  Fact-distillers can sell their product, but once it is bottled in the bottling plant, it goes to the distributor and then back to the “gift shop”.  To protect the employees-no one at the distillery knows which limited bottles of what will be delivered each day/week…Mermaids are those bottles of bourbon that are only available in Kentucky-like the Heaven Hills Green Label.  To be a unicorn and mermaid hunter, one must know his quarry, as not all of these bootleggers-oops I mean liquor purveyors, are honest about what is on the shelf or the price.  I visited a local owner in Bardstown,  “Toddy”, who use to sell Blanton’s at the regular price when he got it in.  He now proudly displays his 4 stylings of Blanton’s “behind the counter, on the top shelf” with handmade price tags of $152.00, $300.00, $450.00, $500.00.  He said he even had Pappy’s in his safe.  If you ask him to look at the bottle, he smiles, looks both ways (in case this old fat lady makes a break for the door with said bottle) and allows you to examine the bottle.  Said bottle has its seal broken and the color is a little off for bourbon.  Nope, nope, nope…my Momma did not raise a fool.  Thanks, but no thanks.  And,  then there is Eddie…he has drunk bourbon his entire life…in all price ranges…it is his go to Fall and Winter drink.  Typically, he drinks gin after Derby Day/mint juleps, then resumes Bourbon related drinks after Labor Day.  Kinda like not wearing white before Easter or after Labor Day-old school.  So, with his seasoned palate to go by, and nothing else, we are off looking for mermaids…I am quite  sure we have gotten a few narwhals in the mix.  When at the distilleries, the tastings provide the necessary research for purchase.  Our Eddie is not impressed with “Bottled in Bond” and “Cask strength”, he goes by taste, smell, the “hug-ability” (the warmth that you feel when you take a sip is called a Kentucky hug).  I trust his palette…lots of original equipment may have been replaced or is not functioning, but his nose and tastebud grow stronger as he ages.  However, once you leave the tasting bubble and go into a local liquor store, all bets are off.  Ohh, shiny!  Eddie has bitten on every piece of bait that was thrown out.  These old boys just set the hook and reeled him in.  I hope he checked the seals.  

Along with are Bourbon chasing, we decided to get our National Park passport stamped going to Mammoth Caves.  Growing up North Alabama which is part of the Limestone shelf in these parts, we frequently went to Cathedral Caverns and other area tourist traps…heck, there were even the caves that were in our neighborhood that we were forbidden to go to-but you know what they say about forbidden fruit.  Eddie and I have visited (and gotten our NP Passport stamp) at Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico.  So,if Eddie knows Bourbon-I can claim cave knowledge.  The Park, itself, is pristine.  Those shovel ready projects we hear so much about have recently completed a lovely large visitor center.  The roads and campsite have few cars or campers.  The network of known caves within the park is over 400 miles.  There are dueling caves fighting for your tourist dollars surrounding the park…but as caves go it was a dud,  I saw more interesting caves growing up.  But if you are looking to be in a National Park Camp during covid without the rest of the US, Mammoth is your destination…average temp below is 55 degrees, no crowds, at all, clean restrooms.   

Our stopping point for the day is Bowling Green.  Home to the GM Corvette Assembly plant and the National Corvette Museum….conveniently located aside Interstate 65 South.  Unbeknownst to us, George is a closet gear head…Cousin Vince said it was a must see…more liquor stores or the Corvette Museum?  We will take 2 Senior Ticket and one regular admission, please.  Just our luck, Labor Day weekend is the quarterly meeting of Corvette groupies and the Museum committee…can I tell you how many men where there with their Corvettes?  Want to guess their average age?  Depending on your Memory chip for old worthless news, you might remember that a portion of this very circus like building collapsed into a sink hole In 2014.  Remember the stuff about caves all over these parts…yup, cave, weight on top, water, global warming, climate change..sinkholes.  Half the floor of the “big top arena area” gobbled up 7 or 8 rare, one of a kind corvettes.  Oops, hope that they  had good insurance.  The entire story along with the mangled carcasses of the cars are on display.  Actually, this cave story was better than  the Mammoth Cave story..cause everyone rubber necks at a car wreck.  The two boys looked pretty please with themselves as we exited through the gift shop.  We all know that is the tour’s last stop-Kinda like Cracker Barrel’s gift shop…this is where they make their money.  Had to stop Eddie from purchasing a red embroidered Corvette shirt.  I have seen that twinkle in his eye before.  Fishing gear, shop equipment, books, bourbon—-it is all about the toys.  Funny, in all the old guys out front with their ‘vettes’, none looked Eddie.  This should be interesting,  

The Road Home

 If it is Tuesday, it must mean a Tropical Storm (as in Ida, Fred is so dead, and so two weeks ago).  While I haven’t posted anything things of late, it in not that there has been no news or Eddie stories..just not much of an opportunity to sit with my morning coffee.  Lauren and crew (along with Drew’s parents) came and went…with a side order of TS Fred flooding, downing trees, mud slides (yes, that is how NC does heavy rains), and road closures.  Points to those of you who got the geography correct and asked if we were underwater or just treading.  Talk about a busman’s holiday…we have been here for Florence (2016), Fred (2021) and now Ida (2021)…we travel and bring our own hurricanes/bad weather with us (along with KPRC Frank’s weather app-and warnings)…you can thanks us now, Houston, as no hurricanes are in Texas as long as the target is in NC.  George arrived last Thursday (a week ago) and it has been nonstop foodie and drink adventures since then.  For those of you who had your money on “0” for the number of times the fishing equipment (and golf) was used, you may collect your winnings at the window.  

As you all know, I am a planner…between Covid and weather, I have spent a good deal of time modifying, cancelling, postponing and changing my plans for this trip…to include our Labor Day long weekend in New Orleans-nope, third world travel is not Eddie’s fav), Canadian train trip in later September, and pivoting on restaurants we planned on dining with that are still on take away status.  Each state and place we have visited has handled Covid, masking, staffing and hours of operation differently.  It has been eye opening…particularly coming from the Texas/KW/Houston bubble…we actually have it pretty good…except for the Delta stuff.  

Knowing that Tuesday was forecast to be heavy rain, we (as in George and I) did the breakdown and pack up on Monday…it is good to be King, right, Eddie.  At 9:00 sharp on Tuesday morning, under threatening skies, we pulled out of our river home for the last time.  After reviewing the weather app and storm trajectory, we actually drove south to go north, staying off the narrow two lanes and using Interstate highways into Kentucky.  Good planning, Karen, 6 hours into the Lexington area with only a minimum amount of rain.  Our Kentucky adventure is all about the Bourbon.  We have done Civil War trails, wine trails, beer breweries, antebellum homes, literary tours, National Park trails-we are a sucker for those passport stamps.  When planning this trip, with Bourbon being the Hip liquor du jour, I decided that a detour to 6 or so distilleries and a NP (Mammoth Cave) would be a good adventure for both Eddie and George.  

The Kentucky highways-Mitch (as in McConnell, Senior Senator from Ky) and Rand (Paul-Jr. Senator from Ky) have done a grand job of federal dollars to their Highway system.  Some of the best maintained Interstates and Parkways we have traveled on since the Interstate system began (see Eisenhower administration).  Well played, Mitch and Rand.  Tennessee, Alabama could learn much from you.  

After years of “Corporate” travel, Eddie likes Bed and Breakfast, boutique hotels or VRBOs for his over night stays when leisure traveling.  This adventure has been no different.  A castle and a jail…seems about right.  First the, Kentucky Castle-a very choice piece of prime property in Woodford County, with the prerequisite interesting background story-divorce, Jane Curren (there is a flashback) abandoned to reclaimed by investors.  Woodford is just west of Lexington, and is ground zero for horse farms.  We used Waz to navigate, and the road less travel took us through the most picturesque horse farms all with blue grass rolling hills, black painted fencing that lines every piece of property, elegant manor houses new and centuries old, fields of corn, soybeans and tobacco, and horses.  You know when you read a description of an area…then you actually go there (see Eddie literary tours for details) or watch a movie…it just does not quite live up to what you imagined?  Well, the area does.  It is like stepping into a painting.  Back to my Castle adventure…restaurant is rated as one of the best in the area - Eddie check…the accommodations were rated as some of the best..check.  Covid staffing….ummm…not thinking Cornell or U of H Hotel Motel Management School…when there are only 10 rooms and 3 turret suites (yes, we had a turret room - think Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair), you would think that the desk clerk might know where the room was.  The staff was super nice, but super young and inexperienced…Covid has been hard on the hospitality industry…they all loved hanging around the well equipped Bourbon Bar helping mix and sample drinks.    By the way, Eddie kept remarking that this is not what he imagined…ahh, the King is not happy in his Kentucky Castle.  It is for one night, You will live.  

Wednesday morning arrived-with overcast skies, which gave way to blue skies and cooler temps (low 70’s) as we followed the black fences through Versailles (of course, our castle was in Versailles-this is an Eddie fantasy, right) by Coolmore Farms, homes to 2 Triple Crown winners, and to the enormous campus of Buffalo Trace Distillery on the banks of the Kentucky River.  The line started early for temperature check and mask instructions, but as we had a booked tour (thanks, Vera) we got to cut the line…An Eddie favorite.  While a tour of the distillery is nice, we have learned that it is all about the Gift Shops…cause this is where the good stuff might be.  They will have some bottles of stuff that you can get in Texas, but there are bottles of “distillery only” or “limited” brands.  The line was a buzz…yesterday, in the pouring down rain, visitors were treated to Blanton’s…yes, the pot of gold at the end of the Kentucky rainbow.  But that was Tuesday.  Wednesday it was Taylor small batch…one to a customer, only every 90 days, licenses scanned.  Rats.  The line (because you know there will be a long one)  gadflies had various liquor stores in the area with a bottle of this or that…oooh, more planning.  Buffalo Trace marketing is outstanding-create the buzz, and mystique, then limit supply….they are not part of the “Official” Bourbon Trail-no passport stamp here.  

We spent the afternoon with Woodford Reserve, before driving down the Bluegrass parkway to Bardstown…the cradle of Bourbon distilling.  I decided on accommodations in the Jail….Jailer’s Inn.  The Original jail (202 years old) still exists, with thick concrete walls and iron bars, but the front and side buildings were the jailer’s home and now a bed and breakfast.  Our Jailer, Paul, is a wonderful talkative host.  The rooms are vintage grandmother’s house with hints of White Shoulder dusting powder and dollies on the dressers.  Breakfast is served in the outside patio room with Max the bunny as your floor entertainment.  The bunny at breakfast in a jail…what more could you ask for.  Oh yeah, you know the King….yesterday, after several bourbon tastings, Eddie retired to the bed chamber…for a pre-cocktail hour nap.  Did I mention we are next to a Feed store with an industrial feed grinder?  Wait for it, the grinding station is right out side of our bedroom window.  I thought he was going to levitate off the bed— crown and all—when 100 pounds of feed had to be ground.  Glad they close early.  

Bardstown has followed the boom to bust road of the distillers of Kentucky…the water naturally filtered by limestone, the corn, rye and wheat all Kentucky grown pretty much stay the same but the owners have changed frequently.  The same goes for the shops and restaurants.  The Tavern next door has been serving guests since the late 1780’s remains a constant, but as  We walked the Main Street sad to see that many of the places had closed during covid.  One bright spot was a prohibition style Speak Easy bar for predinner drinks (as if we had not sampled enough)…just had to use your cell phone to get the magic code.  It had over 150 different bourbons…educational and something different.  

Today was more touring of distilleries and passport stamping.  Can I tell you what it is like shopping with two boys in multiple bourbon shops?  Eddie even dressed in red and black for the Maker’s Mark tour….I really think it was an accident, but he looked like he belonged for sure.  We have more gift bags of bourbon  and bourbon merc than we have room for in the  car…perhaps I should leave the 40 pound bag of fly equipment out…

Tomorrow we head south, the Bourbon Trail behind us, Mammoth Cave in front of us.  I am sure that we will stop along the way at every liquor store looking for our unicorn and mermaid bourbons…rumor has it that the Blanton’s allocation has just been distributed.