Unicorns, Mermaids, Caves and Corvettes, Oh My!

 If a little is good, a lot be more better…this is our Eddie’s mantra.  Kinda of his version of “everything in moderation”.  We are headed down the Kentucky highways and byways, looking for unicorns and mermaids at all the local liquor stores.  Unicorns are the rare bottles of Blanton’s (which after discussing with numerous local bourbon retailers, the allocation from the distributor is dispensed the last week of each month).  Fact-distillers can sell their product, but once it is bottled in the bottling plant, it goes to the distributor and then back to the “gift shop”.  To protect the employees-no one at the distillery knows which limited bottles of what will be delivered each day/week…Mermaids are those bottles of bourbon that are only available in Kentucky-like the Heaven Hills Green Label.  To be a unicorn and mermaid hunter, one must know his quarry, as not all of these bootleggers-oops I mean liquor purveyors, are honest about what is on the shelf or the price.  I visited a local owner in Bardstown,  “Toddy”, who use to sell Blanton’s at the regular price when he got it in.  He now proudly displays his 4 stylings of Blanton’s “behind the counter, on the top shelf” with handmade price tags of $152.00, $300.00, $450.00, $500.00.  He said he even had Pappy’s in his safe.  If you ask him to look at the bottle, he smiles, looks both ways (in case this old fat lady makes a break for the door with said bottle) and allows you to examine the bottle.  Said bottle has its seal broken and the color is a little off for bourbon.  Nope, nope, nope…my Momma did not raise a fool.  Thanks, but no thanks.  And,  then there is Eddie…he has drunk bourbon his entire life…in all price ranges…it is his go to Fall and Winter drink.  Typically, he drinks gin after Derby Day/mint juleps, then resumes Bourbon related drinks after Labor Day.  Kinda like not wearing white before Easter or after Labor Day-old school.  So, with his seasoned palate to go by, and nothing else, we are off looking for mermaids…I am quite  sure we have gotten a few narwhals in the mix.  When at the distilleries, the tastings provide the necessary research for purchase.  Our Eddie is not impressed with “Bottled in Bond” and “Cask strength”, he goes by taste, smell, the “hug-ability” (the warmth that you feel when you take a sip is called a Kentucky hug).  I trust his palette…lots of original equipment may have been replaced or is not functioning, but his nose and tastebud grow stronger as he ages.  However, once you leave the tasting bubble and go into a local liquor store, all bets are off.  Ohh, shiny!  Eddie has bitten on every piece of bait that was thrown out.  These old boys just set the hook and reeled him in.  I hope he checked the seals.  

Along with are Bourbon chasing, we decided to get our National Park passport stamped going to Mammoth Caves.  Growing up North Alabama which is part of the Limestone shelf in these parts, we frequently went to Cathedral Caverns and other area tourist traps…heck, there were even the caves that were in our neighborhood that we were forbidden to go to-but you know what they say about forbidden fruit.  Eddie and I have visited (and gotten our NP Passport stamp) at Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico.  So,if Eddie knows Bourbon-I can claim cave knowledge.  The Park, itself, is pristine.  Those shovel ready projects we hear so much about have recently completed a lovely large visitor center.  The roads and campsite have few cars or campers.  The network of known caves within the park is over 400 miles.  There are dueling caves fighting for your tourist dollars surrounding the park…but as caves go it was a dud,  I saw more interesting caves growing up.  But if you are looking to be in a National Park Camp during covid without the rest of the US, Mammoth is your destination…average temp below is 55 degrees, no crowds, at all, clean restrooms.   

Our stopping point for the day is Bowling Green.  Home to the GM Corvette Assembly plant and the National Corvette Museum….conveniently located aside Interstate 65 South.  Unbeknownst to us, George is a closet gear head…Cousin Vince said it was a must see…more liquor stores or the Corvette Museum?  We will take 2 Senior Ticket and one regular admission, please.  Just our luck, Labor Day weekend is the quarterly meeting of Corvette groupies and the Museum committee…can I tell you how many men where there with their Corvettes?  Want to guess their average age?  Depending on your Memory chip for old worthless news, you might remember that a portion of this very circus like building collapsed into a sink hole In 2014.  Remember the stuff about caves all over these parts…yup, cave, weight on top, water, global warming, climate change..sinkholes.  Half the floor of the “big top arena area” gobbled up 7 or 8 rare, one of a kind corvettes.  Oops, hope that they  had good insurance.  The entire story along with the mangled carcasses of the cars are on display.  Actually, this cave story was better than  the Mammoth Cave story..cause everyone rubber necks at a car wreck.  The two boys looked pretty please with themselves as we exited through the gift shop.  We all know that is the tour’s last stop-Kinda like Cracker Barrel’s gift shop…this is where they make their money.  Had to stop Eddie from purchasing a red embroidered Corvette shirt.  I have seen that twinkle in his eye before.  Fishing gear, shop equipment, books, bourbon—-it is all about the toys.  Funny, in all the old guys out front with their ‘vettes’, none looked Eddie.  This should be interesting,  

The Road Home

 If it is Tuesday, it must mean a Tropical Storm (as in Ida, Fred is so dead, and so two weeks ago).  While I haven’t posted anything things of late, it in not that there has been no news or Eddie stories..just not much of an opportunity to sit with my morning coffee.  Lauren and crew (along with Drew’s parents) came and went…with a side order of TS Fred flooding, downing trees, mud slides (yes, that is how NC does heavy rains), and road closures.  Points to those of you who got the geography correct and asked if we were underwater or just treading.  Talk about a busman’s holiday…we have been here for Florence (2016), Fred (2021) and now Ida (2021)…we travel and bring our own hurricanes/bad weather with us (along with KPRC Frank’s weather app-and warnings)…you can thanks us now, Houston, as no hurricanes are in Texas as long as the target is in NC.  George arrived last Thursday (a week ago) and it has been nonstop foodie and drink adventures since then.  For those of you who had your money on “0” for the number of times the fishing equipment (and golf) was used, you may collect your winnings at the window.  

As you all know, I am a planner…between Covid and weather, I have spent a good deal of time modifying, cancelling, postponing and changing my plans for this trip…to include our Labor Day long weekend in New Orleans-nope, third world travel is not Eddie’s fav), Canadian train trip in later September, and pivoting on restaurants we planned on dining with that are still on take away status.  Each state and place we have visited has handled Covid, masking, staffing and hours of operation differently.  It has been eye opening…particularly coming from the Texas/KW/Houston bubble…we actually have it pretty good…except for the Delta stuff.  

Knowing that Tuesday was forecast to be heavy rain, we (as in George and I) did the breakdown and pack up on Monday…it is good to be King, right, Eddie.  At 9:00 sharp on Tuesday morning, under threatening skies, we pulled out of our river home for the last time.  After reviewing the weather app and storm trajectory, we actually drove south to go north, staying off the narrow two lanes and using Interstate highways into Kentucky.  Good planning, Karen, 6 hours into the Lexington area with only a minimum amount of rain.  Our Kentucky adventure is all about the Bourbon.  We have done Civil War trails, wine trails, beer breweries, antebellum homes, literary tours, National Park trails-we are a sucker for those passport stamps.  When planning this trip, with Bourbon being the Hip liquor du jour, I decided that a detour to 6 or so distilleries and a NP (Mammoth Cave) would be a good adventure for both Eddie and George.  

The Kentucky highways-Mitch (as in McConnell, Senior Senator from Ky) and Rand (Paul-Jr. Senator from Ky) have done a grand job of federal dollars to their Highway system.  Some of the best maintained Interstates and Parkways we have traveled on since the Interstate system began (see Eisenhower administration).  Well played, Mitch and Rand.  Tennessee, Alabama could learn much from you.  

After years of “Corporate” travel, Eddie likes Bed and Breakfast, boutique hotels or VRBOs for his over night stays when leisure traveling.  This adventure has been no different.  A castle and a jail…seems about right.  First the, Kentucky Castle-a very choice piece of prime property in Woodford County, with the prerequisite interesting background story-divorce, Jane Curren (there is a flashback) abandoned to reclaimed by investors.  Woodford is just west of Lexington, and is ground zero for horse farms.  We used Waz to navigate, and the road less travel took us through the most picturesque horse farms all with blue grass rolling hills, black painted fencing that lines every piece of property, elegant manor houses new and centuries old, fields of corn, soybeans and tobacco, and horses.  You know when you read a description of an area…then you actually go there (see Eddie literary tours for details) or watch a movie…it just does not quite live up to what you imagined?  Well, the area does.  It is like stepping into a painting.  Back to my Castle adventure…restaurant is rated as one of the best in the area - Eddie check…the accommodations were rated as some of the best..check.  Covid staffing….ummm…not thinking Cornell or U of H Hotel Motel Management School…when there are only 10 rooms and 3 turret suites (yes, we had a turret room - think Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair), you would think that the desk clerk might know where the room was.  The staff was super nice, but super young and inexperienced…Covid has been hard on the hospitality industry…they all loved hanging around the well equipped Bourbon Bar helping mix and sample drinks.    By the way, Eddie kept remarking that this is not what he imagined…ahh, the King is not happy in his Kentucky Castle.  It is for one night, You will live.  

Wednesday morning arrived-with overcast skies, which gave way to blue skies and cooler temps (low 70’s) as we followed the black fences through Versailles (of course, our castle was in Versailles-this is an Eddie fantasy, right) by Coolmore Farms, homes to 2 Triple Crown winners, and to the enormous campus of Buffalo Trace Distillery on the banks of the Kentucky River.  The line started early for temperature check and mask instructions, but as we had a booked tour (thanks, Vera) we got to cut the line…An Eddie favorite.  While a tour of the distillery is nice, we have learned that it is all about the Gift Shops…cause this is where the good stuff might be.  They will have some bottles of stuff that you can get in Texas, but there are bottles of “distillery only” or “limited” brands.  The line was a buzz…yesterday, in the pouring down rain, visitors were treated to Blanton’s…yes, the pot of gold at the end of the Kentucky rainbow.  But that was Tuesday.  Wednesday it was Taylor small batch…one to a customer, only every 90 days, licenses scanned.  Rats.  The line (because you know there will be a long one)  gadflies had various liquor stores in the area with a bottle of this or that…oooh, more planning.  Buffalo Trace marketing is outstanding-create the buzz, and mystique, then limit supply….they are not part of the “Official” Bourbon Trail-no passport stamp here.  

We spent the afternoon with Woodford Reserve, before driving down the Bluegrass parkway to Bardstown…the cradle of Bourbon distilling.  I decided on accommodations in the Jail….Jailer’s Inn.  The Original jail (202 years old) still exists, with thick concrete walls and iron bars, but the front and side buildings were the jailer’s home and now a bed and breakfast.  Our Jailer, Paul, is a wonderful talkative host.  The rooms are vintage grandmother’s house with hints of White Shoulder dusting powder and dollies on the dressers.  Breakfast is served in the outside patio room with Max the bunny as your floor entertainment.  The bunny at breakfast in a jail…what more could you ask for.  Oh yeah, you know the King….yesterday, after several bourbon tastings, Eddie retired to the bed chamber…for a pre-cocktail hour nap.  Did I mention we are next to a Feed store with an industrial feed grinder?  Wait for it, the grinding station is right out side of our bedroom window.  I thought he was going to levitate off the bed— crown and all—when 100 pounds of feed had to be ground.  Glad they close early.  

Bardstown has followed the boom to bust road of the distillers of Kentucky…the water naturally filtered by limestone, the corn, rye and wheat all Kentucky grown pretty much stay the same but the owners have changed frequently.  The same goes for the shops and restaurants.  The Tavern next door has been serving guests since the late 1780’s remains a constant, but as  We walked the Main Street sad to see that many of the places had closed during covid.  One bright spot was a prohibition style Speak Easy bar for predinner drinks (as if we had not sampled enough)…just had to use your cell phone to get the magic code.  It had over 150 different bourbons…educational and something different.  

Today was more touring of distilleries and passport stamping.  Can I tell you what it is like shopping with two boys in multiple bourbon shops?  Eddie even dressed in red and black for the Maker’s Mark tour….I really think it was an accident, but he looked like he belonged for sure.  We have more gift bags of bourbon  and bourbon merc than we have room for in the  car…perhaps I should leave the 40 pound bag of fly equipment out…

Tomorrow we head south, the Bourbon Trail behind us, Mammoth Cave in front of us.  I am sure that we will stop along the way at every liquor store looking for our unicorn and mermaid bourbons…rumor has it that the Blanton’s allocation has just been distributed.  

PTTSD

 PTTSD

Yeah, you read that right, P-double T-S-D Karen speak for Post Traumatic Toilet Syndrome Disorder.  No need to go to the doctor or consult Dr. Google, I know my symptoms and it is clear that I have an advance case.  What are the recognizable symptoms, you ask?  

City sewer system vs septic tank systems - septic tanks tend to be a tad more fussy of “waste” products and require “microbial feedings” on a regular basis--while power lines are underground here in the woods (think Ice and snow) -sewers tend to be an every man for himself kinda thing. Check

One ply vs two ply - we are Charmin red mega roll folks-strong yet soft, so two ply.  The owner had provided plenty of industrial wrapped one ply, but breakthrough and length of our stay said we would be bring in some of 2020 hoarded mega rolls..as we are discriminating consumers of this necessity.  We have in the past discussed how to load said mega roll of two ply paper-Eddie has ruled we have paper roll forward…read extra sheets used on each visit.  Check

Toto vs Koehler toilets - we are potty snobs.  The Japanese learned how to do the toilet low water tanks - regardless of where it goes, once you go, one flush takes care of business…no charging for the butt hickey.  While Koehler claims you can flush a bunch of golf balls down, they must be using city sewers.  This house has four Koehler with on trend flushing handles, non city sewers… so, check. 

Plunger scavenger hunt  - most rentals have an plunger… one that is appropriate for the style toilet trap…trap being the operative word here.      It is generally located either in the bathroom, or in a highly visible location.  Behind the laundry sink, on the lowest floor,  behind the dryer and not visible when there is a stopped up toilet is not a good place. Check

Shared sewer line with main floor bathrooms (most frequently visited) and master bathroom shower-can you see where this is going?  Yup, you guessed it.  Check

Hand scraped tongue and grooved dark stained floors that serve as the ceiling for the floor below-with attracted cotton chenille fuzzy bathroom floor mats.  Check

Unfinished lower level storage room with Radon equipment, HVAC, tankless water system and the cross cross apple sauce of sewer lines that get lost in the HVAC ductwork…yay!  There are also 10 inter tubes for floating, 8 fabric beach chairs, a set of Carolina Panther cornhole games and some leftover cedar beams.  Check

When last I wrote, we were welcoming Joe to our list of Clue in the Woods characters.  Well, Joe (the plumber/handy man who Lisa had to contact while in the Bahamas) was straight out of central casting.  Mad Eyed Moody from Harry Potter must have been his brother.  His left eye was not original equipment, nor was it in the right place on his face…kinda hard to make eye contact…or take your eye off of-like a mole on someone face.  His dialect was not southern-we speak southern- this was more of Mumbles from Dick Tracy.  He had his Trump Forever red bracelet on along with some heavy duty suspenders as he had nothing in the rear…it was all up front.  To be a handy man, with a major in plumbing, we found it curious that he did not have the normal tools of the trade.  PVC pipe, yes, drain snake or toilet wax ring, not so much.  

We explained that the two main floor toilets would not clear, despite our plunging efforts as  failed to clear the clog, and we could see water (gray water, as it is referred to in the insurance industry) right below the surface of the drain in the slate tiled (read dark, even with light) shower.  Joe mumbled something about helping with the construction of this house, then disappeared downstairs to the unfinished storage room, which now had two 5 gallon-each half full with gray water— buckets under the leaking pipes and elbow joints.  As we sat in the living room, we heard a considerable amount of banging taking place underneath us.  Joe comes up and muttered in elaborate detail something that ends in the word “tampon”…to which I replied, “nope, would not have been me/us…as that ship sailed long ago.”  Back to his truck, then back down stairs, no tools mind up you, more banging, then up the steps and more mumbling and muttering that ended in “rotor router and cell signal”.  “Okay”, I said “there is a landline if you have the number”. He snapped his rubber Trump bracelet and said something about HVAC ductwork, sewer pipe and one more try.  Bang, bang bang….Followed by another go at the plunger, then a housewide “swish” occurred.  Problem solved.  Joe was on his way.  I returned to our bathroom to find the floor, 3 chenille bath mats wet and our slate shower more than just wet—-dripping and  full of wet toilet paper.  Can we get a big ewwww?    Eddie, in true Eddie form crinkled his nose and told me that would have to be cleaned up….you think?  So, guess what I got to do?  I love cleaning up these kinds of messes  and for bonus cleanup, there is the unfinished storage room, 10 floats, assorted beach chairs and cornhole game.  Glad I

I paid a damage deposit on the house, those new gorilla shelves (pressed wood) just might be refreshed/replaced.    

Can you see why I have PTTSD?  I hold my breath each time I shower or flush the toilet.  I have gone to the lower level to go to the bathroom, as Mumbling Joe told us (we think), it is a straight shot to the septic tank, no shared lines, wood floor or fuzzy white rugs,  no elbow joints, land run all the way…and I can put the seat down, lid, too.  Nighttime runs are a little tricker, but better than the alternative…just saying.  I need to get back to sleep without listen for signs of clogged toilets.      So, to circle back and demonstrate how my mind is wired…Eddie leaves the lid/seat up for a good and practical reasons-to make my cleanup less when the toilet overflows.  Our mystery game of Clue, which included the ghost flushing toilet, now might include a tampon….still think my initial guess was correct.  As she, Jalissa, had to be postponed due to the toilet drama on Friday, I will ask on Monday…maybe.  

A Classic Game of Clue-NC Woods Edition

Today, we have an Eddie story wrapped up in a mystery.  I have told you a little about our Cabin by the river…and it’s proud owner, Lisa.  Lisa is a gal after my own OCD heart, everything is where is suppose to be, thanks to her handy label machine.  Lisa and her husband own 6 different properties here In the 3B (Blowing Rock/Boone/Banner Elk) area.  She is/was a realtor that lives in the Charlotte area and collects rental properties like charms on a Pandora bracelet…so pre Covid.    Guess she gets a jump on the diamonds in the rough, or sprinkles her cards around the ‘hood.  This cabin, however, is her pride and joy.  It is located on a road with about 10-15 houses along the riverfront/mountainside…some are clearly rentals, some are the original owners (think 70-80 year olds)…most have a similar exterior log cabin kinda sorta look.  This house was a tear down, build from scratch, with lots of high end features that say residence not rental. While there are bigger and nicer in the area, this is right up there on the better to best scale.    Pride and joy come at a hefty price, weeds out the riff raff of renters.  With a 6 week rental, she “gave” me 2 mid rental period cleanings on her dime,  my heart says “oh, that is so sweet!”  My OCD head says, “she is checking up on her investment.”   Eddie and I just scream riff raff.  

I have always been the hunter and gatherer-labor.  Eddie enjoys the role of Master of the Manor -whether at home or traveling -management.  But we all knew that…just refreshing your memory.  If we do not have an adventure planned, and it is not time for our walk, Eddie is content stitching a stocking, reading a book or watching yet another women’s beach volleyball game on the Olympics.  I prefer watching Snoop Dog and Kevin Hart’s highlight reel on YouTube.  I needed to get out and wander…which can take 2-3 hours based on where I am headed.  Yesterday, was one of those days.  I was up and gone around 11:00…the only car in the driveway was gone.    Eddie, being Eddie, needed a post late breakfast pre walk nap.  The bedroom is equipped with pull down shades that make it a dark cozy room, even on a sunny day.  When I returned around 2:00, his first question was “Did I (Karen) double back to the house?”  Nope.  “Did I lock the front door when I left?” (It has one of those handy digital keyless door locks)  Yup.  I ask “Why?”  “Hmmm, that is strange” responses Eddie. “I could have sworn I heard someone in the house, I heard footsteps (wood floors-creak, creak), a couple of coughs (yikes, covid cooties) and a toilet flush while I was lying down (note, not admitting to a nap, just lying down).”  

We have gathered our list of suspects. 

 Frat boys-2 doors down is a obvious rental.  Around the first of the month, a large paneled yellow rental truck pulls in, out jumps three college guys.  First order of business, the folding beer pogo table, red solo,cups and paddles was set up riverside…priorities.   The truck stayed for a couple of days but has been replaced by a steady flow of college cars.  “You honk, we drink” boldly displayed on their welcome sign.  Could one of them been by to borrow a cup of beer?  While these digital locks are good, the frequently used digits are obvious,  Not sure how often she changes the code.  

Wednesday is trash day.  Love the private contracted trash guy.  Cans are riverside, he comes and takes the garbage out, we just have to get it to the cans.  Eddie has spotted him, he is a wiry old man in a beat up pick up truck.  Knowing Lisa’s type, I am not seeing her giving him the code.  A nice Christmas bonus, but no door code.  

Lisa’s unnamed nephew that lives in the area.  Lisa and her hubby are vacating at Atlantis/Bahama this week..probably courtesy of the Pickle’s hefty rental payment.  She told me her nephew was available for any emergencies.  I suspect he is a student at App State…who knows he might even be friends with frat boys.  He would have the door code…and the keys to the 4 owner’s locked closets.  

Our neighbors next door on the left…Arrived about same time we did and are staying until after Labor Day.  Janette popped over to see if Amazon had misdelivered a package.  FedEx and UPS are regulars on the road.  She commented to Eddie that ours was so much nicer than theirs.. Said that theirs was a dirty rundown dump, with crappy internet. You know what they say, you get what you pay for.    Hmmm…how would she know how nice we were, Eddie had not invited them in for a drink or two..which we all know is so Eddie. The living room windows do not have the handy black out shades.  Peeping Toms?  

Regina and her husband.  These are the 80 year old couple, original owners on the right side of us.  Fairly sure they have the door code written down in big letters by the phone, or some such obvious place.  Not thinking them as suspects as we have watched them garden.  They have a huge pile of mulch in back yard, every day they come out and put one shovelful each into their flower beds.  Flower beds are pretty, lots of purple butterfly bushes.  But the shuffle walk would have not sounded like steps on a wooden floor.  However, their teenage grandson comes occasionally to do things around the house/yard…but not with the mulch.

Yard man and handy man, Mike.  Probably has the door code for handy man issues, but have only seen him weed eat and mow once since we have been here.

Jalissa, the cleaning gal, which conveniently is Mike’s daughter.  She is scheduled for this afternoon, not yesterday.  She would have the door code.  Did she see no car in driveway and decided to get a jump start on today’s cleaning?  

Wild card suspects include the electrician that changed out the two upstairs fans…Lisa hated the remote control only system.  Renters kept taking the remotes home.  He was given the code, but we were here for that.   Or the home appraiser that came by…apparently, Lisa and her husband are refi-ing their 6 pack of houses in a commercial loan and using the equity to buy more properties…or vaca in the Bahamas.  

My money is on Jalissa.  Eddie is creeped out enough that he has taken to hiding his wallet, watch, cell and iPad when we leave the house for our walks.  He reads too any books…Truman Capote, “In Cold Blood” comes to mind.  Stay turned, Eddie wants to put scotch tape on door like they do in the movies to see if someone has been here in our absence.  I know I could text Lisa in the Bahama…but she would send Mike, Jalissa or unnamed nephew to change the code and the cycle would start all over.  So, guess that Eddie won’t be mid day napping while I am gone.  

Just in, there will be a new suspect….Joe the plumber will be here to fix the massive water leak in the downstairs storage room (read septic system issue) ….stay tuned for details.  

Eddie is thrilled…he loves fire drills.

A failure to plan is a plan for failure

Today’s topic gave me a pause…advanced planning or cat skinning.  Not literal cat skinning-although we are in the Appalachian/Blue Ridge Mountains, after all…and several of the local produce stands boast the availability of “Possum Seasoning Hot or Mild”.  Curiosity killing the cat and all, I had to ask if eating possums (seasoned or unseasoned) was a thing here in these parts…it is actually named for Pastor Possum, a Baptist Preacher in these parts.  Apparently, it is his side hustle.  Reading the label it is a blend of the usual suspects-with hot having red pepper.  So, while it might be good on possums, cat and road kill my bet is that it would be dandy on trout, duck, chicken,  beef, pork or tofu.  

Everyone who is invited to read this blog knows that I am a proud member of the OCD/ Advanced Planners Union.  Probably a charter member, if truth be known.  I am nothing if not an advance planner when it comes to just about anything.  Christmas shopping in July-of course!  COVID has really thrown a monkey wrench into my usual well oiled machine.  There are several moving parts to Pickle Travel.  Spontaneous casual travel takes about the same time as an elephant gestational period-Asian variety to plan and execute.  (Go ahead and look it up, I will be here when you get back) I start with a concept and work on the details from there.  This trip had lots of COVID related snafus, but as we all have figured out by now, the return to normalcy is not a straight line.  About 6-7 years BC (before Covid), we determined that we wanted to be gone from Houston in the hottest part of the summer.  Eddie’s dream sequence has us owning a second house in the lower than Rockies Appalachian Mountain area of western North Carolina.  After Harvey and the February freeze, I regard this as a nightmare scenario…so, our negotiated settlement is that we spend every other summer here-and the off summer exploring the Northern parts of ‘Murica.  Glad this was not a “other” year as the heat wave and forest fires in Washington and Oregon were not on our “must see” list.  

As this is our third extended stay here, we no longer feel the need to explore.  We are content with long walks in the woods and streams, sitting on the deck watching the world go by, and going out to eat a couple of times a week.  George and Lauren are both scheduled to come-on American Airlines-gasp! Hope they (American Airlines) get their personnel issues sorted out in the coming week.  L, D & G are still in the explore phase of life…and a Pickle “all inclusive” would just not be the same without some new  adventures.  The grands are still of an age that the magic bar is pretty low-s’mores by the river, River rock collecting and a trip to Tweetsie (a total throw back 1955 amusement park). Drew is easy-fish, fish, fish.  Lauren can be bought with a massage and a couple of extra sets of hands to help with the kids.  George-hmmm, that is a little more complicated.  During Covid he has upped his cooking skills, so that foodie bar is high.  There are three areas within in a 20 mile range that have worthy venues.  Blowing Rock-charming mostly tourists of a certain age (read over 55) with disposal income.  Restaurants get 4.5-5 stars on the Eddie scale.  Boone, home of Appalachian State University, much younger vibe with food options heavy of fried, kale, tempeh and tofu-but there a few diamonds in the dust. 4.0 on the Eddie scale.  Finally, there is Banner Elk-much more kid friendly as there is mountain activities, lots of disposal income and traffic that looks like Kingwood Drive when the high school lets out, a train is on the tracks up front, with a side order of lane closures due to road work.  There are more than a few Yelp 4.5-5 star rated places in the Banner Elk area which is 10 miles away.  This brings me to my OCD chart.  Covid has made restaurants review their business models-days open, shorter hours, take out or no take out which has left a certain “toilet paper hoarding” feel when it comes to getting restaurants reservations.  I had to make a chart to determine which days-some are only open 4 days, some 5, some 7, closing days vary- hours start early-all Luby like at 4:30 and end 8:00 early, some you have to call and leave a message, some through Resy, some Open Table, some are no reservations taken.  My personal favorite reservation hassle is Eddie’s favorite place when we are here-you must call (good luck with that in the mountains if you have Verizon, as this is AT&T country) at 12:00 exactly two weeks before your requested day…after 3 weeks of daily noon phone calls, we have yet to even talk to a live person…the food just ain’t that good in my book. You can pretty much forget that “Hey, let’s pop out for dinner, tonight”…we are eating a lot of BLT’s…or pimento cheese sandwiches (it is a big thing here)  when spontaneous meets no tables available.  

To further entice George to join us, I planned a trip back home via the Kentucky Bourbon Trail and New Orleans.  They don’t call NOLA the Big Easy for nothing.  15 minutes start to finish, all reservations and activities booked, paid for and calendared…with flexible cancellations policies.  PBoom.  After all, who goes to NOLA in early September-heat, humidity and the possibility of weather related drama.  I understand we will again be wearing our fashionable masks…unless we aren’t.  The Bourbon Trail is another story all together.  When we first came to NC, Bourbon had not been discovered by the 30 somethings.  At House Pickle, we never undiscovered it.  While we have matured from our early bourbon drinking-think bourbon and coke in the football stadium in college.  The smell of bourbon wafting through the stands just says “are you ready for some SEC football”.  Apparently,  OU and UT want to be part of the true football experience..2025.  And to think they laughed at A&M for leaving the Big 12, or whatever it was named before.  Liquor in NC is State run stores-ABC stores and they are few and far between.  On our first trip, I stumbled (physically) into the display cases (yes, cases) of this Bourbon with the little horse figure on top.  Thought that was a stupid marketing gimmick and picked up my regular Bottle of Crown and left.    Fast forward, Blanton and the little horsey top is now the Unicorn among Bourbon snobs.  Yeah, went back this year-same store only gets 6 bottles every two months.  Well played Sazerac Company.  When Bourbon fell out of favor in the 1990-2000, lots of old standards were gobbled up by large corporations….marketing, supply and demand, and scarcity has made Buffalo Trace (owned by the Sazerac Corporation) home to what amounts to the hottest brands out there.  So, of course, no Bourbon Trail tour  would be complete without a Tour of Buffalo Trace-the Old Taylor Tour, if you please.  Remember, I started this 650 days ago (Asian elephant gestation).  Markers Mark, Woodford, Willett, Four Roses check, check, check…not all in one day, but I am the designated driver, so, all is good.  Buffalo Trace-holy Buffalo, if I thought NC restaurants were tough-this is one for the ages.  There are numerous tours at different facilities and multiple times of day and night (pre covid).  There is a maximum 20 people per tour due to Covid protocols, but only 17 slots publicly available.  The gift shop and visitor center is open to people who do not have a booked confirmed reservation, but you might have to wait up to one hour outside to come in and no tasting will be permitted.  Good grief, it is easier to get an audience with Pope Francis and I understand he serves wine.  Early on (like February) when the country started to emerge from the covid caves, I attempted to book.  Nope, dates had not opened, when I checked back, dates seemed to come up,only two months out, but when?  I started a light hearted email communication with the front office of BF.  Vera and I become email pals.  She explained that the slots come open on the first Tuesday of the month for the upcoming month (August for September) at 9:00 in the morning.  Well, on Tuesday, August 3rd, at 8:30, I logged in to attempt to get one of the coveted September 1st, 11:30 Old Taylor Tour slots.    My number in line was #412, then it was #762, and by 9:00 it was #3623-say what?   My understanding from my Vera notes was that there were no ticket brokers, tour guides, etc allowed to obtained tickets or slots or bots.  So, why was I losing ground?  At 10:30, my unfreshed browser said I was #1512 and would have 5 minutes to complete my transaction.  Seriously.  I decided to “reach out” to my email pen pal, Vera, and ask her if I was just stupid or was there a technical reason…I will spare you the flowery sugary language.  BOOM, within in the 5 minutes it took to receive an response from Vera, I was at #1790, but had secured the 3 tickets on September 1st-Covid Karen style.  Like I said, more than one way to skin a cat….with or without Possum Seasoning.  

Weather report from somewhere in the Blue Ridge Mountains - clear blue skies, slight breeze, low humidity and temps in low 70’s.  

On your southern watch list of things to be on look out for (as all good things originate in the South)—-BOGG bags - think Croc bags for the beach-and like Crocs, accept no substitutes, Enewton jewelry for your teen-young adults that aren’t into the size of Kendra Scott, and Ingram’s Bourbon 94 rated, only available in Kentucky and Tennessee and a limited number of mail order states…not Texas.  

Skinny Dippin’ after Midnight

Made you look didn’t I?  A little bit about where we are staying in the North Carolina Mountains.  In our previous stays we have been located closer to the Blue Ridge Parkway and Blowing Rock.  Southern Living charm,  Instagram worth scenery and hip elevated cuisine abound.  Thinking chickpea fries with lemon saffron aioli,  Blackberry brambles and Korean Pork Belly Tacos with Heritage pork…not your typical fried chicken and greens.    Note, I did not say a thing about fly fishing waters.  While there are fishable waters close by, the whispers of the Watagua are 30-40 minutes away…on a good day.  So, the fish whisperer’s wife (Lauren) requested that we locate a place either on or with fishing rights to Watagua-cause nothing says Momma vaca like being with your three kiddos while the fish whisperer’s is out all day having meaningful conversations with various trout species.

After much looking we rented a lovely 2 year old home on the banks of the Watagua in Valle Crus, a mere five minutes from Mast General Store.  Mast General has been around since the late 1890’s selling a little bit of everything, outdoor gear,  gas, candy, soda pop in bottles.  The kids remember the candy barrels.  As Eddie’s childhood memories include a country store, the pot bellied stove, checker board-candy and bottled sodas, he is in charge of that field trip with the kids.  Kids are pretty excited about both Mast and Eddie being in charge.  They learn so quickly.  

The exterior dark wood and stone is repeated on the three floors.  Farmhouse meets lake house decor, with lots of on trend lighting (Edison lightbulbs)  that all point up….love the look,  but not practical if you need to do anything except spot spider webs on the ceiling.    The key word is dark.  Cozy, yes, shaded, yes, hard to see with all the lights on, yes…especially when you are of a certain age. The walk to the river and the stone fire pit are pretty level and easy.  IPhone gives you a handy flashlight app for that.  The ingress to the actual River, as I mentioned, is not as clean and clear.  The depth of the water in the three house on either side of us is probably only 18” deep-at the deepest…3-4 feet closer to the bridge.  So, that brings me to skinny dipping.

When did we start name all the full moons…July 23rd was the Buck Moon..I only remember Harvest Moons growing up.  Okay, I’ll bite.   Buck moon is when the male deer start showing their antler growth.  Well, we are post full, not to new moon (Sturgeon moon August for you moonie loonies), so moonlight is not that bright either.  Perfect conditions for skinny dipping.  Last night, around midnight, the house was dark, blackout blinds drawn, no moonlight to illuminate my way.  With my bare feet leading the way, I left the warmth of our bed.  After more than two weeks, I knew the way…I heard the floor creak with my progress.  Then, splash! my naked butt was wet…I am awake!    Yes, Eddie had again left the toilet seat up.  For 45 years, I have worked on this issue, but have given up and just remember to check. Except for when I don’t remember.    Others have tried, right Deb?  The lawyer responds simply, “Do I get upset when you don’t put it up for me?”  Wonder of Mast sells nightlights?  Perhaps some brain bleach-since you all have mental pictures than need to be erased.

Today’s conversation starter is-seat up or down?  As we are on Septic tank here, with the number of snakes in water and woods found here(no, I have not seen any), the better question might be-Lid up or down?

The Long and Winding Road

🎶The long and winding road, that leads, to your door…will never disappear, I have seen that road before…it always leads me here, lead me to your door.🎶

Yeah, like Beatle Paul yearning for the B842 in Scotland, we followed our hearts up the long and winding 194, 105, 321-to name a few— to again trade the sauna/steam bath weather of Houston’s summers for the mountain air of North Carolina.  Kinda like the Colorado thing, only lower altitudes, and less maintained two lane curvy highways.  

Believe it or not we have been gone from Houston for over two weeks…but whether it is spending so much “together time” during covid or there was something in my Covid cootie shot—-could  I have become immune, there have been almost no Eddie stories worth mentioning to this point.  Gaffe free?  How could this be?  You know what they say, two make one, and after 45 years….It must have been something in the shot…I am not seeing anything.  

So, I guess I will just have to make you green with envy as it is currently 59 degrees on the covered deck, over looking the Watauga River (read: fly fishing Mecca) with the sun trying to burn off the forest haze.  See previous post for lessons on why they call this the Blue Ridge Mountains—-that would be “What are terpenes?, Alex”.  Yeah, I know there is the smoke from the western forest fires, pollution from fossil fuels, but this haze started long before that…promise.  The water is cool and crisp, even at the end of a warm (81 is a heat wave) day, with a clear rock bottom, that is walkable if you are a young goat-my water shoes are not thick enough to scamper across the rocks.  By the way, scamper and Karen are not used in the same sentence-not even if there was a snake involved.  I am not as sure footed as I use to be.  Eddie has spent most of the “River time” not fly fishing with the 40 pound duffle of equipment (to include the expensive River boots-more about that in a minute), but either laughing at my water bound  grace and agility or preparing to call 911.  I have forbidden 🚫 photos. 

In preparing for this journey, we realized that we have forgot how to pack!  After all the cruises and traveling we have done over the years, we had mastered the art of one large and one small for 4-6 weeks of traveling.  The one small was our carry on as we all have heard stories of folks that lose their luggage on a trip and are caught with only one pair of underwear that had to be washed nightly in the bathroom sink for the duration of the trip.  I am a southern raised girl. We know that it is a sin to have ratty undies, in case there is an accident and you have to go to the hospital—-amazing what childhood lessons stick with you.  So, Eddie and I are a pair and two spares packers…it takes time for undies our sizes to dry.  While we are sheltering in place for 6 weeks in North C-with a washer and dryer, mind you- the trip is bookended  with a few side trips—to include the Kentucky Bourbon Trail and New Orleans, so one large and one small evolved in to two, two, and two duffles, a plastic bin and a couple of Piggly Wiggly bags.  If you are from the Deep South, paper grocery sacks-not these flimsy plastic bags they give you now— were a part of car trips…and Piggly Wiggly-affectionately call the “Pig” was the “HEB” of the Deep South.  It was the designer tag of choice for disposal luggage.  No car trip was complete without at least two bags filled with “just in case” items that did not make the suitcases.  

Eddie is a creature of comfort—-just in case you did not know.  He has certain requirements.  He considers them basic or bare minimums.  For example, when determining which Property to rent this summer-besides AC, king bed, River access, the house had to have 5.0 internet, cable TV - hey, it is the 2020/2021 Not Fun Olympics from Tokyo, and because of the time difference, you can watch all 7,000 hours of coverage, and  comfortable seating-which is code for a recliner.  In fact, when we were looking if there was a place that met the basic list, but had no recliner, Eddie announced he would just buy one, then donate it before we left.  😳..which brings me to the 40 pound fly fishing gear duffle….not to be confused with the 20 pound hardback book Pig bag, or the  2-15 pound dumbbells for working outs.  You think I made that last one up-nope..they came naked, the Pig bags are strong, but not that strong.  They say new habits take hold within 21 days…we will be here for at least 21 days…soooo.    Eddie is a collector…see part about books, shop tools, piano music, foreign language books, college textbooks, cooking and grilling books .  When Eddie embarks on a new hobby or interest, he first researches the subject online, which usually results in 5-15 pounds of books on said subject-thanks Amazon-being delivered to our door step.  After a few days of study and list making, there is a frenzy of point and click activity-as Eddie enjoys the hunt of all things from the comfort of his recliner.  Once all the packages and books arrive, storage/carriers are acquired, devised or built.  A new hobby has hatched in Eddie’s world.  Fly fishing is/was no exception.  I fish…River, lake, ocean, I fish.   I have some of the same stuff (to include tackle box)I have had for over 55 years…to include a 70 year old fly reel.    It works-it catches fish, it lives in the outdoor box beside the raised patio/driveway side-with the dirt dobbers, spider webs, and extra garden hose.  Now, Eddie…he may not fish more than two days a year, but he looks the part of a Orvis calendar boy…must have been the night at Holiday Inn Express (YouTube the commercial if you don’t use Cable TV)   He is sporting all of the best equipment, down to his towel and underwear—-not part of small bag underwear.  It is all stored inside our bedroom cabinet, so that it will not mix with the elements of nature.  After traveling two years ago with the footlocker sized tackle box, I purchased and insisted he reduce his actual gear to an insulated lunch box sized tackle bag.  After much huffing and sorting, he had down sized his tackle gear, the rod, reel, heavy ass boots with spikes on the bottom (he won’t fall in the stream) , Batman utility fishing vest-(all filled and dangling from two years ago), and fish friendly fishing net were packed into the rolling duffle.  Remember the part about Kentucky bourbon trail and New Orleans-that and the two, two and two will be joining us in our hotel rooms nightly…we might leave the Pig bags and 2-15 dumbbells in the car.  

Will let you know if we catch anything, fall in the river-with non ratty underwear as I am sure there will be a hospital visit involved,  or find wildlife or other cars in a blind curve on our long and winding roads here in North Carolina.