Monday, March 30, 2020

Going Old School

News Flash:  Eddie is on to us...someone let it slip that my writings/musings/blogging are not exactly private.  He knows that I have written travel journals for 20 years.  When we started traveling more as we became empty nesters, I had several hard covered written journals--more about where we had been (so I could remember what my pictures were of), who we had met (names and impressions) and general musings.  I always am up early, I could take my journal and go find a quiet place for coffee and writing time.  As technology changed, and most my pictures on my phone became self-identifying (love that feature), I began making entries in the "Notes" or "Pages" Apps on my iPad..they became a little more "bloggy", but not widely shared..only a very select few got my musings...but they were being shared among friends, with the "don't tell or share with" Eddie.  For those of you that haven't read my 2012 blogs, Eddie is an English teacher in lawyer's clothing with a love of proper grammar, sentence structure, spelling and proofreading---none of which are here in these pages.  He has asked plenty of times over the years to read my musings...but I have always resisted...I know what will happen...he has been correcting my writings before there were computer word processing programs...1976.  So, when he came home from what he swears is his last golf game until this Corona Crisis is over, he said "they really enjoy your blog".  Unlike the internet "they" I know who "they" are.  With a little smile and hopeful look, he said, "I guess I still can't see them, right".  "Nope", I responded.  I have been down this red ink road before...so, if all of a sudden you observe good grammar, spelling and a "voice" that doesn't sound like me...you will understand what has happened.  Look for really big words, or even words like "amid" to start showing up.  After CoVid19, Corona Virus, the word "Amid" was getting a high google count---journalists have been using it a lot lately. Obviously, that word was not learned when folks were assigned to memorize the list of prepositions in 8th grade.  Oops, my high risk age is showing, I guess they don’t do that anymore.

In the frenzy to be prepared for a possible severe case of the virus, I have been thinking to myself, what would my mother, or her mother have done or do right now to prepare. With no drugs currently available to fight this, we have to go old school.   First, my grandmother would have someone go to the liquor store and purchase a bottle of "Rock and Rye".  My grandmother was a total tea totaler, never drank, but when she felt herself coming down with a cold or the flu, she would take a jigger of Rock and Rye with lemon before bed.  Rye is, of course, rye whiskey, the rock is the stick of rock candy that was in the bottle.  I remember seeing that bottle (with the stick of rock candy) in our home when my grandmother came to live with us in the early 60's.  I have lots of whiskey-rye, scotch, Irish, jack Daniels, Japanese (yes, they make a fine whiskey), Canadian, Kentucky.  Rock Candy-that is a Cracker Barrel thing.  With the isolation orders, the thought of popping into Cracker Barrel for a Rock Candy has danger written all over if-I think I can substitute Raw sugar or honey for the Rock Candy. Lemon or orange peels, scrubbed within an inch of their lives.  Check, I can follow that old school home spun remedy.  Is one jigger enough, for medicinal purposes only, of course?

Last, but certainly not least is the Onion Poultice combined with a rub down in warm Camphor Oil.  Growing up, if original Vick Vapor Rub (is it not as good as it use to be--too many lawsuits from folks sticking the strong stuff up their noses---see Product liability lawsuits-Eddie 101), or the vaporizer that could turn a room into a vapor rub hot house dripping with steam.  For those really stubborn coughs, Mom would heat on the stove (this is the stone age-no microwaves) some camphorated oil and rub on your chest and back...as you held the thermometer under you tongue while she slowly counted to 100.  Fast forward to her last 15 or so years.  She had suffered from lung issues that had progressed, and she would normally stay indoors in Alabama from November until April to avoid getting anything....social and seasonal allergy distancing.    The year her husband died, I was with her during one of the tough bouts.  She decided that I need to make an onion poultice and put it on her to take the fluid out of her lungs.  She claimed that and Mustard Plasters where the thing that her mother used...probably a 1918 pandemic home remedy.    Okay, I bite, what is an onion poultice?  I was instructed to take 4 pieces of flannel and sew them into two 12 x 12 bags with one partially opened side.  I was then to retrieve an old oil cloth tablecloth from its outside storage place (it was a plaid tablecloth that had been used for picnics and painting projects---but put up clean--as was my mother's way).  I was then to go get the heavy Pendleton wool striped blanket from the blanket closet. The remaining childhood beach towels from the bathroom closet were next on the list.   Next, take 3 lbs of onion and slice them, separate the rings and take her largest fried pan with  combo of camphorated oil and cooking  (not partial hydrogenated, thank you very much) oil and sweat down the onions.  Well, do you know how long it takes to sweat down 3 lbs of onions so they are limp and not caramelized?  It is a long slow process.  Long enough for me to go to the other end of the house and call my sister in Arizona and ask her what she thought....first, there was "I am glad it is you and not me" then there was a snarky comment about witch doctoring....not much help there.  I rarely told my "older" mom no, guess I was trying to make up for the years I said “no” growing up.  So, one triple layer wrapped onion human burrito coming up.  From dusk till dawn, I watched Mom from the love seat in her bedroom.   I would regularly mop the sweat from her face with a tepid damp rag, so as not to give her a chill.  I watched her chest raise and fall with every rattled and labored breath.  I was frankly afraid to fall asleep, for fear she would stop breathing.  It was a long night...my mind kept wandering to how I was going to explain this to the EMS workers when they would arrive...because I was sure how this would end.  A 80 something year old lady, bound in a triple wrap smelling of onions and camphorated oil.  Not sure if they would have taken me to jail or to the loony bin.  As the sun came up, her fever had broken as had her labored breathing.  I cleaned up the evidence...I mean mess...while she showered.  She ate for the first times in days...she had indeed turned the corner.  Shortly after that she moved to Arizona and the dry air prevented her from too many lung episodes...I can only remember one or two occasions when I was called up for the onion poultice...it worked every time.  So, I guess you will be adding onions to you H-E-B order, as a make sure.  Newer twists to this exist on internet/Dr. Google Witch Doctor edition.  I could tell you how it works but why spoil the fun...cause what are you doing anyway.

Speaking of old becoming new...blood transfusions of a recovered 1918 Spanish flu survivors were commonly used on people with the flu...there were no drugs to treat it...doubtful there were ventilator issues either... a 1940 creation.  The FDA approved Houston Methodist Hospital (not just practicing but leading medicine..as the ad says)  trial of plasma transfusions from Covid19 recovered patients.    As this kinda sorta falls under experimental, who pays for this?  Betcha it is not covered in the in or out of network plans that we have.  Wondering if Eddie will go out of network to Methodist or submit to the onion poultice...what old is new...






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