Vicky & Wally

Today, as I sit awaiting the completion of my LAST chemo treatment, I thought I would tell you a story...of Vicky & Wally...this is certainly not a love story, it is more reality TV...Pickle style. 30-40 years ago, young ladies, women, and girls in general did not share their undergarment purchases...with anyone other than family/husband or occassional Doctor or oooo, blush, a lover. These items were foundations...not objects du art that required bank loans or are on full display with various skimp outfits. In my price range the fancy of panties, bra and slips (yes, we wore slips..full slips that matches our bra, panties and garter belt..which pre-dated panty hose, but I understand and has made a comeback---no thanks) were the Vanity Fair collection....I, in fact, still have the ensemble that I wore leaving on my honeymoon. Only wished it still fit. I guess that I stuck with my matchy, matchy sets of underwire bras/undies from VF until after my second child was born....to this day, I know it was the fancy panties that got me into a second pregnancy so quickly after the first. By that time the "girls" had added several letters to their alphabet and my cleavage started right under my chin. The final straw was when the underwire would poke out, work its way out of the bra and magically appear from the top of my shirt. Changes were coming...maybe even a hint of thing to come, lifetime of boobie issues. I think they call that foreshadowing... Anyway, two kids in diapers, one income, new house, a new car...on the budget line item, matchy matchy would have to be scratched for the more practical...foundations purchase. Kmart, WalMart (Wally) --- multi pack panties, no lace here, and bras in a box-- Playtex (living, as they were known) which came with large enough numbers, high enough multi letters and no wire to poke the crap out of me when I was holding two kiddos. Matchy matchy would be special, not,everyday. That and a little snip, snip for Eddie, assured us of no more panties surprises. I would treat myself and Eddie to at least a couple of sets of matchy matchy fancy sets, but day in day out---Wally was my go to. Fast forward to the present...or at least the last 5-10 years....Victoria Secret, Soma, and a whole range of pricey undergarments that I did not know existed until I stumbled upon the on the Internet or in NYC...wow, I could go broke putting fancy threads over my fat butt. Our budgets have changed...no kids in diapers or college, or needing their own underwear...so I could splurge. I would stick my toe in the pool on occasion and shop at Vicky...here again alphabet and letter issues, and underwire, too. So, I would return to my friend, Wally, with an side trip for vacas to Macy's (with a coupon--old habits never die). After the second surgery, I had been instructed to purchase supportive sports bras for the first six months, while the girls settled into a more normal position. Thank goodness there was a warning label in that...they were high ..a normal bra would have been right under my chin.... Well it is 4.5 months, so I beginning to get the itch for some new undies. However, I will say, I have enjoyed the sport bras phase...I now see why women love them, never got it when the girls were so big, it,just did not do the job. After redecoration of the mantle, encouraged by my mom's and sister's gift certificate for Soma, I have spent a week (in my spare time...when not being Flo-ren) previewing what it would be like to have bras in sizes that didn't look like car tags numbers/letters. Ahhh, fantasy vs reality can be so cruel. Silly me, the front had changed, the back had not. One thing about the bigger bras, the back is bigger, and smoothed the lumps and humps back there. Guess I never fully appreciated that aspect of 6-9 hooked bras with 2.5 inch straps...I just,saw to ruts in my shoulders, pain in my neck and mid back....traded that all in for Much more manageable girls, but had no idea they were covering for a jelly belly and back muffin top. While the jelly belly is one of the chemo side effects...really...they call it something more clinical like fat building due increase cortisol levels and the triggers of said cortisol by the T & C therapy..great another thing that makes me look bigger. I have a sneaking suspicion that this side effect will hang on longer than the treatments...just a guess, seeing how reality is a cruel mistress and all. Let's shop...I started at the top, for my budget (hey, I told you I am cheap) and did Victoria Secrets...more of the back of the store items, not the front, hot patterns, colors, or words like PINK on my fat butt...that would be no. Even had a coupon. Told you pink flamingos was my signature wearing of the pink/ribbon move. No sale, with pouty lip(read dejected) I left without a cute pink bag with tissue wrapped garments. On to Soma, repeat of day with Vicky, more pouty, more grumpy. I contiuned my journey from store to store..speciality and department, on hot Texas days...my mood became worse, no purchases or even possibles for my list after six months, which I have now been informed will be until September, since radiation can make things change, too. Yeah, yet another breast cancer item to be survived. So, Please wait before committing resources to the new undergarments. Sadly, I have come to the realization, that except for vaca/date wear, me and Wally will be going steady for the coming years. Some times, reality bites. On the positive note of the day, the last flamingo will be placed in the yard this afternoon. Had to hide it, Ed and George have become so interested in the flocking that they have tried to help me by offering to put it out for me. To which they draw back a nub, this is my victory...period. Additonally, with Eddie's second knee, a driving knee, he could not be part of today's victory dance and bell ringing (that the reward MDAnderson gives your for surviving the chemo). Deb picked me you and has driven me to to my the appointment time...which as we have learned is merely a suggestion. Luckily, they have started a new procedure here...it starts with communication and ends with a better time management program in the infusion clinc...so we,should be home before 3:00 this afternoon. I would like to say my "words of wisdom/input" has helped in their procedural changes (Hey, once a Type A organizer, always a Type A...we like the control stick, too) It has been a journey...it does change you, but not in a bad way...it does make you more mindful of your blessings, more forgiving of others faults (cause you let go of the small and petty things), and you treasure the things that matter most...family, friends and health. As I turn this corner, into the final lap...6 weeks radiation and putting my flamingos back in the box at the end of every week...there is a light at the end of the tunnel...remember you can do anything for 90 days, don't try and eat the elephant all at once, and keep a positive attitude. Wing salute! Please forgive any errors, IPAD is not the greatest for blogs and spell check...there is probably an app for that but I haven't have time to look.