Ed is a big Charles Dickens fan...told you he was a book geek..so this is a Pickle Spin on the Dickens' classic A Christmas Carole..you remember the one were Ebenezer is visited by Jacob Marley and a gang of ghosts...well, our story is the ghosts that visit after every chemotherapy treatment. Can I get a "Bah, Humbug"? My mother has long said that as you age, you are revisited by illnesses, injuries and weaknesses of your body's past. After three rounds of chemo, I would say the ghosts of my medical past have revisited me--it is as if the chemo knows your medical history and seeks outs those weak links to exploit. Ahh, the price you pay for misspent youth.
On my first visitation (chemo treatment)--the ghost of Neulasta, I was greeted by all my old back, hip (structural issues) and joint issues, with a side order of tooth and foot problems. Good grief---I have spent a lifetime learning how to care for these back and body problems, without out massive doses of drugs or surgical intervention. Do I hear an "Ommmm-lotus position"? I don't wear cute shoes---nothing about them are cute--they are practical, borderline homely--can't stand foot pain. I have forsaken stilettos, strappy sandals, and ballet flats, for shoes with structural integrity (read: big and boaty-ugly), I drew the line at shoe inserts and night splints, but have had the torturous steroid shot in the bottom of my foot more than a few times (#7 on my all time most painful medical treatment)---just so my plantar fascitis would stay away. Same for tooth issues--in my childhood I had some pretty serious accidents with diving boards that resulted in tooth issues/repairs/braces. And how am I repaid---with a visit from the ghost---not a pretty Disney style one but more of the ugly night of the living dead one....guess that is why I lost my hair.
My second visitation was more of a chorus of ghosts, none real frightening or overly painful, just a presence that you are aware---it is your body trying to do damage control over the poisoning that is taking place. As you lie still at night, (yeah, after midnight, with your idle hands) you can feel/hear everything--like an alien movie. These ghosts invite the Neulasta ghost back to party. Couple of days of 24/7 partying with the ghosts, the fatigue factor sets in. I've been tired before, but nothing like this...the ghosts are trashing the place, my blood work looks like a Keno board in Vegas--red and black numbers all lit up.
After my most recent visitation, a real ugly ghost from my past has resurfaced. This one has been there since the first night of treatment, but I brushed it off as a chemo headache. After 11 weeks, I still have it. I was concerned, since I have had this headache before---it almost robbed me of eyesight when the kids were small. Parts of the treatment still ranks #1 on my all time most painful medical treatments...don't even ask. I asked my Onco Doctor before my treatments if this was going to be a problem....after I explained what the condition was. Yikes! Since it wasn't his 10 inches of my body, he didn't know. Double Yikes! Hello, research, phone a Doctor friend.... So, I decided after my third, sixth and completion of radiation I would again call my own plays, and go to Eye Doctor. Did that, I was right, chemo is a little bit of a problem for my optic nerves. He increased a medication I have taken for 25 years in small dose, to a 7x larger dose---great, new ghost friends. He also suggested I see the Wizard of Tang (Dr. Rosa Tang - Neuro Opthamologist) (Have been seeing her for this problem since she was just a Dr.--she is now an MD, MPH, MBA and any other letters you want to add behind her name---talk about not having idle hands) ---my personal Ghostbuster...4 hours and 6-10 tests later (her appointment train runs on time, to the minute---she said it would take 4 hours) Best test of the day was the brain wave, eye response one--my brain responses extremely quickly (like a 40 year old the cute little tech said) to little red strings on moving checker boards--woohoo! Ghosts in the house, but brain still works ---go team! Made my Monday for sure. Before I ever got home she had contacted Onco Doctor and discussed changing my medications---would love if she said I had to stop after 4 (typical conservative) treatments instead of the more aggressive 6. But I will have to wait until Friday to see how many more visits of ghosts I will have to endure. Stay tune for more ghostly updates.
While I am hoping for an early Christmas, I will close with the words of Tiny Tim, "God bless us, everyone."
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