For today's journey, I have chosen a trip in the WABAC machine with Mr. Peabody and Sherman as our mode of transportation. If you are not a Rocky and Bullwinkle fan, perhaps Google or Wiki can give you a hand. Since most of you that read my silliness are of that certain vulnerable age you will understand my references of both of those and to the trip back to the political incorrect time of the late 1960-70's...I know the Stone Age. We are talking about the yahoos (before there was a capitalized "Y" in Yahoo) on Hee Haw...four country boys on hay bales sings the sad song of Gloom, Despair, Agony on Me...Deep Dark Depression, excessive Misery, if it weren't for bad luck I have no luck at all....Gloom, Despair, Agony on me....you can sing along...Grab your overalls and jug. This current Pandemic just drags on and seems to drag all of our plans, thoughts and dreams right along with it... So, instead of Patriotic tunes, we are singin' the blues.
As Camp A had a Covid Cutie during the first week of operation, Lauren and family have been self quarantining on site to prevent sharing with us old people. On Friday the 3rd, they were 7 days from completing this new 2 week cycle of self quarantining. With their 5 and our 2 plus George, we are at 8 people for a safe gathering number. We have had them here for years, pool, Skippy, fishing, fireworks, and lots of food. The number has ranged from 8 to 20 depending on the additional extended family members that come along. This year, it would be quiet party of 3. We would carry on, pool, bbq, Skippy and fireworks....but it is not quite the same. Gloom, Despair, Agony on me...
During last week, we had the shop garage officially tricked out with true air conditioning. The summer months, which here extends from April/May to October and sometimes into November, his shop is unusable. For the 14 years since we have been here, acquiring more toys, it would appear on the Eddie List of things to do. We would have various people out to pitch us on their solution to our problem...none of them sounded good or reasonably priced. During Ike, we had a window unit that we used in our Master (oops, we are not suppose to refer to it as a Master Bedroom these days...so we will call it the big sleeping room downstairs as Owner's suite is probably on the bad list, too) Bedroom for the 16 days without AC. Those 16 days led us to acquiring the whole house generator...hang on to that little fact. Post Ike we considered the window AC as a possible shop solution, too noisy on patio, eye sore for sure hanging out the patio window to the garage and not "allowed" according to our Home Owner regs. And we are such rule obeyers. Bottom line, Eddie could not go ghetto on the window unit... So, a very large fan was acquired from Home Depot....blew crap and warm air everywhere, but it was still hot. So, it could only be used infrequently. The Spring before Harvey, we acquired a penguin AC. For those not familiar with my Pickle Lexicon of terms, that is the portable free standing AC unit that can be moved from room to room. The fine print will tell you that you have to have outside ducting through a window....but the pictures don't. Eddie constructed and painted a window duct system that would allow air out, no critters in and be pleasing to the eye and ear if you were on the patio. Wasn't great, but it would do. The hand washing of the foam filter to prevent issues ended up being a pink job, so I was not crazy about the entire thing...but it was a step in the right direction. Post Harvey---it took on water, so the Penguin was no more. We had not pursued a solution since then. As we don't have lots on our plate these days, Eddie's list was brought out and reviewed....since the dock stuff was now completed. Hmmm, Shop AC, Ed said he was ready to do something with that. I put it on my list...10 days later we are sitting with new central Air and Heating, and a full insulated attic. Do not mess with me when I have a task or items on the list...it will get done, at a reasonable price, by a properly vetted company. Boom.
All was well, until Friday afternoon. Eddie decided to get into our pool which is kept at a lovely 85 degrees during hot summer months with a Heat/Cool system...post Harvey Upgrade to the unit that chilled the water and threw up water in the side yard in equal measure. Eddie doesn't do cheap and technology caught up with his desires post Harvey. Another little 220 fact to hang onto as we tell our story. Eddie puts up the umbrellas and jumps in...and immediate comes out and back into the house squawking and dripping about the Cooling system. He figured that the system had been taken off line when the AC system was added to the breaker box. Let's review so we don't lose track---we now have 3 AC units, one chiller unit, a designated 220 circuit in the shop for toys, the 220's on the boat dock for those toys, and assorted regular 220s in the house for the stoves and ovens....we have a gas dryer, so no 220 dryer connection...we are so Green... Hmm. While he is attempting to bring the chiller back on line, I notice the house is a little warm...like 80 degrees and you know Eddie, 72 is considered the minimum accepted summer temp indoor. Yes, we pay for the privilege, but a hot Eddie is not a happy Eddie. Hmm. To the breaker box, Batman. The previously pleasant 80 degree shop is now 92....home to the breaker box. Eddie starts flipping circuits breakers, has me checking all the GFI and Arc breakers switches...I so love a Friday afternoon fire drill!!!! So, half the house is down, the other half (mostly the 110 lines) are all operational...the switch game resulted in the sub woofer making large clopping noises and the freestanding 110 volt ice maker having a wetting (no ice and drainage) problem. It is now 6:00 PM Friday before the 4th of July on a very warm day in Houston. Excellent. Phone calls were made to the AC installation company. Hmm. I reminded Ed that when we lived on Tree Lane, we experienced a similar outage. Half the trunk line---also called phase, leg, etc. by the "electrical professionals". They love a good "phase outage" it is like digging for gold, as a new trunk has to be attached to the utility post/pole and routed to your home via a hand dug trench or shot under concrete. Yikes! We called the electrical bubba (our AC contractor referral) and he confirmed our suspicions and told us to call Center Point, as they would give us a temporary line until electric bubba could come dig for gold in our yard. I worked the Center Point route, and at 10:00 PM, Center Point, sans mask, gloves and hand sanitizer arrived to fix the problem. Eddie sprang into action opening the shop (16 foot garage door---the big one) so CP could examine the breaker box and the things inside the shop. BOING! That would be the large spring on the garage door breaking in half. Folks, I can't make this stuff up! 15 minutes later, with limited social distancing on Eddie's part, the diagnosis was in, the Generator relay switch was out and was blocking the 220 power leg from getting to the box. This will be a morning call, and a double overtime call on a holiday to our Generator people-that are based in Conroe. Remember the big fan that blow crap everywhere, they come in handy still...warm but not totally unbearable night in our big sleeping room downstairs.
An early morning call to our generator switch board said the "on duty" technician would contact us. An hour later, he called a mentioned the price for service on a holiday without a service contract. Okay, we will sign up for the service contract, just get out here and fix the problem. Of course, Eddie doesn't do a Ken or Karen, but a Smooth Eddie and once he explained the problem, Josh asked Eddie to perform some trouble shooting. Josh did not want to come to Kingwood/Humble on his day off...even at the price quoted. Eddie did as asked, with live 220 and 110 legs coming into the house. The results was an early fireworks display...in the switching box. Nope, you are going to have to come this way, Josh, the box is on fire. Josh said he would need to call the owner as this was above his pay grade...which part, Josh, the fire or the repair? At 11:30 AM Josh and the owner arrived in two trucks, two hours later, problem solved, all the toys are back online. Eddie inquired about the relay---as it was now 12 years old, they do go out...the addition of the new AC probably added stress to the 220 leg and it broke. Yeah, all 220 toys of Eddie's are all operational... House cooled down by dinner time. However, the ice maker and subwoofer are still on the TBD/wounded list. Before you ask, we have known that a trunk line or outside box issue is on our dime (Been here, done that --- no lesson learned before goes unused, as my mother would say) , but the fire in the relay box, subwoofer and ice maker are usually covered by homeowners. So, we will only be out the garage door spring, insurance deductible and the smaller garage door spring, as it was causing the garage door opener control to have error messages...and the repairmen for the big garage spring said that it would probably hit Eddie's car when it broke, in not too distant future....so Springs on Tuesday. What was it that my Mom and Grandmother use to say, Tragedy comes in threes. If my math is correct, I think we are done.
As the heat and positivity rate in Houston cranks up, remember to be a rule obeyer, wear your mask, use hand sanitizer or wash your hands frequently, use social distancing and take care of yourself...we are in this for the long haul...like a marathon, we want to see us all make it to the finish line..together. We miss our friends!
Monday, July 6, 2020
Sunday, June 21, 2020
Mr. Eddie's To Do List
When I last wrote, I promised you an Eddie story. With any good Eddie story, there is the background information that is essential to understanding the mind of Eddie (the tao of Eddie, if you will)....but after years of comparing notes with other lady friends, this could actually be a "man" thing. I am by nature and training a list maker, my lists have lists. I delight in crossing off tasks. I do a happy dance when all the tasks on a page are completed. When I was mentally more agile, I had spiral bound notebooks (leftovers from the kids' school work-waste not want not, as my mother would say---complete with those chads and wire pinked edge paper scraps) that would have sections of lists all organized by subject matter. I now have a clip board with leftover notebook paper (yes, I still am using that stuff up, too) that has a sheet each for House/Travel/Kid stuff. Unfortunately, there is nothing going on the Travel sheet, and the kid stuff is pretty much covered on a calendar date as once Camp Allen goes into session (June 21st), Eddie and I are restricted from seeing them as they might be knee deep in Covid Cootie world. Eddie on the other had creates a "super list". It usually starts on a small scrap of paper then progresses to a type written numbered sheet...which takes days to create...instead of working on the list items, Eddie is hung up on the birth of the list, which is then attached to a clipboard...and promptly stuck in a drawer. Sigh. No happy dance. This story begins with one of those “super” list in the Fall of 2016. The list had replace the bulkhead, widen the dock walkway and add rails around both the walkway and the boat house area to prevent the ducks, comorants and gulls from living (and pooping) on said walkway and boat house area. The bulkhead, dock walkway and rails were added prior to March of 2017. Eddie put on his "to do” list to completed the rails around the boathouse area, himself...never sure why he wants to have an actual hand in the finished project...his Scottish heritage, his man pride of I can do this, or a reason to purchase more tools. We departed for our usually Spring Cruise. While we were gone, the April Tax Day flood arrived...and took some (really, a lot) of the backfill from the yard and added to the silt problem in the lake. So, the list was expanded to include dump trucks of dirt and sand and an enormous amount of new sod. These items quickly moved to the top of Eddie's list. Work was completed just in time for the Memorial Day flood....more sand, soil and sod added to Lake Houston. So, the rest of the rail pickets around the boathouse were scheduled to be completed in the Fall of 2017....and we all know what we were doing in that season...Harvey.
Fast forward, Eddie has had many typed lists and a couple of multi paged excel spreadsheets since then. Note, I have not said a word about completion of task on his lists. He obviously does not get the same joy of crossing off as I do. His lists and the ranking of their priority is a combination known only to him. I have determined that if it is not a priority to him, I have two choices, do it myself or hire it out. This is why we have separate lists. We have been finished with all of Harvey's major list items for well more than two years, four months and 7 days. But the rails around the boat house remained on an old 2016 list...until he decided in January that it was now a priority. All the lumber was purchased, all the 2-3/4 inch screws were purchased....and placed in his "shop" to be installed. In fits and starts, the 2 x 4 turned into rails, the 450 rails were cut and 4 screw holes were drill pressed into each for easy installation. The 450 rails were placed in two very neat piles on the dock..in Febraury. Meanwhile, he decided to build and install a dock bench, complete a needlepoint stocking, take a trip to Tucson, build a bedroom furniture for Grace and Lucy, read 25 books and endlessly doom scroll the daily Covid newsfeed. I decided not to ask when he planned on completing the pickets on the rails around the boat house---did I mention he quit smoking? Been married to the man for too long to poke that bear. So I waited, and waited. Our winged friends were no longer impressed with the trip wire on the 2x4 that went down the dock walkway rail, the white evidence of them laughing (and pooping) at our attempts to keep them away were a daily reminder that this work needed to be completed. About 3 weeks ago I added festive nylon flags---I order enough that we can look like a used car lot for years. So glad that Amazon is back to 2 day delivery...for now. There is only about 2-4 weeks flag fluttering before they look a little frayed....hence the large order. However, the flags keep the birds and their poop away. At about the same time, TS Cristobal was forming in the Gulf---and you know Frank (KPRC weather man), he likes to hedge his bets with a forecast of 0-12 inches of rain possible. Well, 12 inches of rain could put water over the boat dock area---and the 450 predrilled, neatly stacked rails would be set sail into the murky waters of Lake Houston. Eddie watched the weather daily to see the storm's course, not yet rushing to complete the dock work. In his defense, he had talked months ago to our handy man about helping him finish the job with using his boat (since we all know what happened to our---and no, a new boat is not on my list---but it is on Eddie's)...Handy man said he was booked solid. So, Cristobal blew east and the backside left of us with several days of 20-30 mph winds on the lake...out of the north....in other words directly into the front of the dock. Well, you guessed it. These were the days that Eddie decided that the work was to be completed. Without his much younger and more agile handy man in a boat, he determined that we (as in me and him, we) could do the work with Skippy the jet ski as our flotation device, or hanging from the skippy lift, or on our bellies (in freshly washed bird poop land) with arms poking through the pickets to secure the lower screws. The top 450 pickets were quick-we both had cordless lightweight drills, I started the upper screws, he mounted the picket to the precovid period rail with his handy block of wood and grip clamp...we were humming. The wind was not an issue, it was invigorating..wind, drills, marking thing off my list ---what could be better...until we got the bottom two screws. That is when Skippy was set into the water to be used as a construction barge in a 30 mph North wind. First, I worried that Ed drop the cordless drill---and you know Eddie, he doesn't do cheap. So, I raided our travel box for a long lanyard with clip and fashioned a loop with a zip tie to allow him to be able to keep the drill out of the water (read bottom of Lake) and around his neck, I then attached a rope to the front and back of Skippy. So, picture this, Eddie in a snuggly fitting life preserver (Covid/Not smoking weight gain), on Skippy holding/wearing a drill, my legs snuggly (yeah, I can cop to some Covid Cushion)threaded through the pickets so my feet could steady Skippy as it bobbed and slammed into the dock and my legs in the wind driven white capping lake water, holding both ropes in one hand to keep him close to the target zone, hand starting the bottom screws with my now blood finger tips, and holding a level so that he was sure that it was level and screwing in the two screws. Fun huh, the only thing that made it more special was Eddie implying that I was not helping keep the jet ski steady or that he could see the bubble in the level was not just so. We worked like this for about 2 hours, and only managed to screw in 20 or so pickets....40 screws... We were done for the day. While Eddie was redocking Skippy I used the lanyard drill and reached through the pickets and screwed in probably 5 or so pickets. Not comfortable, but better than Plan A. Over the next few windy days we completed the job. I would hand thread start the screws Eddie would reach through and finish the job. 10 days later I am still wearing bandaid on my index fingers. The dock furniture has been bracketed to the deck. Like I said, when it comes to lists, if it is important to me---do it myself (the flags were my dyi option) or hire it out.
I will finish with the promised quick Karen story. Sun glare give me a headache, not to mention makes it hard for me to see. Since we were working on the dock, I used a pair of old prescription sunglasses...knowing that dangling over the side of the dock or through the pickets was a good way to lose the glasses. My old glasses do not have a strong enough reading script...so on one of my many trip back to the house to get a certain sized screw or a something that needed better vision, I grabbed my regular glasses and kept swapping them out for my sunglasses. I was very careful in where I was placing my regular glasses....or at least I thought so. After we were done for the day, the Skippy cover was on the newly constructed bench, Eddie toy, I mean tool, box was repacked for the trip back up to the house, we headed back up. I reached the house and realized I had my sunglasses on, but where were my regular glasses. Back and forth to the dock (yeah, I got my 10,000 steps in), in and out of my pockets, Eddie's tool box, the Skippy Cover, furniture---no glasses...Oh well, must have gone over board. I have never lost a pair of Rx glasses before....Rats, a perfect record ruined, an item to add to my list. Back at the house, I put my hand through my hair, as it has been blown into a fine mess...and there the glasses sat. Oh well, guess we are both older than we think. What a surprise!
As we enter into the uptick of the first wave of this Covid Season, remember to stay safe and healthy and always try to find something that makes you laugh out loud every day!
Fast forward, Eddie has had many typed lists and a couple of multi paged excel spreadsheets since then. Note, I have not said a word about completion of task on his lists. He obviously does not get the same joy of crossing off as I do. His lists and the ranking of their priority is a combination known only to him. I have determined that if it is not a priority to him, I have two choices, do it myself or hire it out. This is why we have separate lists. We have been finished with all of Harvey's major list items for well more than two years, four months and 7 days. But the rails around the boat house remained on an old 2016 list...until he decided in January that it was now a priority. All the lumber was purchased, all the 2-3/4 inch screws were purchased....and placed in his "shop" to be installed. In fits and starts, the 2 x 4 turned into rails, the 450 rails were cut and 4 screw holes were drill pressed into each for easy installation. The 450 rails were placed in two very neat piles on the dock..in Febraury. Meanwhile, he decided to build and install a dock bench, complete a needlepoint stocking, take a trip to Tucson, build a bedroom furniture for Grace and Lucy, read 25 books and endlessly doom scroll the daily Covid newsfeed. I decided not to ask when he planned on completing the pickets on the rails around the boat house---did I mention he quit smoking? Been married to the man for too long to poke that bear. So I waited, and waited. Our winged friends were no longer impressed with the trip wire on the 2x4 that went down the dock walkway rail, the white evidence of them laughing (and pooping) at our attempts to keep them away were a daily reminder that this work needed to be completed. About 3 weeks ago I added festive nylon flags---I order enough that we can look like a used car lot for years. So glad that Amazon is back to 2 day delivery...for now. There is only about 2-4 weeks flag fluttering before they look a little frayed....hence the large order. However, the flags keep the birds and their poop away. At about the same time, TS Cristobal was forming in the Gulf---and you know Frank (KPRC weather man), he likes to hedge his bets with a forecast of 0-12 inches of rain possible. Well, 12 inches of rain could put water over the boat dock area---and the 450 predrilled, neatly stacked rails would be set sail into the murky waters of Lake Houston. Eddie watched the weather daily to see the storm's course, not yet rushing to complete the dock work. In his defense, he had talked months ago to our handy man about helping him finish the job with using his boat (since we all know what happened to our---and no, a new boat is not on my list---but it is on Eddie's)...Handy man said he was booked solid. So, Cristobal blew east and the backside left of us with several days of 20-30 mph winds on the lake...out of the north....in other words directly into the front of the dock. Well, you guessed it. These were the days that Eddie decided that the work was to be completed. Without his much younger and more agile handy man in a boat, he determined that we (as in me and him, we) could do the work with Skippy the jet ski as our flotation device, or hanging from the skippy lift, or on our bellies (in freshly washed bird poop land) with arms poking through the pickets to secure the lower screws. The top 450 pickets were quick-we both had cordless lightweight drills, I started the upper screws, he mounted the picket to the precovid period rail with his handy block of wood and grip clamp...we were humming. The wind was not an issue, it was invigorating..wind, drills, marking thing off my list ---what could be better...until we got the bottom two screws. That is when Skippy was set into the water to be used as a construction barge in a 30 mph North wind. First, I worried that Ed drop the cordless drill---and you know Eddie, he doesn't do cheap. So, I raided our travel box for a long lanyard with clip and fashioned a loop with a zip tie to allow him to be able to keep the drill out of the water (read bottom of Lake) and around his neck, I then attached a rope to the front and back of Skippy. So, picture this, Eddie in a snuggly fitting life preserver (Covid/Not smoking weight gain), on Skippy holding/wearing a drill, my legs snuggly (yeah, I can cop to some Covid Cushion)threaded through the pickets so my feet could steady Skippy as it bobbed and slammed into the dock and my legs in the wind driven white capping lake water, holding both ropes in one hand to keep him close to the target zone, hand starting the bottom screws with my now blood finger tips, and holding a level so that he was sure that it was level and screwing in the two screws. Fun huh, the only thing that made it more special was Eddie implying that I was not helping keep the jet ski steady or that he could see the bubble in the level was not just so. We worked like this for about 2 hours, and only managed to screw in 20 or so pickets....40 screws... We were done for the day. While Eddie was redocking Skippy I used the lanyard drill and reached through the pickets and screwed in probably 5 or so pickets. Not comfortable, but better than Plan A. Over the next few windy days we completed the job. I would hand thread start the screws Eddie would reach through and finish the job. 10 days later I am still wearing bandaid on my index fingers. The dock furniture has been bracketed to the deck. Like I said, when it comes to lists, if it is important to me---do it myself (the flags were my dyi option) or hire it out.
I will finish with the promised quick Karen story. Sun glare give me a headache, not to mention makes it hard for me to see. Since we were working on the dock, I used a pair of old prescription sunglasses...knowing that dangling over the side of the dock or through the pickets was a good way to lose the glasses. My old glasses do not have a strong enough reading script...so on one of my many trip back to the house to get a certain sized screw or a something that needed better vision, I grabbed my regular glasses and kept swapping them out for my sunglasses. I was very careful in where I was placing my regular glasses....or at least I thought so. After we were done for the day, the Skippy cover was on the newly constructed bench, Eddie toy, I mean tool, box was repacked for the trip back up to the house, we headed back up. I reached the house and realized I had my sunglasses on, but where were my regular glasses. Back and forth to the dock (yeah, I got my 10,000 steps in), in and out of my pockets, Eddie's tool box, the Skippy Cover, furniture---no glasses...Oh well, must have gone over board. I have never lost a pair of Rx glasses before....Rats, a perfect record ruined, an item to add to my list. Back at the house, I put my hand through my hair, as it has been blown into a fine mess...and there the glasses sat. Oh well, guess we are both older than we think. What a surprise!
As we enter into the uptick of the first wave of this Covid Season, remember to stay safe and healthy and always try to find something that makes you laugh out loud every day!
Tuesday, June 9, 2020
Whiplash!
Holy Cow! I started a new post a couple of weeks ago, mid-May I would guess, when Texas (aka the Wild West) began reopening after our Spring Covid19 season of lockdown. Kinda like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly after a period of cocooning. Despite its many legs, the caterpillar does not appear to stray too far from home, continuously eating, not hanging with others, then spinning itself into a cocoon (I wonder if the better cocoons have Netflix or Amazon Prime)...then bursting forth with wings and taking flight frantically flying from bush to flower and back again. In the case of the Monarch butterflies flying to Mexico for the winter. Ahh, travel, I so miss it. This is the first Spring we have had at home in 10 years... I wonder if our butterflies have been instructed to wear little butterfly masks, and use social distancing? And so it is, some of us has taken flight from our cocoons, and been buzzing around without a care in the world (or caring too much as the case may be). Not too far as you can't cross the borders, yet.... What a difference a couple of weeks in the cocoon make! The entire country has gone from cocooning at home to out in the streets....in crazy large numbers...sweating, yelling, chanting, laying face down on the dirty street, not social distancing, sharing water bottles with not a drop of hand sanitizer in sight. Talk about short attention spans. Frankly, I am suffering from whiplash on what the rules are right now and how to determine what Phase we are in (Phase-is that even a thing, or has it been retired like our M&M threat levels), what is open with restrictions and is really and truly closed. Eddie has decided that we all secretly voted (no mail in ballots, please) and decided that we really wanted to follow Sweden's lead - frequent hand washing, social distancing, masks and guns optional, keep the old and sick (aka "our most vulnerable populations") at home-without visitors, otherwise, business as usual. FYI Houston is up 36% on Covid hospitalizations since we began reopening, protesting, etc. Looks like we may have pulled the $16 million temporary field hospital at Reliant down a little early...oops. That is $32 million we won't have for flooding and storm clean up this year if we have to have a do over. All that and the threat of locusts and murder hornets---not even the apocalyptic movies that usually come out for the 4th of July have plots this complicated.
I remember thinking about where to begin on reopening---the thought of Shakespeare's Hamlet popped into my tiny little head - "To mask or not to mask"...that is the question. At that point masking seem like the reasonable way to protect one's self. It has become apparent that there are two camps, those that do and those that won't ever. Ed and I are firmly in the camp of do-bees (remember Romper Room). We have traveled too much to Asia and watch everyone always wearing masks--there is a reason, they are not doing it for a fashion statement. In fact, I ordered masks in early January when this first started on the news. (remember the old adage, a butterfly flaps its wings in China, and the US catches the cold) Ed laughed at me...by March he was asking me where they were...along with hand sanitizer, Clorox wipes, Lysol spray and gloves (yup, I had them---only failed the year supply of toilet paper test) Unfortunately, I had a case of writer's block or a case of news overload....I have read 12 different books since then. I was also tired of cooking and eating my own meals. Peanut butter and crackers, anyone? I could put a few words down, but I was stuck for inspiration on how to proceed... However, I now must as a PSA write a word about masking etiquette. While I have seen some of these various infractions myself, locally and personally, you need look no farther than your daily news---pick your flavor-CNN, NBC, CBS, BBC, FOX, ABC---to see the total lack of common sense for proper mask usage. Folks, I know it is hot, but if you choose to wear a mask, let's think about some proper ground rules. Otherwise, be a mask not person, cause you are doing more harm to yourself than good with what you are doing...besides looking stupid. First, it is not a sweat band-putting your mask on your forehead is not going to help you with the Covid Cooties. Likewise for being a headband. Second, the proper placement is right side up---if your mask has a metal clip, that belongs on the bridge of your nose, not on your chin or under your chin. You gently grab the clip and pinch slightly to make the mask fit better....I believe the term is secure fit. The metal clip on the bottom will not stop you from snoring or being a mouth breather. Homemade masks without a clip often have at contour shape that fits the nose bridge, while the chin side does not have the peaked edge. There is probably a right side and a wrong side to your mask...make sure you have that right, too. If you wear your mask multiple times, regardless of type, you should endeavor to have the same side to your face every time. More on that in a moment. Third, and this is a biggie---the mask needs to be on the bridge of your nose (meaning over your nasal passages-those roundish holes, two per human) and over your month (that big slit in your face) and far enough down on your chin so that it does not gap when you speak. If you are speaking or being spoken to---keep it covered, both of them-nose and mouth. Some folks get this half right and have it only over their mouths, or only over the noses---you will not get just half the virus if you do this, you will get the whole virus. Kinda of like being a little pregnant....it does not work that way. Fourth, if you are promask---commit to the mask, do not use your hand that has been on the grocery cart or other public surface to remove the mask from one ear allowing it to dangle like a Christmas ornament from your one ear, or push it down under your chin, then use the now dirty hand to reposition the mask when you see someone headed for your 6 foot separation bubble. They have said from the start, it is almost an involuntary reflex to touch your face. Keep your hands away from your face...to include nose picking-which I have witnessed, mask down, pick, mask up. And it was an adult....ewwww... Finally, treat your mask like your underwear. Think about it ---your mask has been over your face and mouth, you have breathed in and out (I assume) have spoken to people (think spit or just those invisible mouth cooties they keep talking about on both sides of the mask) and have taken it off with your hopefully hand sanitized hands...with your car AC running (hey, it is hot out there)...place your mask someplace clean if you are going to wear it again....know which side is front and back. What do you do with your underwear when you are getting ready for a change---shower or what have you? You don't put it on the floor then pick it up and put it back on later. Consider washing your mask after every outing...or go commando... Don't even get me started about paper mask reuse for weeks....right up there with the nose picker on gross out meter. I see that dirty masks hanging from Bubba's pick up truck's rear view window....
In coming days, I have an Eddie story, and a Karen story---no, not the urban slang "Karen"...which I was not even aware of until I stumbled into Covid Karen articles....like I said, I have ODed on News articles. Asked my adult children, and they told me that being a "Karen" was a thing before Covid was a thing. I have been enlightened, no more loudly asking to talk to the manager---which my family knows I am sooo likely to do....you never know who has their phone camera on these days.
I remember thinking about where to begin on reopening---the thought of Shakespeare's Hamlet popped into my tiny little head - "To mask or not to mask"...that is the question. At that point masking seem like the reasonable way to protect one's self. It has become apparent that there are two camps, those that do and those that won't ever. Ed and I are firmly in the camp of do-bees (remember Romper Room). We have traveled too much to Asia and watch everyone always wearing masks--there is a reason, they are not doing it for a fashion statement. In fact, I ordered masks in early January when this first started on the news. (remember the old adage, a butterfly flaps its wings in China, and the US catches the cold) Ed laughed at me...by March he was asking me where they were...along with hand sanitizer, Clorox wipes, Lysol spray and gloves (yup, I had them---only failed the year supply of toilet paper test) Unfortunately, I had a case of writer's block or a case of news overload....I have read 12 different books since then. I was also tired of cooking and eating my own meals. Peanut butter and crackers, anyone? I could put a few words down, but I was stuck for inspiration on how to proceed... However, I now must as a PSA write a word about masking etiquette. While I have seen some of these various infractions myself, locally and personally, you need look no farther than your daily news---pick your flavor-CNN, NBC, CBS, BBC, FOX, ABC---to see the total lack of common sense for proper mask usage. Folks, I know it is hot, but if you choose to wear a mask, let's think about some proper ground rules. Otherwise, be a mask not person, cause you are doing more harm to yourself than good with what you are doing...besides looking stupid. First, it is not a sweat band-putting your mask on your forehead is not going to help you with the Covid Cooties. Likewise for being a headband. Second, the proper placement is right side up---if your mask has a metal clip, that belongs on the bridge of your nose, not on your chin or under your chin. You gently grab the clip and pinch slightly to make the mask fit better....I believe the term is secure fit. The metal clip on the bottom will not stop you from snoring or being a mouth breather. Homemade masks without a clip often have at contour shape that fits the nose bridge, while the chin side does not have the peaked edge. There is probably a right side and a wrong side to your mask...make sure you have that right, too. If you wear your mask multiple times, regardless of type, you should endeavor to have the same side to your face every time. More on that in a moment. Third, and this is a biggie---the mask needs to be on the bridge of your nose (meaning over your nasal passages-those roundish holes, two per human) and over your month (that big slit in your face) and far enough down on your chin so that it does not gap when you speak. If you are speaking or being spoken to---keep it covered, both of them-nose and mouth. Some folks get this half right and have it only over their mouths, or only over the noses---you will not get just half the virus if you do this, you will get the whole virus. Kinda of like being a little pregnant....it does not work that way. Fourth, if you are promask---commit to the mask, do not use your hand that has been on the grocery cart or other public surface to remove the mask from one ear allowing it to dangle like a Christmas ornament from your one ear, or push it down under your chin, then use the now dirty hand to reposition the mask when you see someone headed for your 6 foot separation bubble. They have said from the start, it is almost an involuntary reflex to touch your face. Keep your hands away from your face...to include nose picking-which I have witnessed, mask down, pick, mask up. And it was an adult....ewwww... Finally, treat your mask like your underwear. Think about it ---your mask has been over your face and mouth, you have breathed in and out (I assume) have spoken to people (think spit or just those invisible mouth cooties they keep talking about on both sides of the mask) and have taken it off with your hopefully hand sanitized hands...with your car AC running (hey, it is hot out there)...place your mask someplace clean if you are going to wear it again....know which side is front and back. What do you do with your underwear when you are getting ready for a change---shower or what have you? You don't put it on the floor then pick it up and put it back on later. Consider washing your mask after every outing...or go commando... Don't even get me started about paper mask reuse for weeks....right up there with the nose picker on gross out meter. I see that dirty masks hanging from Bubba's pick up truck's rear view window....
In coming days, I have an Eddie story, and a Karen story---no, not the urban slang "Karen"...which I was not even aware of until I stumbled into Covid Karen articles....like I said, I have ODed on News articles. Asked my adult children, and they told me that being a "Karen" was a thing before Covid was a thing. I have been enlightened, no more loudly asking to talk to the manager---which my family knows I am sooo likely to do....you never know who has their phone camera on these days.
Sunday, April 19, 2020
Mr. Eddie Returns
Well, as I read our phasing back to a new normal, not to be confused with the M&M color code terrorist threat chart---soo last decade, we are somewhere between prephase 1 and post-phase 1, depending on where you are---in the country, county, city, or what have you. Just like Cancer Doctors, Politicians and Pandemic folks don't like to talk about hard and fast dates, deadlines or "how long you have to live" or "how long you have to be in lockdown". Somehow, I kinda liked to M&M threat chart-green means go, red means stop...lots clearer for us in the herd (looking for immunity in all the wrong places) to understand. As I see it, we here in the 7-19 county region in what I would call a pre phase 1. (see what I am talking about---depending on where you get your news Houston is a 7 (number of counties that touch Harris county?) or up to a 19 county area (I guess that is the range of the TV station with rabbit ears?) We have to see a "flattening of the curve" - as I see it we are still climbing that curve on the uphill side. We must continue to test---do not get me started on this one---this should be just like the pregnancy test at the dollar store...$1.00, pee on the stick at home red or green, and boom you have results. Of course you can go to Target, Walmart, CVS Walgreens or any other place and get a more expensive one, but it is still works the same. We could even post to Facebook, Instagram, or where ever. But I do not make or manufacture the test, if I did I would not be stuck at home blogging, cooking and wasting time. We will continue to social distance, avoid gatherings of more than 10 people, wearing face masks, washing hands and all surfaces, no unnecessary travel, continue to staying home if you are considered a "vulnerable" person(s) (yes, we have checked that box) for the next 14 days to see if we stuck the landing on the other side of the hill. Like I said, not sure if we are ready for declaring our intentions on Phase I. Be that as it may, our Governor has indicated that we can begin reopening some things, with caution. State Parks - as long as you are 6 feet apart, wearing face masks, with not more than 10 people - probably okay. I would however resist the urge to eat on the picnic tables or use the grills. A word about masks. Whether you have the bandana, coffee filter and rubber band dyi, the homemade pleated, lined surgical style or the rounded guinea pig nose dyi variety (shame on you if you have a N95(even if it was leftover from Harvey flood work) or a Amazon purchased medical looking one or box of them---those are for first responders and front line workers---medical or otherwise) ---next week will be a real test for us in Houston's resolve to be mask compliant. It is suppose to be hot and humid, with temps in the high 80's. To be effective against others germs they need to be pretty substantial and worn correctly (with some of the pictures I have seen, not necessarily a given)...I am looking at heat rashes on most folks chins and cheeks...and us glasses wears will have permanent fogged glasses. We will not be practicing social distancing, our glasses will be too fogged, so we will be bumping into folks. No rest for the weary and wicked. Governor Abbott also is allowing for retailers to open for "to go" operations. Hmmm, this should be interesting. Operations that have an robust online platform (boy, that and "pandemic" will be the "P" words in our kindergarten home school package for a while) can swing it if people have the money to shop for non-essentials. However, there are tons of businesses that just have not gotten on board of the e commerce way of life. Don't worry there is a point to that statement, I will circle back before I am finished. There was nothing specifically mentioned about the reopening of hair, nail, gyms, etc. until Phase 3---which in my calculations is a good 6-8 weeks for most of us---If we see an uptick in hospitalizations and infections, we have to go back to Phase I-kind of like a Monopoly Go to Jail Card---and start over. Which bring me to Mr. Eddie returns.
A lifetime ago, when I had lots of hair and Texas Big Hair was a thing, I struggled with getting my hair permed. The texture said lots of time in the curling rods, with two sets of solution---but my hair would always be fried beyond a crisp and look like a brown wad of steel wool. My Mother's remedy for that was hot olive oil packs for several days post frying....ugh...then wait until it grew out and could be trimmed off. After many bad experiences with the salons of the 1980's, Mr. Eddie began doing my perms at home. My mom saved everything, so I had the rollers and papers. I would get two boxes of TONI Home Permanent kits (it has been a while, but you girls all remember Toni Home Perms), and Mr. Eddie would slip into his puff sleeve shirt with the V neck, platform shoes, bell bottoms and a gold neck chain. Apparently, we did not throw anything away either as these were popular closet items in the 70's when we were dating. He would start by opening a bottle of champagne, putting on disco music, and seating me on the vanity in our bathroom on Tree Lane. He would clip a towel around my neck, give me a glass of champagne and begin meticulously sectioning my hair and giving me what would be the best permanent that money could not buy. Eddie is a ham---high school and college drama nerd, court room orator---so slipping into Mr. Eddie was no stretch for him. We had our own home beauty salon for years, the kids would squeal when Mr. Eddie would come to town. In later years, some of Lauren's favorite memories are of her Dad blow drying her hair. He would do the Brazilian/Kingwood Blow Out without becoming Mr. Eddie. He is gentle, never in a hurry and would brush her hair until she was almost asleep. Permed hair is thing of the past, as is my thick hair. Thin is in or has been since 2012. While it does not have the same texture, color or thickness, it still grows like a weed and looks flat and frizzy all at the same time unless cut every 4 weeks. Well, lock down happened, and my April appointment is now Memorial Day weekend. Oh, Mr. Eddie can you come back for a visit? ....I have bookmarked some You Tube videos on how to cut hair. Right now my hair is sticking straight out on either side (think Bozo) Mr. Eddie is not sporting a man bun/ponytail yet, but he has the long gray sweep back look of a Pentecostal preacher on Sunday during Revival, we don't have the platformed shoes nor puffy sleeved shirt any more, but we always have champagne chilling. Do you think that Sally's Beauty Store - yes, that truly old school place that you buy all sorts of hair supplies that are not sold at Target or Walmart --- has the ability to do the "retail to go"..not really feeling that as a e-commerce place. I know I can get everything I want or need from Amazon, but I would like to support my local businesses if I can. See, I told you I would circle back. I have some 60 year old barber scissors that were used on me as a child---the thumb holes are a little small for Mr. Eddie and I would like to upgrade to include some thinning shears along with some more Mr. Eddie like clippers. Do you think I can get Mr. Eddie to do a facial and a mani/pedi? Just thinking ahead, need to stimulate my local economy where I can.
Hope you are all well, keeping your curves flattened and your marbles firmly in their bag.
A lifetime ago, when I had lots of hair and Texas Big Hair was a thing, I struggled with getting my hair permed. The texture said lots of time in the curling rods, with two sets of solution---but my hair would always be fried beyond a crisp and look like a brown wad of steel wool. My Mother's remedy for that was hot olive oil packs for several days post frying....ugh...then wait until it grew out and could be trimmed off. After many bad experiences with the salons of the 1980's, Mr. Eddie began doing my perms at home. My mom saved everything, so I had the rollers and papers. I would get two boxes of TONI Home Permanent kits (it has been a while, but you girls all remember Toni Home Perms), and Mr. Eddie would slip into his puff sleeve shirt with the V neck, platform shoes, bell bottoms and a gold neck chain. Apparently, we did not throw anything away either as these were popular closet items in the 70's when we were dating. He would start by opening a bottle of champagne, putting on disco music, and seating me on the vanity in our bathroom on Tree Lane. He would clip a towel around my neck, give me a glass of champagne and begin meticulously sectioning my hair and giving me what would be the best permanent that money could not buy. Eddie is a ham---high school and college drama nerd, court room orator---so slipping into Mr. Eddie was no stretch for him. We had our own home beauty salon for years, the kids would squeal when Mr. Eddie would come to town. In later years, some of Lauren's favorite memories are of her Dad blow drying her hair. He would do the Brazilian/Kingwood Blow Out without becoming Mr. Eddie. He is gentle, never in a hurry and would brush her hair until she was almost asleep. Permed hair is thing of the past, as is my thick hair. Thin is in or has been since 2012. While it does not have the same texture, color or thickness, it still grows like a weed and looks flat and frizzy all at the same time unless cut every 4 weeks. Well, lock down happened, and my April appointment is now Memorial Day weekend. Oh, Mr. Eddie can you come back for a visit? ....I have bookmarked some You Tube videos on how to cut hair. Right now my hair is sticking straight out on either side (think Bozo) Mr. Eddie is not sporting a man bun/ponytail yet, but he has the long gray sweep back look of a Pentecostal preacher on Sunday during Revival, we don't have the platformed shoes nor puffy sleeved shirt any more, but we always have champagne chilling. Do you think that Sally's Beauty Store - yes, that truly old school place that you buy all sorts of hair supplies that are not sold at Target or Walmart --- has the ability to do the "retail to go"..not really feeling that as a e-commerce place. I know I can get everything I want or need from Amazon, but I would like to support my local businesses if I can. See, I told you I would circle back. I have some 60 year old barber scissors that were used on me as a child---the thumb holes are a little small for Mr. Eddie and I would like to upgrade to include some thinning shears along with some more Mr. Eddie like clippers. Do you think I can get Mr. Eddie to do a facial and a mani/pedi? Just thinking ahead, need to stimulate my local economy where I can.
Hope you are all well, keeping your curves flattened and your marbles firmly in their bag.
Tuesday, April 14, 2020
Quarantine Rabbit Holes and Other Shiny Things
In the words of Thumper (Bambi-currently streaming on Disney plus) “ If you can’t something nice, don’t say anything at all”. As there is nothing new, exciting or different to report for here, I have been keeping a low profile...Eddie stories are hard to come by when he is in a familiar rut here at home. A truly good Eddie story must have the elements of surprise, distance travel, unusual food or people, and possibly early mornings, which we all know, Eddie does not do anything joyfully before 10:00 AM. Doubtful you want a report on his woodwork projects, there are some colorful not foreign language being use...in new combinations I might add, quite sure that is a result of no cigarettes in 9 weeks (wahoo!), power tools and Murphy’s Law. A few notable quotable from the silver tongued lawyer...first, coming in from the shop last week, he stated “I am glad I am not a surgeon”. Not that we need any more high risk Items for Coronavirus than we already have, and it is a little late in life for a redo career wise...so, I gathered that precision cutting was as little less than good in the wood shop that day...Next, was an out of the blue comment while we were watching TV- “You know,” he started, “ I use to cover a fart with a cough, I guess I will have to start covering my coughs with a fart.” You’ve been warned. Like I said, there is not much new or exciting here.
I have ebbed and flowed with the dark side of pandemic panic and craziness. I have had to put my iPad into lockdown/quarantine, because that rabbit hole will make you say bad words, fart and cough all at the same time with no Easter chocolate reward for your travels. As the path forward looks like a Game of Thrones book (who will sit on the Iron Throne---early betting has Andrew Cuomo as a dark horse candidate), with a little House, MD thrown in for spice, I decided it was best to find other things to keep me busy...and out of the kitchen area...see Quarantine 15 (or CoVid 19 (as in not quite 20 lbs in 3 weeks) for those that have been eating take out more often) for details.
As I have said, Eddie is chasing his own rabbits out in the garage. I have been attempting to be a good steward of the things in my life...to include the garbage. On advise of our garbage company/community association, we are to place our trash in a black garbage bag and place said 39 gallon black garbage bag (in lieu of our can) on the curb for pick up on our regular pick up days. The email notice reminds us that our sanitation engineers (aka garbage men) handle over 2,000 garbage cans daily, and some of those cans could have corona cooties. Yikes! Here again, another rabbit hole. So, I have been diligently sorting my trash so that it fits into one black garbage bag....removing the clean cardboard waste to be taken to the recycle bin on my one trip a week to get groceries from the pick up location that I booked 7-10 days prior. Yet, another Rabbit Hole. I am sorry, I miss going to the grocery store and selecting my own groceries....and bumping into people I know. I know our personal shoppers are doing the best that they can given when everyone that can is using their services. When you ask for 1 pound of broccoli, 1 pound of red grapes and one bag of lemons and get 5 pounds of broccoli, 4 pounds of grapes and 1 lemon I can see why Scott McClelland is such a big supporter of Good Reason (shiny thing alert-Houston area nonprofit to help kids be successful in school). Guess that part is of why we do not have full time virtual learning. I have used all of the Pinterest recipes for Grapes and/or Broccoli that I can. Unless I stomp the grapes and make wine or smother the Broccoli in cheese sauce, I am flying solo on the stewardship of these items. Like I said, learning to be thankful of what I do get from the store can become a rabbit hole of its own.
Post Harvey, I rediscovered a old quilt that was made prior to the last pandemic of 1918. This quilt has moved us for 43 years, moved our kids, been a picnic blanket, and a tent. It ended up being stored in a high shelf on the first floor. Prior to coming into our possession, it was on down feather beds in Mississippi where homes were drafty and cold as there was no central heat --only the fireplace. It was made by Ed's grandmother from pieces of old clothing and such. It was not an art quilt by any means, but a block pattern quilt that was sewn together by a sturdy black Singer tread powered machine, then hand quilted...function over form. I have that old machine, I even have his grandmother's old sewing basket. So, ratty and worn or not, I was determined not to toss this old piece away---it held too much history. It has been draped over the weight machine in the home gym since we moved back down stairs a little over 2 years ago. (Guess there is nothing shiny in the home gym as it was just where I left it 2 years ago) Wow, that whole thing--flooding, Harvey and rebuilding-- seems so long ago. While each day then was challenging, frustrating, and exhausting, you at least knew where you were heading and how to get there...even if you had to wait your turn or found potholes in the road forward. This is so different. (OOOHHH Shiny-sorry) Well, I made a couple of large TV pillows for the grandkids out of the better blocks and have fashioned a Pandemic Santa from some of the scraps. I have enough for two pandemic panda bears leftover, wow, another week of fun with a sewing machine. Perhaps since this quilt survived the 1918 Spanish Flu I should make masks out of them....decisions, decisions....rabbit holes.
Ed and I had a shiny thing planned for late July and August--an air, land and sea trip to Alaska with a Pacific Northwest Road Trip. As final payment for the sea portion was due this week, we went down the what if rabbit hole. In the past, I have chronicled Eddie's adventures with both air and sea "flu" that he seems to get regardless of how careful we are...the answer seemed obvious---to our children. We love to travel, so we spent lots of time discussing the what ifs. In the end today, we (really, me, cause we know how all this travel stuff gets done in Pickle world) pulled the plug on the air, land and sea portion of the trip---however, hope springs eternal---we can still "drive" in our car, with masks, gloves and Lysol to the Montana portion of our trip. Hopefully, there will be Hand Sanitizer by that time. Fingers crossed. Holding my rabbit foot keychain for good luck.
I have ebbed and flowed with the dark side of pandemic panic and craziness. I have had to put my iPad into lockdown/quarantine, because that rabbit hole will make you say bad words, fart and cough all at the same time with no Easter chocolate reward for your travels. As the path forward looks like a Game of Thrones book (who will sit on the Iron Throne---early betting has Andrew Cuomo as a dark horse candidate), with a little House, MD thrown in for spice, I decided it was best to find other things to keep me busy...and out of the kitchen area...see Quarantine 15 (or CoVid 19 (as in not quite 20 lbs in 3 weeks) for those that have been eating take out more often) for details.
As I have said, Eddie is chasing his own rabbits out in the garage. I have been attempting to be a good steward of the things in my life...to include the garbage. On advise of our garbage company/community association, we are to place our trash in a black garbage bag and place said 39 gallon black garbage bag (in lieu of our can) on the curb for pick up on our regular pick up days. The email notice reminds us that our sanitation engineers (aka garbage men) handle over 2,000 garbage cans daily, and some of those cans could have corona cooties. Yikes! Here again, another rabbit hole. So, I have been diligently sorting my trash so that it fits into one black garbage bag....removing the clean cardboard waste to be taken to the recycle bin on my one trip a week to get groceries from the pick up location that I booked 7-10 days prior. Yet, another Rabbit Hole. I am sorry, I miss going to the grocery store and selecting my own groceries....and bumping into people I know. I know our personal shoppers are doing the best that they can given when everyone that can is using their services. When you ask for 1 pound of broccoli, 1 pound of red grapes and one bag of lemons and get 5 pounds of broccoli, 4 pounds of grapes and 1 lemon I can see why Scott McClelland is such a big supporter of Good Reason (shiny thing alert-Houston area nonprofit to help kids be successful in school). Guess that part is of why we do not have full time virtual learning. I have used all of the Pinterest recipes for Grapes and/or Broccoli that I can. Unless I stomp the grapes and make wine or smother the Broccoli in cheese sauce, I am flying solo on the stewardship of these items. Like I said, learning to be thankful of what I do get from the store can become a rabbit hole of its own.
Post Harvey, I rediscovered a old quilt that was made prior to the last pandemic of 1918. This quilt has moved us for 43 years, moved our kids, been a picnic blanket, and a tent. It ended up being stored in a high shelf on the first floor. Prior to coming into our possession, it was on down feather beds in Mississippi where homes were drafty and cold as there was no central heat --only the fireplace. It was made by Ed's grandmother from pieces of old clothing and such. It was not an art quilt by any means, but a block pattern quilt that was sewn together by a sturdy black Singer tread powered machine, then hand quilted...function over form. I have that old machine, I even have his grandmother's old sewing basket. So, ratty and worn or not, I was determined not to toss this old piece away---it held too much history. It has been draped over the weight machine in the home gym since we moved back down stairs a little over 2 years ago. (Guess there is nothing shiny in the home gym as it was just where I left it 2 years ago) Wow, that whole thing--flooding, Harvey and rebuilding-- seems so long ago. While each day then was challenging, frustrating, and exhausting, you at least knew where you were heading and how to get there...even if you had to wait your turn or found potholes in the road forward. This is so different. (OOOHHH Shiny-sorry) Well, I made a couple of large TV pillows for the grandkids out of the better blocks and have fashioned a Pandemic Santa from some of the scraps. I have enough for two pandemic panda bears leftover, wow, another week of fun with a sewing machine. Perhaps since this quilt survived the 1918 Spanish Flu I should make masks out of them....decisions, decisions....rabbit holes.
Ed and I had a shiny thing planned for late July and August--an air, land and sea trip to Alaska with a Pacific Northwest Road Trip. As final payment for the sea portion was due this week, we went down the what if rabbit hole. In the past, I have chronicled Eddie's adventures with both air and sea "flu" that he seems to get regardless of how careful we are...the answer seemed obvious---to our children. We love to travel, so we spent lots of time discussing the what ifs. In the end today, we (really, me, cause we know how all this travel stuff gets done in Pickle world) pulled the plug on the air, land and sea portion of the trip---however, hope springs eternal---we can still "drive" in our car, with masks, gloves and Lysol to the Montana portion of our trip. Hopefully, there will be Hand Sanitizer by that time. Fingers crossed. Holding my rabbit foot keychain for good luck.
Monday, March 30, 2020
Going Old School
News Flash: Eddie is on to us...someone let it slip that my writings/musings/blogging are not exactly private. He knows that I have written travel journals for 20 years. When we started traveling more as we became empty nesters, I had several hard covered written journals--more about where we had been (so I could remember what my pictures were of), who we had met (names and impressions) and general musings. I always am up early, I could take my journal and go find a quiet place for coffee and writing time. As technology changed, and most my pictures on my phone became self-identifying (love that feature), I began making entries in the "Notes" or "Pages" Apps on my iPad..they became a little more "bloggy", but not widely shared..only a very select few got my musings...but they were being shared among friends, with the "don't tell or share with" Eddie. For those of you that haven't read my 2012 blogs, Eddie is an English teacher in lawyer's clothing with a love of proper grammar, sentence structure, spelling and proofreading---none of which are here in these pages. He has asked plenty of times over the years to read my musings...but I have always resisted...I know what will happen...he has been correcting my writings before there were computer word processing programs...1976. So, when he came home from what he swears is his last golf game until this Corona Crisis is over, he said "they really enjoy your blog". Unlike the internet "they" I know who "they" are. With a little smile and hopeful look, he said, "I guess I still can't see them, right". "Nope", I responded. I have been down this red ink road before...so, if all of a sudden you observe good grammar, spelling and a "voice" that doesn't sound like me...you will understand what has happened. Look for really big words, or even words like "amid" to start showing up. After CoVid19, Corona Virus, the word "Amid" was getting a high google count---journalists have been using it a lot lately. Obviously, that word was not learned when folks were assigned to memorize the list of prepositions in 8th grade. Oops, my high risk age is showing, I guess they don’t do that anymore.
In the frenzy to be prepared for a possible severe case of the virus, I have been thinking to myself, what would my mother, or her mother have done or do right now to prepare. With no drugs currently available to fight this, we have to go old school. First, my grandmother would have someone go to the liquor store and purchase a bottle of "Rock and Rye". My grandmother was a total tea totaler, never drank, but when she felt herself coming down with a cold or the flu, she would take a jigger of Rock and Rye with lemon before bed. Rye is, of course, rye whiskey, the rock is the stick of rock candy that was in the bottle. I remember seeing that bottle (with the stick of rock candy) in our home when my grandmother came to live with us in the early 60's. I have lots of whiskey-rye, scotch, Irish, jack Daniels, Japanese (yes, they make a fine whiskey), Canadian, Kentucky. Rock Candy-that is a Cracker Barrel thing. With the isolation orders, the thought of popping into Cracker Barrel for a Rock Candy has danger written all over if-I think I can substitute Raw sugar or honey for the Rock Candy. Lemon or orange peels, scrubbed within an inch of their lives. Check, I can follow that old school home spun remedy. Is one jigger enough, for medicinal purposes only, of course?
Last, but certainly not least is the Onion Poultice combined with a rub down in warm Camphor Oil. Growing up, if original Vick Vapor Rub (is it not as good as it use to be--too many lawsuits from folks sticking the strong stuff up their noses---see Product liability lawsuits-Eddie 101), or the vaporizer that could turn a room into a vapor rub hot house dripping with steam. For those really stubborn coughs, Mom would heat on the stove (this is the stone age-no microwaves) some camphorated oil and rub on your chest and back...as you held the thermometer under you tongue while she slowly counted to 100. Fast forward to her last 15 or so years. She had suffered from lung issues that had progressed, and she would normally stay indoors in Alabama from November until April to avoid getting anything....social and seasonal allergy distancing. The year her husband died, I was with her during one of the tough bouts. She decided that I need to make an onion poultice and put it on her to take the fluid out of her lungs. She claimed that and Mustard Plasters where the thing that her mother used...probably a 1918 pandemic home remedy. Okay, I bite, what is an onion poultice? I was instructed to take 4 pieces of flannel and sew them into two 12 x 12 bags with one partially opened side. I was then to retrieve an old oil cloth tablecloth from its outside storage place (it was a plaid tablecloth that had been used for picnics and painting projects---but put up clean--as was my mother's way). I was then to go get the heavy Pendleton wool striped blanket from the blanket closet. The remaining childhood beach towels from the bathroom closet were next on the list. Next, take 3 lbs of onion and slice them, separate the rings and take her largest fried pan with combo of camphorated oil and cooking (not partial hydrogenated, thank you very much) oil and sweat down the onions. Well, do you know how long it takes to sweat down 3 lbs of onions so they are limp and not caramelized? It is a long slow process. Long enough for me to go to the other end of the house and call my sister in Arizona and ask her what she thought....first, there was "I am glad it is you and not me" then there was a snarky comment about witch doctoring....not much help there. I rarely told my "older" mom no, guess I was trying to make up for the years I said “no” growing up. So, one triple layer wrapped onion human burrito coming up. From dusk till dawn, I watched Mom from the love seat in her bedroom. I would regularly mop the sweat from her face with a tepid damp rag, so as not to give her a chill. I watched her chest raise and fall with every rattled and labored breath. I was frankly afraid to fall asleep, for fear she would stop breathing. It was a long night...my mind kept wandering to how I was going to explain this to the EMS workers when they would arrive...because I was sure how this would end. A 80 something year old lady, bound in a triple wrap smelling of onions and camphorated oil. Not sure if they would have taken me to jail or to the loony bin. As the sun came up, her fever had broken as had her labored breathing. I cleaned up the evidence...I mean mess...while she showered. She ate for the first times in days...she had indeed turned the corner. Shortly after that she moved to Arizona and the dry air prevented her from too many lung episodes...I can only remember one or two occasions when I was called up for the onion poultice...it worked every time. So, I guess you will be adding onions to you H-E-B order, as a make sure. Newer twists to this exist on internet/Dr. Google Witch Doctor edition. I could tell you how it works but why spoil the fun...cause what are you doing anyway.
Speaking of old becoming new...blood transfusions of a recovered 1918 Spanish flu survivors were commonly used on people with the flu...there were no drugs to treat it...doubtful there were ventilator issues either... a 1940 creation. The FDA approved Houston Methodist Hospital (not just practicing but leading medicine..as the ad says) trial of plasma transfusions from Covid19 recovered patients. As this kinda sorta falls under experimental, who pays for this? Betcha it is not covered in the in or out of network plans that we have. Wondering if Eddie will go out of network to Methodist or submit to the onion poultice...what old is new...
In the frenzy to be prepared for a possible severe case of the virus, I have been thinking to myself, what would my mother, or her mother have done or do right now to prepare. With no drugs currently available to fight this, we have to go old school. First, my grandmother would have someone go to the liquor store and purchase a bottle of "Rock and Rye". My grandmother was a total tea totaler, never drank, but when she felt herself coming down with a cold or the flu, she would take a jigger of Rock and Rye with lemon before bed. Rye is, of course, rye whiskey, the rock is the stick of rock candy that was in the bottle. I remember seeing that bottle (with the stick of rock candy) in our home when my grandmother came to live with us in the early 60's. I have lots of whiskey-rye, scotch, Irish, jack Daniels, Japanese (yes, they make a fine whiskey), Canadian, Kentucky. Rock Candy-that is a Cracker Barrel thing. With the isolation orders, the thought of popping into Cracker Barrel for a Rock Candy has danger written all over if-I think I can substitute Raw sugar or honey for the Rock Candy. Lemon or orange peels, scrubbed within an inch of their lives. Check, I can follow that old school home spun remedy. Is one jigger enough, for medicinal purposes only, of course?
Last, but certainly not least is the Onion Poultice combined with a rub down in warm Camphor Oil. Growing up, if original Vick Vapor Rub (is it not as good as it use to be--too many lawsuits from folks sticking the strong stuff up their noses---see Product liability lawsuits-Eddie 101), or the vaporizer that could turn a room into a vapor rub hot house dripping with steam. For those really stubborn coughs, Mom would heat on the stove (this is the stone age-no microwaves) some camphorated oil and rub on your chest and back...as you held the thermometer under you tongue while she slowly counted to 100. Fast forward to her last 15 or so years. She had suffered from lung issues that had progressed, and she would normally stay indoors in Alabama from November until April to avoid getting anything....social and seasonal allergy distancing. The year her husband died, I was with her during one of the tough bouts. She decided that I need to make an onion poultice and put it on her to take the fluid out of her lungs. She claimed that and Mustard Plasters where the thing that her mother used...probably a 1918 pandemic home remedy. Okay, I bite, what is an onion poultice? I was instructed to take 4 pieces of flannel and sew them into two 12 x 12 bags with one partially opened side. I was then to retrieve an old oil cloth tablecloth from its outside storage place (it was a plaid tablecloth that had been used for picnics and painting projects---but put up clean--as was my mother's way). I was then to go get the heavy Pendleton wool striped blanket from the blanket closet. The remaining childhood beach towels from the bathroom closet were next on the list. Next, take 3 lbs of onion and slice them, separate the rings and take her largest fried pan with combo of camphorated oil and cooking (not partial hydrogenated, thank you very much) oil and sweat down the onions. Well, do you know how long it takes to sweat down 3 lbs of onions so they are limp and not caramelized? It is a long slow process. Long enough for me to go to the other end of the house and call my sister in Arizona and ask her what she thought....first, there was "I am glad it is you and not me" then there was a snarky comment about witch doctoring....not much help there. I rarely told my "older" mom no, guess I was trying to make up for the years I said “no” growing up. So, one triple layer wrapped onion human burrito coming up. From dusk till dawn, I watched Mom from the love seat in her bedroom. I would regularly mop the sweat from her face with a tepid damp rag, so as not to give her a chill. I watched her chest raise and fall with every rattled and labored breath. I was frankly afraid to fall asleep, for fear she would stop breathing. It was a long night...my mind kept wandering to how I was going to explain this to the EMS workers when they would arrive...because I was sure how this would end. A 80 something year old lady, bound in a triple wrap smelling of onions and camphorated oil. Not sure if they would have taken me to jail or to the loony bin. As the sun came up, her fever had broken as had her labored breathing. I cleaned up the evidence...I mean mess...while she showered. She ate for the first times in days...she had indeed turned the corner. Shortly after that she moved to Arizona and the dry air prevented her from too many lung episodes...I can only remember one or two occasions when I was called up for the onion poultice...it worked every time. So, I guess you will be adding onions to you H-E-B order, as a make sure. Newer twists to this exist on internet/Dr. Google Witch Doctor edition. I could tell you how it works but why spoil the fun...cause what are you doing anyway.
Speaking of old becoming new...blood transfusions of a recovered 1918 Spanish flu survivors were commonly used on people with the flu...there were no drugs to treat it...doubtful there were ventilator issues either... a 1940 creation. The FDA approved Houston Methodist Hospital (not just practicing but leading medicine..as the ad says) trial of plasma transfusions from Covid19 recovered patients. As this kinda sorta falls under experimental, who pays for this? Betcha it is not covered in the in or out of network plans that we have. Wondering if Eddie will go out of network to Methodist or submit to the onion poultice...what old is new...
Thursday, March 26, 2020
Cootie Shot
"Circle circle, dot dot, Now you've got a cootie shot!"
"Circle circle, square square, I don't have them anywhere!"
"Circle circle, square square, I don't have them anywhere!"
Gosh, how I long for those simpler times! Remember out on the playgrounds when Boy "X" would touch, tag, hit Girl "Y"? There would be the collective groan of the other girls...and "she has boy cooties" until she received the magic upper arm cootie shot....usually administered by the self annoted "girl leader". Of course, the boys would dissolve into laughter, until they were the one being chased and given the Cooties. Then, the game would reverse flow and begin again. We all survived numerous exposures to Cooties, lots of cootie shots and eventually decided that opposite sex probably were not so bad after all. How I wish the solution to our problem could be that simple.
As we are all staying at home these days, it gives you way too much time on our hand to collectively worry about the Cooties that are outside of the four (be it comfortable) walls. I have tried, not successfully, to not look at the News feed on my phone, nor on television, more than a couple of times a day. Pressing Refresh buttons does not count as exercise. So, that leaves a pair of idle hands... my, my, my...some how our current game of Cootie keeps sucking me back in. So, here I am currently googling what to do with 5-7 organic browned speckled bananas (thanks, HEB pick up, twice) and how to make a homemade ventilator from a CPAP machine. CPAP for those who do not snore or have sleep apnea is a bedside friend that provides continuous positive airway pressure (hence, the acronym CPAP) while you sleep. "Snuffy"(think Mr. Shuffleupgus from Sesame Street) for short at Pickle World. Eddie has been sleeping with me and Snuffy for almost 20 years. It is this love triangle that keeps me in the bedroom at night. Traditional insurance provided for a new one every 3-4 years, Medicare 5 years. As technology changes in CPAPs about every 4-5 years (glacial, I know), we have a current model and a back up. Prior to Harvey we had 4 old Snuffy's in the upper most reaches of our bathroom storage cabinet. Post Harvey, we are fit and trimmed down with to 2 models. Rats. If James Dyson can figure out in 10 days how to marry his fan and vacuum cleaners into a CoVent (yes, that is the name) ventilator, surely, there is some way to take a CPAP and make is both blow and suck....I have an old vacuum, medical hoses and duct tape, this should be a piece of cake, right? The browning bananas after you have made ice cream, cookies and banana bread are proving to be more of a problem. Brown bananas and/or homemade ventilator, GO!
Two Eddie moments, as I would not call them stories. Before Baby County Judge Hildago (we miss you, Ed Emmett) announced a stay at home order---she did not like the sound of the word "lockdown", Eddie had completed his shopping list for the furniture that will be part of his CoVid Collection...lots and lots of wood. Fearing that hardware and lumber yards would be part of the "lockdown" he has been up late at night finishing the plans and list. I told him to just order it and have it delivered from Lowe's or Home Depot. He said he need to look and feel his wood---all "Wood Whisper" kind of thing. Of course, to get wood here in the vehicles we currently have, my car is the logical choice. (yes, there have been pick up trucks -rental and to own googled in the last few days) 3 children's car seats would have be disengaged from the frame of the car and put into their storage bags. Guess who---see Harvey division of Labor for a hint. Two are easy, Lucy's typically stays in places as it take lots of wrestling and advance yoga moves to get it out. Two of three rows of seats down... I gave him a mask, disposable gloves--not for the wood but for the keypads to check out, duh, lysol and told him to be careful...cooties live on wood for x amount of time---and don't even ask about metal screws and knobs. Off he goes, no cell phone, no mask, no gloves---3 hour, 2 trips and 3 different stores, Eddie returns home and begins unpacking all of the wood. My neighbor's sewing room and long arm quilting machine overlook our driveway...she sends me a text asking what Eddie is building. I told her he was planting a toilet paper garden. Stay tuned...
Second Eddie moment. Are you aware that in an effort to give kids something to smile about Elementary teachers all over Texas are having car parades going by the neighborhood's of their school and students' homes? There have been several route posted on Nextdoor...even Waller ISD where Grace and Eli go to school are doing it, granted neighborhood is several miles, but kids are making posters honking horns and waving like crazies...typical day with the grandkids, just standing on county roads in traffic. There are also Neighborhood "Bear Hunts" around the Houston Metro area. It is based on a preschool/early primary book and song...Goin' on a Bear Hunt. Well, to support the hunt, you are to place a bear (or bears) in a window visible to the street and kids and parents can walk, drive, bike by and count the bears...look for your weekend on Facebook or NextDoor. I knew I had a bear--be it a 1987 Pink Care Bear--but while looking for it and possible other bears, I found my 60th birthday piñata (a 4 foot tall Karen Piñata). Well, long story short, I put the piñata and bear in the large foyer window...on Tuesday, on Wednesday I moved the dynamic duo to the dining room windows, today to the upper stairs bedroom. Actually, I was looking for the place to see it from the street without coming into the yard. Cooties can jump, i have been told. Eddie is lost in Wood World, so every time it appears in a new place, it scares him....kinda like "Boo" got you. Never gets old...gaslighting Eddie. May put it in the bed this weekend on my side. Who said "lockdown" doesn't have its laughable/teachable moments.
Hope this finds you all healthy...with lots of toilet paper.
Two Eddie moments, as I would not call them stories. Before Baby County Judge Hildago (we miss you, Ed Emmett) announced a stay at home order---she did not like the sound of the word "lockdown", Eddie had completed his shopping list for the furniture that will be part of his CoVid Collection...lots and lots of wood. Fearing that hardware and lumber yards would be part of the "lockdown" he has been up late at night finishing the plans and list. I told him to just order it and have it delivered from Lowe's or Home Depot. He said he need to look and feel his wood---all "Wood Whisper" kind of thing. Of course, to get wood here in the vehicles we currently have, my car is the logical choice. (yes, there have been pick up trucks -rental and to own googled in the last few days) 3 children's car seats would have be disengaged from the frame of the car and put into their storage bags. Guess who---see Harvey division of Labor for a hint. Two are easy, Lucy's typically stays in places as it take lots of wrestling and advance yoga moves to get it out. Two of three rows of seats down... I gave him a mask, disposable gloves--not for the wood but for the keypads to check out, duh, lysol and told him to be careful...cooties live on wood for x amount of time---and don't even ask about metal screws and knobs. Off he goes, no cell phone, no mask, no gloves---3 hour, 2 trips and 3 different stores, Eddie returns home and begins unpacking all of the wood. My neighbor's sewing room and long arm quilting machine overlook our driveway...she sends me a text asking what Eddie is building. I told her he was planting a toilet paper garden. Stay tuned...
Second Eddie moment. Are you aware that in an effort to give kids something to smile about Elementary teachers all over Texas are having car parades going by the neighborhood's of their school and students' homes? There have been several route posted on Nextdoor...even Waller ISD where Grace and Eli go to school are doing it, granted neighborhood is several miles, but kids are making posters honking horns and waving like crazies...typical day with the grandkids, just standing on county roads in traffic. There are also Neighborhood "Bear Hunts" around the Houston Metro area. It is based on a preschool/early primary book and song...Goin' on a Bear Hunt. Well, to support the hunt, you are to place a bear (or bears) in a window visible to the street and kids and parents can walk, drive, bike by and count the bears...look for your weekend on Facebook or NextDoor. I knew I had a bear--be it a 1987 Pink Care Bear--but while looking for it and possible other bears, I found my 60th birthday piñata (a 4 foot tall Karen Piñata). Well, long story short, I put the piñata and bear in the large foyer window...on Tuesday, on Wednesday I moved the dynamic duo to the dining room windows, today to the upper stairs bedroom. Actually, I was looking for the place to see it from the street without coming into the yard. Cooties can jump, i have been told. Eddie is lost in Wood World, so every time it appears in a new place, it scares him....kinda like "Boo" got you. Never gets old...gaslighting Eddie. May put it in the bed this weekend on my side. Who said "lockdown" doesn't have its laughable/teachable moments.
Hope this finds you all healthy...with lots of toilet paper.
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