Mr. Eddie Returns

Well, as I read our phasing back to a new normal, not to be confused with the M&M color code terrorist threat chart---soo last decade, we are somewhere between prephase 1 and post-phase 1, depending on where you are---in the country, county, city, or what have you.  Just like Cancer Doctors, Politicians and Pandemic folks don't like to talk about hard and fast dates, deadlines or "how long you have to live" or "how long you have to be in lockdown".  Somehow, I kinda liked to M&M threat chart-green means go, red means stop...lots clearer for us in the herd (looking for immunity in all the wrong places) to understand.  As I see it, we here in the 7-19 county region in what I would call a pre phase 1.  (see what I am talking about---depending on where you get your news Houston is a 7  (number of counties that touch Harris county?) or up to a 19 county area (I guess that is the range of the TV station with rabbit ears?)  We have to see a "flattening of the curve" - as I see it we are still climbing that curve on the uphill side.  We must continue to test---do not get me started on this one---this should be just like the pregnancy test at the dollar store...$1.00, pee on the stick at home red or green, and boom you have results.  Of course you can go to Target, Walmart, CVS Walgreens or any other place and get a more expensive one, but it is still works the same. We could even post to Facebook, Instagram, or where ever.   But I do not make or manufacture the test, if I did I would not be stuck at home blogging, cooking and wasting time.  We will continue to social distance, avoid gatherings of more than 10 people, wearing face masks, washing hands and all surfaces, no unnecessary travel, continue to staying home if you are considered a "vulnerable" person(s) (yes, we have checked that box) for the next 14 days to see if we stuck the landing on the other side of the hill.  Like I said, not sure if we are ready for declaring our intentions on Phase I.  Be that as it may, our Governor has indicated that we can begin reopening some things, with caution.  State Parks - as long as you are 6 feet apart, wearing face masks, with not more than 10 people - probably okay.  I would however resist the urge to eat on the picnic tables or use the grills. A word about masks.  Whether you have the bandana, coffee filter and rubber band dyi, the  homemade pleated, lined surgical style or the rounded guinea pig nose  dyi variety (shame on you if you have a N95(even if it was leftover from Harvey flood work) or a Amazon purchased medical looking one or box of them---those are for first responders and front line workers---medical or otherwise) ---next week will be a real test for us in Houston's resolve to be mask compliant.  It is suppose to be hot and humid, with temps in the high 80's.  To be effective against others germs they need to be pretty substantial and worn correctly (with some of the pictures I have seen, not necessarily a given)...I am looking at heat rashes on most folks chins and cheeks...and us glasses wears will have permanent fogged glasses.  We will not be practicing social distancing, our glasses will be too fogged, so we will be bumping into folks.  No rest for the weary and wicked.  Governor Abbott also is allowing for retailers to open for "to go" operations.  Hmmm, this should be interesting.  Operations that have an  robust online platform (boy, that and "pandemic" will be the "P" words in our kindergarten home school package for a while) can swing it if people have the money to shop for non-essentials.  However, there are tons of businesses that just have not gotten on board of the e commerce way of life. Don't worry there is a point to that statement, I will circle back before I am finished.   There was nothing specifically mentioned about the reopening of hair, nail, gyms, etc. until Phase 3---which in my calculations is a good 6-8 weeks for most of us---If we see an uptick in hospitalizations and infections, we have to go back to Phase I-kind of like a Monopoly Go to Jail Card---and start over.  Which bring me to Mr. Eddie returns.

A lifetime ago, when I had lots of hair and Texas Big Hair was a thing,  I struggled with getting my hair permed.  The texture said lots of time in the curling rods, with two sets of solution---but my hair would always be fried beyond a crisp and look like a brown wad of steel wool. My Mother's remedy for that was hot olive oil packs for several days post frying....ugh...then wait until it grew out and could be trimmed off.    After many bad experiences with the salons of the 1980's, Mr. Eddie began doing my perms at home.  My mom saved everything, so I had the rollers and papers.  I would get two boxes of TONI Home Permanent kits (it has been a while, but you girls all remember Toni Home Perms), and Mr. Eddie would slip into his puff sleeve shirt with the V neck, platform shoes, bell bottoms and a gold neck chain.  Apparently, we did not throw anything away either as these were popular closet items in the 70's when we were dating.  He would start by opening a bottle of champagne, putting on disco music, and seating me on the vanity in our bathroom on Tree Lane.  He would clip a towel around my neck, give me a glass of champagne and begin meticulously sectioning my hair and giving me what would be the best permanent that money could not buy.  Eddie is a ham---high school and college drama nerd, court room orator---so slipping into Mr. Eddie was no stretch for him.  We had our own home beauty salon for years, the kids would squeal when Mr. Eddie would come to town.  In later years, some of Lauren's favorite memories are of her Dad blow drying her hair. He would do the Brazilian/Kingwood Blow Out without becoming Mr. Eddie.   He is gentle, never in a hurry and would brush her hair until she was  almost asleep.  Permed hair is thing of the past, as is my thick hair.  Thin is in or has been since 2012.   While it does not have the same texture, color or thickness, it still grows like a weed and looks flat and frizzy all at the same time unless cut every 4 weeks.  Well, lock down happened, and my April appointment is now Memorial Day weekend.  Oh, Mr. Eddie can you come back for a visit?  ....I have bookmarked some You Tube videos on how to cut hair.  Right now my hair is sticking straight out on either side (think Bozo)  Mr. Eddie is not sporting a man bun/ponytail yet, but he has the long gray sweep back look of a Pentecostal preacher on Sunday during Revival, we don't have the platformed shoes nor puffy sleeved shirt any more, but we always have champagne chilling.  Do you think that Sally's Beauty Store - yes, that truly old school place that you buy all sorts of hair supplies that are not sold at Target or Walmart --- has the ability to do the "retail to go"..not really feeling that as a e-commerce place.   I know I can get everything I want or need from Amazon, but I would like to support my local businesses if I can.  See, I told you I would circle back.  I have some 60 year old barber scissors that were used on me as a child---the thumb holes are a little small for Mr. Eddie and I would like to upgrade to include some thinning shears along with some more Mr. Eddie like clippers.  Do you think I can get Mr. Eddie to do a facial and a mani/pedi?  Just thinking ahead, need to stimulate my local economy where I can.

Hope you are all well, keeping your curves flattened and your marbles firmly in their bag.