N-A-K-E-D

No trip to Iceland would be complete without a dip into the famous Blue Lagoon.  It makes all the lists for “must do” “unique experiences” “bucket “...so, of course, it would be in ours.   My initial research found that is was a very control entry system and about 40 minutes drive from the pier.  Our ship would be departing just after lunch time, so we determined that we would take the ship’s excursion to the Blue Lagoon at 7:45 AM on our second day in Reykjavik.  Can I tell you how thrilled Eddie was to be on a bus to go to a hot springs after getting up early?  

For all ship board excursions, you are issued a ticket, with meeting place, meeting time, what to bring, and any last minute instructions.  These tickets said to bring a shipboard towel and that you would be expected to shower

 N-A-K-E-D.  Hang on to that word while I elaborate further on the Lagoon.  We have taken in the waters as several hot springs in the US, which were natural in nature.  This is a little different.  This is actual a man made Lagoon that uses the mineral water that is a byproduct of a geothermal plant near by.  The water is 98-99 degrees, and contains lots of minerals and silica.  When you arrive you are given a plastic bracelet that is chipped to lock your locker, to receive your drink, to rent a bathing suit (yeah, some fellow read his ticket of NAKED, and assume we would all be naked in the Lagoon, so he did not bring one) and count you in and out.  Pretty sophisticated if you ask me.  You grab your slightly small white towel and are led to the appropriate sex dressing/locker room.  If you have paid attention to the written instructions, you should have a shipboard towel in your bag and your swimsuit in that same bag...as you are going to have to undress, shower and then put on your swimsuit....in that order, please.  No showering with your suit on...that does not pass inspection by the dressing room attendant—-The dressing room attendant then proceeds to tell you to remove all your jewelry as the mineral content will cause it to discolor.   Additionally, eyeglasses should not be worn in the Lagoon as the silica will scratch the lens.  And finally, the all important don’t put your  hair in the water because it will dry it completely out....yes, I would like one of those shower caps.  You say that putting lots of the provided conditioning goo on prior to putting on the cap helps avoid damage-I will goo up in the shower.  So the 20 women-young and old- that were a bunch of strangers on a tour bus were now faced with the disrobing, showering (yes, it was an individual shower with door), then getting into a swimsuit.  Since no one has a nationality stamp on their foreheads, you did not know where people were from until this moment.  The American  & Asian (that one was obvious) women  were the most reluctant, and that white towel they gave you upon arrival could only cover so much.  The European and South American are far less inhibited...however, there were several that should consider being a little more modest...but like I say, the towel can cover only do so much. It was a pretty interesting/comical 15 minutes...tick, tick, tick, time is wasting...Needless to say, the men have no problems like this and were is the water, without shower caps long before the ladies were on deck.  So, into the Lagoon....Steam is rising all around, but you can see lots of shower capped q-tips (gray haired folks) walking in the chest deep water.  Obviously, we have a lot of people that can’t connect the dots about the whole mineral bad for jewelry and eye ware and hair...while not specified, I am sure that the circuit board in your cell phone and go pro will be adversely affected by it coming along in the Lagoon.  They even sell the water tight phone bags (I-condoms) when you enter.  So, two days from now that device that you are using in the water will sudden develop issues...along with a self stick that no long extends quite right...imagine that.  Can’t fix stupid....and there was lots of stupid in the Lagoon.  

On to our soak...it was marvelous.  There are two swim up bars.  One for your drink-beer, wine, champagne, soda pop, smoothie or kid friendly slushees called Krap.  The second was a mask bar.  You are given a generous ladle of a facial or back mask to complete your experience....just don’t get it in your hair or beard. So, now you have a sea of folks walking around in the steam with white facial masks, a few that used their wrist band to up grade to a green seaweed masks, shower caps, drinks, and cell phones.  Talk about WhiteWalkers (GofT reference).  I don’t think I have snickered that much in a hot tub-ever.  The 2 hours went by quickly so we re-showered and dressed.  I discovered that there were tons of unused dressing rooms further back in the facility, so I used my much larger shipboard pool towel to dry off and dress with...virtually alone.  I think the staff gets a kick out of putting large groups on women in small areas and telling them to get naked and shower.  Can it Icelandic humor.  I also discovered a hair dryer “bar”, but I did not have a comb or brush, so it was a blow job for sure...my hair on this trip has been a vision for sure.  

We were back on board for lunch and sail away.  As it was just above freezing with a bitter wind I decided that the Helipad sail away for Suite guests was not on my dance card.  Eddie just wanted a nap after getting up early and a hot water soaking.  I took my deck blanket and sat with hot chocolate, binoculars and camera (which did not see the lagoon water)  looking for whales and puffins.  Brrrrr...

The Land of Fire and Ice

There is a saying that we enter life as an helpless child and we leave life as the same...helpless children....so, we have a lot of helpless children when it comes to being on a ship of older folks and frankly,  some 20-30 year olds chasing the GofT in the middle of the Greenland Sea/Iceland.  Good Grief.  While us Houston folks don’t know much about it, I remember from my childhood in North Alabama before Global Warming was a thing, bundling up.  My mother would dress us to go out in snow or cold weather.  After the scarves, tights, gloves, red (so she could spot us in a crowd) car coats, double pairs of corduroy pants had all been layered, we would announce that we had to go to the bathroom or decided not to go outside. Yup, it is kinda like that getting on and off the ship here in Iceland.  Don’t even get me started about the need to have your Sea Pass card ready to scan. So, disembarking in really cold weather is a thing...be prepared for long waits, in your multiple layers...getting warm while waiting...BTW the Admiral is wearing a short sleeved tropical shirt, with his fleece jacket...he is freezing but won’t admit that I was right when we packed that he might want a couple of his turtlenecks.  He did however buy a pair of gloves in Reykjavik...

Having done Alaska, Norway and the southern tip of South America, we thought we had seen it all when it came to cold climate natural beauty...until we arrived in Iceland.  It is a volcanic island, with more than 30 still active volcanos.  When the Vikings hit town in the 11th Century they used all the wood that was on the island (25% of the island coverage) to build houses and keep warm...cause, baby, it is cold outside.  So, you have miles of volcanic rocks covered in moss, snow capped mountains, glaciers, clear air and not much vegetation.  The country’s long range goal is to reforest 4% of the island...our guide said it is not near that number yet.  It is a stark beauty for sure...which made this area perfect for the North Wall and home of the Wildings of Game of Thrones.  While the actual scenery has some color to it, the show use a blue/gray/black filter to make it seem colder than it actual is...but stark, barren, they got that right.  There are glacier fed water falls, lakes and geysers galore.  As this island is volcanic, the geothermal energy is a major source of energy to heat...you see steam vents everywhere.  With the abundance of water, hydroelectric power makes this a perfect place for inexpensive power...but that is it...everything else is imported.  Yeah, they have some green houses for veggies, fishing, sheep but almost,everything else is tightly regulated as they do not want to introduce any pest or non organic to the mix.  This is organic in the extreme as there are not pest, bugs, spiders, snakes or diseases on the Iceland...too dang cold.  They are even fussy about the Icelandic horses—-they can be purchased here and taken off the island, never to return.  They have 80,000 horses, which on an island with a total population of 350,000 (humans not horses) suggest that you will see lots of horses when driving about...we did.  

Sometimes you have to work hard to figure out what to see and do in a port that is not looking at the City from a bus window.  Reykjavik was simple...the Golden Circle.  A 200 mile, 6 hour tour of the highlights of the region.  I booked a small group tour, as everything here is expensive, private tour was kinda a Hamilton in NYC ticket price thing.  As tourism is the number one industry here, (between bankruptcy, volcanos messing with European air traffic and cheap air fares from major cities) there are loads of small bus/vans along with tons of the big buses all marked with Golden Circle tours to choose from.  The Admiral likes 12 instead of 48 when waiting to get on and off, go to bathroom or hear what the guide is saying....herding cats...old cats.  

From early afternoon to 8:30 pm we drove through the country side...with spectacular right views of fire and ice...volcanic rocks, glaciers and such...freezing our undressed Texas butts off.  Our last stop was the Tingvellir National Park...it reminded us of the volcanic landscape of The Canary Islands, but in a cold climate.  The highlight was the split of the Tectonic plates...one of the two places in the world where there is a split between the two that you can see and walk on and between.  The NorthAmerican plate and the Eurasia Plate run the length of the island, but the big split is here.  The North American Plate face in the canyon is actual what was used for the North Wall on Game of Thrones.  

By the time we returned to the ship, (repeat of disembark drill, only the water was down, calf stretches uphill and children looking for sea pass card-24 degrees and stiff wind) had a stiff drink to warm up and grabbed a bite to eat in the buffet, as the restaurants were no longer serving, we watched sundown at 11:30 pm.  Yeah, we are almost at summer time, and 24 hours of sunlight this far north.  

House Pickle

If I could add the Cello and stringed opening  Game of Thrones’ music to this posting I would, it just seems ever so appropriate for our visit to the Northern shores of Ireland.  As we were on the Irish Sea, a mere 17 miles from the Scottish Coast on what the guide called an  unusually clear day, we could see for miles.  It was a spectacular day!  Except for my hair part which with the wind looked more like Cersei’s hair after her walk of atonement...for those of you non GofT folks...read really bad short hair day.  The opening shows all the lands of the Seven Kingdoms of the fantasy land created by George Martin and brought to life by HBO.  If you look at that fantasy land of the seven kingdoms’ map in its entirety, the largest country area is actually Ireland if you rotate it 1/4 to the right.  As loads of the action from the various years have been filmed in the winter here in the Belfast area, it has spawned a tourist industry that makes the centuries old natural landscape a Star performer.  When I booked this trip sometime back I was vaguely aware, but as my research and touring plan materialized, I realized  I planning a Game of Thrones Cruise.  While not billed as such (dumb on part of cruise lines if they want to capture a younger market) it did not take long for me to realize that I better get up to speed on the show.  George and Ed have read the original books of Martin and been fans since the beginning.  George has helped us keep up with the characters (you almost need a genealogical spreadsheet as that can be difficult to keep up with-date of death should have number footnotes as it is always grizzly) , and parallels to some historical events that the fantasy is based on so unlike a lot of folks in our age  group on board, we can speak GofT.  However, we did not bring the appropriate attire to go full on...the heavy pelt coats would feel pretty good right now as it is barely above freezing.

When I vet my touring company, I typically go Best..as in Good-Better-Best.  I have found that less than 5 stars on any reviewers website (and there are now so many) results in less than a memorable day.  I contacted my Belfast touring selection and booked about a year ago.  When I corresponded my list to the company, she shot back a note that said I would be taking the Game of Throne set tour.  No, I explained I wanted to see these natural coastal places, not some hokey movie set.  She explained that these places were the real movie sets. Okay, private car for two, deposit paid, GBP balance upon completion of tour.  Got it.  Oh yeah, please attempt to be first off the ship.  Got it.  

First off the ship, you say, with 3,000 people leaving the ship at same time of 11:00.  Not a big problem, but know the whole Cork/Rinkaskiddy and lines into the Casino thing, we were in position at 10:00 and were rewarded by being the absolutely the first off the ship-after the water trolley was taken off at 10:35.   That is how House Pickle rolls.  We met our driver, Micheal-a very Irish blue eyed bloat, with a heavy Irish accent.  The Northern Irish have a touch of Scottish brogue as the Scots came over the 17 miles of water and took lots of land back in the day (1600’s) much to the dismay of the Irish...but the Scots have influenced the dialect, for sure.  Eddie is already hearing impaired, never mind a strong accent...and there is no close captioning for our tours, so I am the translator.  Belfast and the Northern portion of Ireland (read Church of England) are  separate from the other parts (read Irish Catholic).  While the tensions of the old are not as visible now, the division still exist.  Micheal was disowned by his family 22 years ago for marrying a Catholic...not even allow to attend his mother’s recent  funeral.  Micheal shared (with a great deal of pride, I might add) that he had served during the entire Belfast filming process (9 years of winter time, not touristy time) as a driver for the “individual” stars.  As this was cast and support crews of literally thousands of people, almost every driver-bus, car or taxi- is able to make that claim.  All were in Belfast, about a 75 minute drive south of this North Coastline.  So, yeah, we picked Best...good call.

The heavy grey clouds, chilling wind in the Belfast port gave way to a pretty good rain storm....not like you all are having in Kingwood.  Yeah, even with time difference, I am keeping up.  10 inches...wow.  Michael said that Belfast can get rain, and the coast be dry...let’s hope so...I have already had wet underwear on this trip.  The northern coast line is called the  Coastal Causeway-think Pacific Coast Highway/Natchez Trace Parkway in Ireland.  Lots of historical and natural sites, surround by the most beautiful hills of green grass pastures, small white stucco villages and farm houses, dairy cows (yeah, Kerrygold Irish butter and cheese-we are looking at you), sheep/lamb as it is spring and all, yellow gorse bushes, white May flowers (Hawthorne), Horse Chestnuts with white candle flower stems.  The air here is “country fresh” as in manure and mown grass...takes some getting use to.  It was as if someone flipped a switch, the rain stopped as we approached our first stop.  This was the 18th century road to the home of James Stuart (not of Stuart of history, just farmer Stuart) with Beech trees planted by him that over the centuries have grown to form a tree tunnel...aka Dark Hedges or Kings Road.  Michael dropped us off on one end and retrieved us in the other.  The road has become so popular that it is now only for pedestrian, no buses allowed, along with no parking available.  This is very similar to Oak Alley in the Mississippi River plantations, only Beech trees.  Being a less committed fan than George or Ed, I was glad that Michael provided us with color photos of the scenes,being shot with who, when and where.  Interesting comparing the real scenery with the film footage....as some of the trees have fallen and been knocked over in storms, the open spaces where digitally enhanced for the show.  While the actual road is unchanged, there are “Game of Thrones” experiences around ever edge...there was a Dark Hedge Hotel, Bar and Experience just beyond, we had a Throne experience, but not the type they are charging for.  Beer for Bathroom anyone?

From there to the Causeway, stopping along the beautifully roughed coast line, cliffs, dramatic rock formations, the Irish Sea, Scotland in the distance.  It was a very memorable afternoon.  The crowned jewel of the coastline  is the Giants Causeway.  Part of the National Historical Trust, the mile long hike rewards you with rocks formations that looked as if they had been formed by a stone mason...thousands of steps, columns of wave formed stone...like a pipe organ...only much bigger.  While not part of the GofT, it was the big one on my list...and everyone else’s.  Not as crowded as one would think, but still more like Yellowstone and Yosemite with number and nationalities of the folks coming to visit...read selfie sticks, Asian tourists.  Here, Michael, who is a wee bit of a gossip had time to talk to the other drivers (bus, car, etc) that  grabbing a coffee waiting for their guests...apparently Belfast drivers had lots of time to be chummy during the filming as they were on call for 15 hour days...not much to do but grab a cup of coffee...no beer during work hours....and gossip.  Apparently, of all the buses that were gathered on the dock when we departed this morning, there were 4 buses from a company that had arranged to do a “private” not ship tour for 200 passengers.  Well, turns out that bus company did not have the proper forms and paperwork to be on the dock for pick up...oops.  So, that left 200 folks scrambling for plan B...and the Port Authorities voted the four buses off the island.  Again, Good Better Best.  That was a “good” plan that at last minute probably had to pay Best Pricing to correct.  If you start with Best, you save the cost of good.  Pickle logic.

During our day, we stopped at an Irish Pub that was gifted one of the carved wooden doors from the set.  There are apparently 10, and they grace pubs and restaurants all over the coastline...there is a tour based in getting all those stamps...no opportunity is wasted here.  Yes, they has the campy Game of Thrones pub area, but Michael taught us how to determine if we have had a “good draft beer”...it is all about the cream foam rings on the glass-similar to the wine legs,of red wine-and how to convert a lager drinker to a Guinness drinker.  Kinda like a Black and Tan, but not more than a jigger of Guinness in with a lager, increasing the mixture each time.  Hmmm, after a couple, my taste buds were numb...so I take a 1/2 pint of Guinness, please.  Michael also shared the history behind Black and Tan—-and why you never order that in Ireland, call it a Half and Half.  It is considered derogatory....look it up...I did.  

As we drove at 90 mph back toward the ship, we were told that the tour companies of Belfast have an unwritten agreement to have all ship board guest returned to the docks by 4:30, or 3 hours prior to all aboard.  Apparently, in an effort to “one up” each other, they would push the timeline...so...one day there was a Belfast moment...kinda a Houston traffic moment only in an area with 450,000 people and fewer roadways.  Or a Kingwood moment yesterday, as friends have shared horror stories of trying to get down Northpark and Kingwood Drive yesterday!  Yikes...Long story short, 300 passengers on the private/nonship tours missed the boat...and all the operators at their expense had to drive the 300 people to Dublin (97 miles south)...after that, they private operators take no chances.  Good to know.

Know that current weekend forecast for Kingwood/Atascocita/Houston is not that good....I am thinking of you all, please be safe...don’t take risk with street flooding.  

We are sailing to Iceland, there is a glaze of ice in the deck, winds have picked up and the outside doors have been closed to passengers...we are  headed to the North Wall-Winter is Coming! More whales and possibly puffins...and Night Walkers.

Sleet on Sunday

A chilly, sleet filled Sunday in Liverpool—-yes, we did a switch back and crossed the channel between Ireland and England...changing our money from Euros to British Pound Sterling, and prepared for a b-u-s ship board excursion.  This is what happens when one finally gives in due to the changes in itineraries and decides to press the easy button and book an on board tour.  Before leaving home, we had reviewed our options.  A bus highlights tour of Liverpool-no, Eddie hates driving in traffic on a bus and looking at the exterior of buildings.  It is Sunday so close by churches will not be open for lookey-loos.  Forgot to mention, the dock area here in Liverpool is reclaimed land, meaning the actual city is a couple of blocks/miles in...so walking, more difficult.  Good call considering the sleet and wind.  The Beatles tour-too campy for the Admiral...even if it included a visit to the Fine Arts College started by and endowed by Paul McCartney.   So, the Medieval Town of Chester —-that is his History Channel Brain remembering Chester as part of Alfred the Great’s favorite areas (yes, this is why he rules Trivial Pursuit) —-was our choice for today’s adventure.  Well, there were three buses headed to Chester.  Usually the 46 passenger buses only have 30 on board, so we can spread out in the back and have a row to ourselves and pass the camera back and forth.  Nope, not on these 3 buses, remember the part about a crowded ship, well, the buses were filled to capacity...no cruiser was told no, so off we go.  So, back of bus, behind 44 others...and a tour guide that was an old school teacher and it showed.  During our 60 minute drive—-each way—-we were told how the Highway was constructed-not the history of why, but how, in painful detail along with the flora, fauna and wildlife roll call.  We even were educated on how the charming hedges are groomed on roadways.  It was an in depth tour...can I tell you how pleased The Admiral was by the time we left the bus in Chester?  Our schooling was not complete, as the 46 of us strained to listen to her presentation off the bus.  Remember that we have 40% with mobility issues, and 50% with hearing aides.  So once My Boy Scout got his orientation of where the bus would meet us and where the shops and churches were, we struck out on our own.  The Chester Cathedral is classic Church of England/Anglican  cross shaped styling, in red sandstone blackened with age, pollution and probably coal fired chimneys...as sandstone tends to be soft, annual power washing is not a thing.  While not offered as part of the bus tour, as it is Sunday and all, we decided it was worth a stop.  Catholic Cathedrals tend to be open and free, beautifully adored.  As for the Church of England, they have no problem is requesting/suggesting a donation for visiting, with a cash register...no offering plates.  However, During church services all request that you refrain from picture taking, whether you paid or not...so no pictures but we managed a Christmas ornament for the collection.  There were Tapestries (like wallsized) available for purchase, I almost fainted when Eddie the stitcher asked if there were kits available that were to be completed.  Holy crap, Batman....an entire wall tapestry...did not see that one coming.  Thankfully, that is not something they offer.  Btw we do not have a wall to devote to a tapestry..medieval or otherwise....just saying.  Why is this not a surprise, Eddie is always about go big or go home...guess he wanted to bring big home. 

As this is the last night on board for some, a comma for others...394 others to be exact, we spent the afternoon assembling our toys (read support equipment) while leaving our clothes on hangers, so that we/they (room steward, Shaun and Alex, our butler, that we have nicknamed Lurch—-you rang) can change our rooms tomorrow in Dublin and start our GofT adventure in Northern Ireland and Iceland.  We also said goodbye to our cruising friends from Portland, Ed and Betsy.  They are setting out on a two week driving tour of Ireland...with Ed2 driving..wrong side of road, 75 year old less than flexible guy...glad we are staying on board!  Yikes!  I will take my chances with the White Walkers and the Night King from beyond the Wall.

Sunny Saturday

After the early evening sail across the channel to the Town of Cobh...the voyage lasted only 10 minutes, it was the de-camping and re-pitching of the Celebrity gangways, security check points, mooring ropes, and all that made it a two hour process, we settled that an early Saturday morning visit to Cobh would be just fine....however, there were a fair number of Irish Pubs to be had in this little village.  As this is an overnight, the crew was jonesing for a pint or two after very few days/hours off.  Funny, we have seen more of the staff and crew doing the mating dance this trip than we normally do.  Again, Gilligan and Gilligan, Captain (or fill in staff rank of your choice) and Mary Ann, MaryAnn and Mary Ann...there are no Thurstons,Loveys or Ginger among the staff and crew as the work has long hours, interesting living conditions, with limited contact from home...high maintenance folks need not apply.  We continue to marvel at the energy and grace that it takes to put up with the cruisers and their requests/demands...yeah, we looking at you Admiral.

Saturday found the air cold and crisp, but finally a blue sky without clouds.  This port is very easily walkable, with all the major things to see and do within a 3 mile round trip loop on foot.  By 9:00 I was laced and ready to roll.  From our window I could see the Cathedral (St. Coleman’s) high on the hill as most are with the dock areas, shops and homes flanking the streets below.  The Heritage Center is directly in front of the ship, along with the Train station should you wish to return to Cork.  The Heritage Center tells of the town history-the Lusitania sinking, Titanic, as this was its last stop before heading across the Atlantic, the immigrants that departed from here and arrived at Ellis Island and other US ports of entry.  The town has a Titanic museum which was created from the original White Star Cruise line terminal, the original Cunard ship terminal (now an escape room adventure-want to bet it is a ship sinking theme?), lots of shops and a good number of pubs.  Despite all the quaint and charm, Eddie voted to stay aboard....as the remedies from the last few green cross visits have not worked magic on the cough and sleep issues.  

I struck out on my own, climbing the hill with considerable ease...perhaps an optical illusion as the other folks were part of the 40% with mobility issues.  I felt positively empowered....St Coleman’s was everything you want in an Irish Catholic Church.  It was a lovely centuries old church with Flying Buttresses, Rose And stained glass windows, a golden altar area, massive pipe organ and alive with more than a dozen girls and boys making their first communion.  Girls in white princess dresses, white patent leather shoes, tiaras and boys in coats and ties, slicked up hair and a ton of parents, Grandparents and assorted relatives dressed for the occasion to look on.  So, an old church alive with the faith and hope for the future...without Eddie I could sit in a back pew (so Episcopal of me) and watch.

From church I made my way back down by discovering short cuts and stairs walks that probably have been around for centuries.  Without Eddie I skipped the pub crawl and opted for shops and the Heritage Center. The Center has the history but also two souvenir shops.  On the right are the hand woolen items, blankets, Irish crystal, and local (read expensive) artisan works...with  a flat rate of 29 Euro shipping to anywhere.  The Crowds were small, lines even less....to the left was Irish Buckees-shamrock, leprechaun, lambies, linen, Guinness, t-shirts, keychains, magnets, all things green and white proudly labeled From Ireland/made in China/India/Vietnam, etc.  and just like Buckees-long lines to the cash register and shoulder to shoulder folks from the ship with  lots of stuff for the friends back home.  Can you say Irish Luck?

Irish Pubs

Irish pubs are a real thing...as well as the colorful blokes that inhabit them.  After the shell game of ports, we finally had our 36 hour adventure in the Town of Cork and the Port of Cobh.  Ireland’s ports are ruled by the ebb And flow of the tides...if you are a Mussel lover (or the garlicky broth), you should be doing a happy dance.  So, our arrival at the industrial port of Rinkaskiddy(hello, home of Pfizer Drug Manufacturing) we were meet with low tides.  Guess that we were there, as it was a Deep Water Berth (according to Frank’s Channel 2 weather GPS)...and the drug business must be good, as they were dredging and placing piling for another berth...bang, bang, bang...quite the alarm clock as the pile driver started at first light.  The Admiral was not amused. 

As first shuttles started at 8:00, Eddie and I decided to be lazy and wait until 10:00 to get the shuttle into Cork...guess that was not the most original idea he has had.  Math problem of the day...physics can also be applied.  How long does it take to get 3,000 passengers and assorted crew members off a ship when there is one (as uno-happy Cinco De Mayo, y’all) gangplank at a 45 degree angle, uphill, two-three deck levels when more than 40% had medical assistance issues-walkers, wheel chairs, scooters, canes, oxygen tanks or bad knees.  Your answer?  Well, we waited in a line that started in the Martini bar, circled through the casino-needless to say there were no powder puffs available for fast track of Suite people.  Powder puff squad was busy carrying the various folks uphill.  A side bar, not related to the math problem -  we are not sure of if it was the seaweed, the dredging operation, drug company waste, or ship sewer issues, but Eddie look one sniff and declared this a Phee U port...as the smell was not the green grasses of Ireland and was two steps below the methane from the cows.  So, at 10:30 we boarded the bus, 35 minute to Cork ride and by 11:05, we set off for our self guided, walking tour of Cork.  Easy right?  In the Good ole days of cruising, before cell phones, app crap, and all, the paper fairy would visit you at night and delivery the daily activity sheet and a information guide to the port with a walking map and points of interest.  Nope, not even if you ask...and the local Rinkaskiddy Chamber of Commerce or Pfizer employees were not on deck to hand out maps. Since I had previously inquired, I had downloaded a walking guide on my cell phone the night before.  As we set off, I opened the app to a “Sorry, your cell company does not play well with our cell company” statement.  No text about additional charges will apply, just a No Service scrolling on the upper left hand corner of my phone.  Guess Verizon is not everywhere you want to be.  So, our self guided map/appless tour became an Admiral Eddie special-historian and never in doubt kind of guy that he is.  We did what the early pre-Viking settlers did, follow the River Lee.  Yup, good old Celtic/Viking common sense.  Build your town/churches on the river edges.  So, for 3-4 miles we made our way through town exploring the churches (3 old ones) lighting candles and praying for a dear friend who is a cancer warrior continuing her battle  along with Lauren and Drew’s dog, Cali who is in the sunset season.  

By this time, the Admiral was jonesing for a pint of Guinness....as there were far more pubs than churches, it was not a difficult task.  The Admiral is always waxing poetically about the Irish pub mystic, so I let him pick as there were lots to choose from....on Sober Lane...seriously, pubs on Sober Lane...there is that witty Irish humor and all.  He selected the Charles Pub with an exterior that said “I have been a pub longer than the US has existed”...the Europeans always seem to have such attitude about us young upstarts in the US when speaking of history and tradition.  So, we opened the door to Charles and found it was only slightly larger than our suite on board.  The bar area was covered in old church pews, and an assortment of chairs and tables were in the window and what little floor space there was.  We saddled up to be bar, and were promptly offered friendship with James/Jimmy the resident Pub Fly.  James was already several pints into the day, he flattered the ladies, sang Irish pub songs and basically was waiting for the next tourist to buy him yet another pint.  As we watched him reel in his mark, the wife of said mark (also a cruiser) shared that this bar, small and “historical” (read grimy) as it may be...it is considered Trip Advisor’s 4.5 star #1 Pub in Cork...really?  Apparently, on Friday and Saturday nights this 350 sq ft becomes the number one place to be because of bands that are booked....and there are over 100 people crammed in....smoking, drinking, dancing...Fire Marshall, anyone?  And I thought our ship was crowded, particularly at the bars.  Go figure...the Admiral went to the bathroom before we departed and remarked that it has probably not seen a mop or cleaning for decades as there was a fine patina of bodily fluids.  Despite James best effort for pictures and songs with us, The Admiral decided not to be featured on James Facebook page.  We gathered our things and made the slow trek back on board ship...As they say, what goes down must come back up.  The math problem still held and we were as long getting back on as off only the ramp went downhill..  Guess we won’t be going back for the band at Charles Bar later tonight even if we are here overnight.  

Deja Poo Or Groundhog Day

It is Friday, Day 10 on our cruise to Ireland and we have finally arrived in the land of leprechaun, rolling green hills dotted with sheep or content dairy cows, rocky wild Coast line and cabin toilets that don’t work properly.

Hmmm, I seem to remember another cruise that had toilet issues....China 2018.  Then it was just our toilet that didn’t give butt hickeys, but today’s problem appears to be more wide spread, like the entire port side of the vessel.  Guest services suggests that it maybe sometime before they have the problem in hand.  Let’s hope so as the Admiral will become quite cranky if the throne room is not able to accommodate his royalness.  Thankful, we are on the top of the ship with the Sky Lounge bathroom a short walk away.  Who knew I would get my 10,000 steps in between here and there before disembarking for Cork.

We have been to the town of Cobb/Cork before, however we did not actual see Cork, we toured the Ring of Kerry.  So, as we are in Cork on both legs of this journey I had set out to correct that as Cork has a long history as a port town-even before the Vikings. It also has some great churches to visit.   When planning our days, I do lots of research and book pretty far (300 days out) in advance for private touring options.  We were originally here tomorrow, Saturday, but after three different itinerary changes , our original Whiskey walking tour was not available on the days that we were scheduled to be in port.  As we are not the only ship in port, the other options had been snapped up.  Plan B as we have a private tour for part 2 in Cork, Kinsdale, Charles Fort in 10 days, we decided on a Ship Board excursion.  A cooking class, with market shopping, and seaweed collecting. Yeah, I know, but we are kitchen nerds.  Four days ago that was cancelled due to lack of interest among our fellow passengers...imagine that, of the 3,000 other folks on board, there are no aspiring chefs.  So, on to the Plan C.  We decided to take ship board tour to Cork, which included the Jameson Irish Whiskey tour...in the afternoon, so Sleeping Beauty did not have to get up early.  But not before we had another onboard change of locations for the Port of Cobh.  Celebrity was kicked out of the quaint Cobh cruise terminal.  Yeah, 5,900 big boat cruisers + 3,000 medium boat cruisers = 8,900 cruisers, plus crews in a quaint Irish town.  We are currently docked 35 minutes away in the less than charming Rindaskiddy industrial port, where nothing is close...but they will have buses (at Celebrity’s expense) to take us to Cork and back.  When that happened, Plan C promptly feel apart as most all that had booked for $79.95 a head bus tour  determined free was better.  Collapse of Plan C.  Oh yeah, as part of our 36 hour overnight in Cobh, they will move the ship this evening at 6:30-8:30, so the remaining hours will be in the quaint Cobh port.  So, we have downloaded a walking map of Cork, grabbed our brolly and jackets as it is cold and damp with a good chance of rain...and will be bus bound for the town of Cork.  

Gee, I hope the rest of our stops are not as adventure filled as this one has been...I guess I am getting too old for fire drills....or potty drills.  

 L