You know how a song from your past will just randomly pop into your head, and your wee little brain is stuck in a never ending loop of said song? Well, on our first travel adventure during the current Pandemic Code Red, that childhood ditty has been stuck in my head. To refresh your memory (not about the Pandemic...cause if you need refresher about that...you might consider another type of testing...nasal swab not necessary...just sayin’)...Eddie and I have been pretty much housebound since March. With each passing week, our paranoia about doing anything that involved exposure to people, even folks we knew, has increased. Planned trips were cancelled, deposits refunded, shopping was limited to pop your trunk pick up or point and click and eating out meant we ate on the patio...with the lone exception on the 19 day trip to Montana that was planned to complete our 6 weeks away from the Houston summer heat. If it was just me and Eddie, we would have pulled the plug on that in June (last cancellation with no penalty date)-but this was the family portion of the trip. The 3 adult (George, Lauren, Drew) and 3 kids (Eli, Grace, Lucy) quivering lips, and sad puppy eyes at the mere whisper of cancellation kept us from doing a lift and shift on dates until next year. So, despite a whole lot of reservations about flying, sleeping in strange beds, being around people we did not know, we left our Covid free cocoon yesterday morning and headed for Glacier National Park in Montana. Talk about jumping into to the deep end of the pool...
We arrived at Bush Terminal C at 9:15 AM for a 11:15 flight. I can say without a doubt that we have never planned, discussed and packed for a trip quite like this. My carryon flight bag had Chub of real Wet Wipes, 10 pairs of disposable gloves, 6 disposable mask, 4 cloth masks in two styles, eyeglass covering protection goggles, 2 buckets hats with detachable face shields, 4 splash and dash hoodie disposable rain ponchos (No, I did not buy them for the trip, they were leftovers from trips to a couple of rainforests), several 3 oz bottles of hand sanitizer (in case we just had to bathe in it-kinda like exposure to radioactive material or Ebola), a can of nuts and protein bars, so that we did not have to purchase food from the airports, my iPad with a plastic wrap on the cover, charger cord also wrapped in plastic, and our travel materials. Our actual wearable wardrobe is pretty limited...there is a washer, and Eddie had determined that we would only eat out if it was outdoor seating...so no formal night on this land cruise. My regular suitcase had a giant ziplock with Clorox wipes, Lysol spray, more hand sanitizer, wet wipes, face masks and gloves. There was also zipper bag of bear bells and lifeguard whistles, which will be joined with my $50 can of bear spray that I have reserved for pick up in Whitefish. Side note...bear spray is different that personal pepper spray...while both are pepper sprays, the bear spray works at a long distance...kinda like ant vs. hornet spray...you kinda don’t want to get that close to the bear with personal pepper spray to make it work...makes sense...maybe everyone knew that, but it was an ahh moment for me. Amazon, Dick’s, even Academy were all out of stock of said 50 ft. Bear spray-must be the Protesters around the country using it on theIr evenings out in the various cities round this country...so I had to locally source my bear spray, complete with attractive holster. Apparently, it is not advisable to have to dig in your purse or backpack for the can of bear spray if the bear is headed for you. My auxiliary small suitcase is more of my rolling Mary Poppins stuff for the kids...a couple of collapsing coolers and the snacks favored by the kids that were not available on the Safeway grocery app that I preplanned and purchased our groceries from...here again, popping the trunk To avoid in person shopping. Eddie planned for himself—I know, you are shocked—-to include a couple of heavy hardback books...lots of just in case medications, for stomach, head, ear, throat, lung, blisters, sunburn, bug bites... the medical equipment to include thermometer, pul oxy finger machine, snuffy, hearing aide equipment and his electric toothbrush-yes, 19 days and he is afraid that his teeth or gums will develop disease if it does not come along. Has tooth decay been added to the list of Covid symptoms? It is so hard to keep up these days. Remind me again about spontaneous travel adventures in your golden year. So, here we are with 2 large suitcases, two small suitcases and my carryon flight bag at Terminal C. Up the ramp, no crowds, no curbside check in, no honking cars or traffic cop...hummmm, this is different. Typically Terminal C is busy, regardless of time of day, nope, only one side of the terminal was open, your luggage tags are printed at a touchless kiosk, no lines at TSA-plain or with precheck...most of the shops are closed, some of the food concessions are still open, but is it all grab and go. The Terminal and gates have probably never been as clean and clutter free, but it was sad but also extremely entertaining. As we were out of C1, we decided to sit down in a row of seats on the wall at the beginning of the concourse to C1-21....it was the best seat in the house for people watching...and mask wearing. Which brings me to my song....Head, shoulders, Knees and Toes, knees and Toes...Eyes, Ears, Mouth and Nose...I have mentioned before that if your are wearing a mask, do it right. If it is mandatory, just do it, don’t complain. It is like a seat belt...I know that took some getting use to, it was not comfortable, particularly when they added the shoulder strap, but just get over it and do it, it is for your own good...or those around you. The folks in the airport need to remember where their nose, mouth and chin are...your mask needs to cover all those things (mouth and nose) if they do not, adjust the mask or get a bigger mask (yeah, big bubba - your chubby chipmunk cheeks and double chin are not covered by that kids mask, you are not fooling any of us) Additionally, do not give your child bubble gum when wearing a mask...chewing gum, perhaps, but no bubble gum, particularly in a paper mask. As for the knees and toes...fluffy house shoes are not good pandemic foot wear....what are you thinking...I know the Kardashian girls do it, but they are on a private jet...and there is that kid trying to get the bubble gum out of his mask and slinging it on the floor, and don’t get me started about folks sneezing, If you are going to wear those form fitting, knee length athletic outfits, check the mirror first and make sure your pandemic pounds are not showing. My goodness..I did not know that material had that much stretch in it. Eddie and I enjoyed to show, but of course, we had to go to the bathroom before boarding the plane. After all that has been written about toilet flushing, we had actually discussed our strategy for the trip. Of course, that went out the window when we decided that we needed to go before we got on the plane. Guys have it easy....me, however, I just about had a panic/heart attack when the potty stall I selected (and there was a process for that) auto flushed when I enter and shut the door, again when I was in hover mode, and again as I departed. Could not decided if I needed to break out the wet wipes or go full immersion in the hand sanitizer before returning to our designed area. BTW, IAH bathrooms are far superior to Denver’s, even with the fast to flush toilets.
Eddie and I had purchased (as in a revenue ticket—-I am sure United’s thank you note is in the mail) first class tickets for this trip, not so much for butt in bucket time, as the “social distancing” that came from being in the front of the plane, with a curtain to stop the dreaded sneezing covid cooties from attacking us. We are in 1A &1B...our “planned” strategy was to be last on, first off, sanitize our seat area, and not accept food or drink unless it was bottled water. Some of you have traveled with Eddie, we all know and accept that “last” is not in his vocabulary. Even after all of the discussion, I thought this time would be different. Nope, nope, nope...the boy almost mowed down the guy in the wheelchair and the service man in uniform to get onto the plane first...while he did not say a word, I saw those looks from our fellow passengers...”Ken” is in the house...or at least on the plane to Denver. Speaking of Ken behavior, we had a true “Karen” on the plane. As we were on early, we had a front row seat to the action. “Karen” and her 3 pre teen and teen children boarded the plane. “Karen” was maskless, with her cell phone in her hand. She jammed the screen of the cell phone into the flight attendant’s face and exclaiming “This says I do not need to wear a mask”. Since we all electronically signed the “I agree to wear a mask on the plane” and “I have not have covid in the last 14 days” pledge, the poor flight attendant was caught off guard and said, “oh, okay, sure”. Her 3 kids, had masks on, under the nose or on their chins, but had masks on...a few minutes lasted, the supervisor and gate attendant approached her and ask her to bring her documentation and accompany them to the front of the plane. Once out of cell video camera range (looks like United has learned those lessons, no dragging or physical assault...times are tight, they can’t afford negative press or lawsuits). Her documentation was copies of the Constitution and Bill of Rights on her phone...she aggressively challenged those in authority that it is not stated that she had to wear a mask, but could carry a gun. Yikes! In their best and calmest happy but firm grown up voices, they asked if they could get her children so she could be escorted off the plane with them. United training during shutdown, I guess. “Karen” backed down, snatched United paper mask and put it on, only until she reached her seat. Her kids had pulled up their masks, had heads down in their phones...my guess is they are use to it. To answer your question, I did not get a picture for our Montana album...there are enough wild animals in Montana...Karens are becoming way too common.
Lauren and fam arrive in a hour, the kitchen calls....Goin’ on a Bear Hunt.....
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