There is no place like home

Gosh, I wish I was Dorothy with ruby red New Balance tennis shoes and could click my rubber heels together and go home without having to spend 3.5 hours on a train, 3.5 hours in Cabs and 3 hours in an international airport, 10.5 hours on a plane and 2 hours in a Customs/renew your Global Entry card line...not to mention the 70 pounds of luggage/2 suitcases I will be rolling, lifting and otherwise messing with...and then there is Thurston, the Admiral.   This is the downside/cleanup committee of international travel.  The party is over, you have to go home, with your clothing and luggage in not the same well packed and organized state as it was 28 days ago...not to mention all the rat holes we have jammed dirty clothes into.  

So, to conclude my travel journey for this adventure, I thought I would go Houston Chronicle and do the By the Numbers recap of our travels..

We have been gone 29 days and traveled a combine total of 12,478 land and nautical miles (I did the math), with an additional 935 land miles in tour travels (also known as butt in bucket miles).  We have walked over 110 miles and climbed over 2,500 steps both on ships, hotels, in churches, gardens and you name it,  we have travel on 12 different modes of transportation (including a 15 gauge tiny steam engine antique railroad) We have made over 1236 pictures, with 250 that are destined for the highlight reel.   Together, we have read 24 books....Eddie’s are Pulitzer material, I read trashy murder books with the exception of one Iceland historical novel based on a true story (Thanks for my homework assignment, Linnie P).  We have visited 4 different countries, with a total of 9 ports.  We have switched in and out of 4 different currencies, dollar, euro, krona, British pound sterling-almost a daily thing.   We have a pound ziplock of  mixed coinage, which I keep a little of since,it comes in handy for restroom stops that are not part of the beer for bathroom program. The rest of this heavy metal is in Eddie’s dress shoes in a ziplock bag.  

Of the 29 days, 24 were spent on ship board, 4 in an unaircondtioned Hotel in the Lake District, 1 in a Hilton with AC.  Eddie has had a cough, cold, ear infection for 27 days, and sleeping without Snuffy for 19 days.  (I will let you guess how many nights of sleep I have enjoyed). There were no guns used on ship or hotel stays....tempting, but no guns. We have slept in 4 different beds, and/or on 3 sofas...three guess who did sofa time.   We had 7 separate trips to various drugs stores in 4 countries.  Only one stinging insect due to open window (see part about  no AC and sofa sleeping).  

We have seen/driven by/observed in the distance 72 churches, cathedrals or buildings that were previously centuries old churches but have been repurposed.  We have visited 9, and lit candles/given thanks and prayers for others in the Catholic Churches, plain old prayers in the Anglican ones, ‘cause we speak Anglican prayer book...interesting fact, here in the Lake District most of the Anglican churches are named for Catholic Saints, with only 2 what are called “Jesus” Churches, with Jesus in the name.  We have seen 7 different wedding in various stages...the Brits do know how to dress for an occasion.  The ladies in their best, with hats and such cocked on their heads, uncomfortable shoes and a wide range of tats on foot tools, calf muscle, upper arms...everyone sports one.  The gentlemen dress nicely, and the kids all look as if they were out of magazines.  Brides are brides, beautiful regardless of where in the world they are from.

As for foods and drink.  We have enjoyed 247 cups of cappuccino, 37 cups of random restaurant coffee, 7 cups of hot chocolate with whipped cream,  (Iceland) 6 French press pots of coffee with none from Starbucks.  Of the 247 cups of cappuccino, I went and retrieved 198 of them from the various coffee bars..on board ship, in hotels, or wherever.  Room service did not arrive hot enough for the Admiral.  As we are in England and all, we have had  6 spots of tea to include the English favorites, green and chamomile.  We have consumed a lot less liquor than one would have assumed, being there was no driving or charge (liquor package)...same for wine for most of our travels.  Funny, how little you drink when you don’t have to pay (point of purchase) for it.  We even left an expensive bottle of champagne, and 2 bottles of Chopin vodka unopened in our suite when we left. What,  you left 7 pounds of liquor behind!  Outrageous boarding on treason, I know, but with full baggage, and breakable bottles, we decided to cut our losses...the cost of dry cleaning and new suitcases was the deal breaker.  While here in the Lake District, we get the love of the pint of beer, it is about $6.50, with a mixed drink along about $15, wine falling somewhere in between...oh yeah, dram pours and all...no long pour tall glass, you pay heavily for the privilege of drinking.  Oh yeah, brits do not drink fast...unlike us Americans...we be Viking/Cajun/Frat boy drinkers.  We have visited 16 pubs (Beer for Bathroom Program)  for Real/Traditional Ale (not pasteurized-which is a real thing here), bitters, Porter, stouts, lager and a cider or two...which brings us to the grand total of 47 public restrooms we have visited, not including those on ship or in hotels...When in Rome, do as the Romans...we have sampled the local food ranging from oysters, mussels, fish and chips, salmon smoked or grilled, Cumbria sausage, bacon roll, lots of lamb, beef and ale pie, mushy peas and ploughman’s plates.  Eddie draws the line at Indian food-he only likes a couple of curries and naan...hummus...maybe.  The English breakfast of English bacon, baked beans, black pudding  and fried bread will never catch on at House Pickle.  Cumberland sausage—-is simply not as good as Texas sausage.  Eddie  being man sick and all has managed to lose 2 belt notches (7-10 pounds) while I have probably added 5...pounds not notches.  So, Net -2, I can only hope.  

We brought along our brollies, and rain jackets  daily with threatening skies, but only saw rain on us one day...whale watching, of course.  Irish Pickle luck.  We have experienced two full moons, 18+ hours of daylight, and no northern lights....only the flash just at sundown when we are on the ship....you have to watch carefully as it is just at the exact moment that the sun drops totally into the sea.  The weather has been cooler than most crossings, with weather that we had no clothing for-not even at home in the upstairs closet ...snow and wind in Iceland, to partly sunny and partly humid...so with windows open...fan on.  The packing gurus tell you, only bring half of what you laid out...did not listen, so that would be part of the 140 pound issue...of course, there is a number of things that will have to be washed without being worn as they suffer from ship funk.  As this Lake District is Home to a wide variety of outdoor sports...fell (it is a rocky hill that can be climbed without equipment in a race) running/climbing, mountain biking, marathon (ran into 2—did not participate, but applaud those at hours 7),  road biking, motorcycling, kayaking, beck fishing (beck is a stream) General all purpose hiking, or just old people with the collapsable fancy walking poles to take advantage of handicapped queues....the dress is very Colorado.   Thurston does not have any of that style apparel, and probably will not acquire it anytime sone.  As for me, the stretch yoga/athletic look and racing back top....no....sack of potatoes comes to mind.  So, we will continue to be the fashion trend setters we always have been...expect no change.  Tropical shirts with and without bold print..regardless of time of year...or weather.  

We have had 7 confirmed (no Eddie upgrade) sightings of whales and dolphins, along with hundreds of sea birds. We have attempted countless (243 to be exact) pictures, but have on about 10 that are any good.  We have seen gaggles of geese, swans and just a few mallards -we have more of those dumb quacks at home.  We have seen probably 50,000 sheep, along 10,000 cows-dairy and beef—(no mad cow-if you don’t count Eddie) while touring the various countrysides. There have been no goats-hillside, yoga or farm.  We have seen 4 bunnies while here in Beatrix Potter Land, none had the little blue jacket on, so no Peter sightings.  There have been 493 dogs, with 78 of them sheep herders working the hills.  There is even a cute sheep and dog logo shop called Herdy.  The dogs  all have been welcomed into all the pubs, stores and restaurants.  There were no support animals on board ship for the first time in a long time.  There have been only 2 cats that we have seen here while strolling....so, one would surmise that the U.K.—England and Ireland is more of a dog nation.  RIP Grumpy Cat.  For you military wonks, there have been 4 RAF fighter jet lake fly overs while we have be in the area.  No base is close by, but we are only a stone’s throw from the Irish Sea, which you can see from most of the mountain tops...keeping the oceans safe.

We have watched a total of 5 hours of TV or movies...a zombie apocalypse World War II movie-guess who picked that! And another part of two different movies that we deemed even more stupid than WWII/Zombie edition...there was virtually no news watched, however, I did read the Chronicle online every couple of days to keep up with news at home.  Did not really miss anything, however, we will binge watch the rest of GofT when we return....since the scenery is fresh in our brains and camera chip.  Internet has been a really early morning thing regardless where we are as the sheer volume of folks holding a device is truly amazing.  While I do bring my phone when we are out, more for pictures, I don’t mess with it when experiencing new things.  Seriously, if you want to look at your phone, stay home.  The over 60’s are as bad as the 20 somethings.  As power/plugs vary from country to country, I have used an assortment of 3 different/3 of each type adapter, along with 2 iplugs/cords and a camera battery charger.  The power brick weighs 4 of the 140 pounds of stuff we have brought along.  Gee, I miss my chair with the power cord attached!  

This last paragraph is from high in the Sky.  We are clicking our ruby red sneakers aboard United Flight 879 from Heathrow to IAH....there is no place like home, there is not place like home, there is not place like home....is it working?