With Fall finally in the air in Houston, and a Cat 5 in Gulf, we have packed our 5 bags and are bound for Rome. We have booked a 16 day trip back across the ocean to Tampa. So, in Pickle style I am inviting you to join me for the good, bad and ugly….and the inevitable Eddie stories.
We typically make this “run” from Florida to our destination in the Spring, since the ships move their “assets” in the Spring to the Mediterranean. (Don’t you love when I talk “ship”? For people of a certain age…ultimate dirty talk.) It allows your/our bodies to adjust to the time difference in a very civilized manner….if Eddie chooses to miss bingo or an enrichment speaker for a nap, all is well. So, why are we changing our well worn rut? Our Portland based cruise buddies contacted us two years ago and begged us to book this TA (Transatlantic) cruise. Eddie said, sure! Well, a lot of water has passed under the bridge since then (read we are two years older-and all the joy that brings). So, this should be a real study in international travel over a certain age. We still get high marks on North American travel. As my Mom would say, “Aging is not for sissies”. Looking around the airport, and our plane, there is are a lot of people that have crossed over the imaginary speed bump (Peter Attia says 75) looking dazed and confused. Eddie calls them Mouth Breathers. Yes, you know the ones standing in the middle of the airport concourse or airplanes aisle (Eddie’s personal favorite) mouth gaping open, wondering where they were and how they got there. Kinda like a computer/ipad/phone freezing up and you have to do a hard reset. Once the reset is complete they shuffle on.
We have always found people in the airport (our fellow passengers) to be the best people watching ever. I am sure we are being watched and whispered about, too. Goes with the territory. There were plenty of the usually suspects. You know fuzzy bedroom slippers to travel, support animals with their Amazon “official” support vest, large stuffed Squishmellos animals, and those that clearly do not have any notion of what the number two means. Two as in one rolling bag or Duffle and one personal item like a backpack. Just because Ten starts with a “T” does not mean they will allow you to board with all of those things. Queue security personnel and gate attendants and the debate over the number two.
Newark’s people watching was outstanding. Most of you know our habit of using our United mileage to “purchase” or “upgrade” our tickets. Eddie’s years of faithful Continental/United usage has given us certain lifetime status to be able to use our points for actual airline perks. I am sure the rules will change at some point, but we enjoy that perk often. This trip we are traveling Polaris class-they renamed First/Business class. Why? Well, their travel credit cards and two free United Club passes have become so popular that United had to build another United Club (major hubs only) for their highest paying customer. Polaris. Not as crowded, better food-you can actually get hot fresh food off of a menu. Eddie was smitten. One of our fellow Polaris peeps provided the best of the day in people watching. He was traveling with his wife (or travel companion, as some of these folks do not marry, just travel together to avoid the single occupancy upcharge). She was rather unremarkable. He, however, was not a normal over 70 traveler. He had close cropped hair, dyed electric blue. His eyes had iridescent blue contacts…kinda like the LaBuBu doll that was clipped to his belt loop. I almost went up and counted the number of pointed teeth on the guy’s plastic face, him not the doll. If you do not know what LaBubu or Lafufu dolls…you do not have granddaughters of a certain age. There are several websites to include Wikipedia that will give you the 411 on said craze. Short version-this generation’s troll doll with fur, Thanks to Lucy, I have learned the Tao of LaBubu and know where to find them in Kingwood. Could they be knock offs, absolutely, but they scratch her itch. The magic number of pointed teeth (9) makes it a LaB not a LaF. Subscribe to my newsletter for more grandparenting gems like that one.
After two non ATC or TSA events at two major Hubs for United, we made the crossing at 35,000 feet. No drama or late planes. While there were lots of fasten your seat belt moments-yes, there was turbulence, and the charming (insert eye roll) Italian cabin steward that felt the need to run in his finely made Italian made shoes up and down the Polaris class aisle that prevented us from using the reclining seats, two pillows, three blanks and the eye mask or bath shoes to sleep. It also must have been his first time to use a microphone…back up, dear. Even in Italian is was too loud, too muffled and prone to feed back. We arrived in Roma at 7:35 AM.
Our cruise buddies tipped us off that we should follow the black arrows (Italian code for Ugly Americans) on the airport floor to the custom area. While all arrival gates appeared to terminate in the customs area, we have been trained to look for signs that reinforce our movements. Glad we had been tipped off or we would have been the Mouth Breathers looking for our reset button. They also mentioned that we should take our time getting to the baggage claim carousel as the Italians are not in as big of a hurry as us Black liners. Yeah, right again. We could have had a leisurely cup of cappuccino and pastries or a gelato before making our way to the baggage claim area. Not our Eddie, he likes to be first at the luggage shoot. He foolishly believes that the Orange priority tags actually mean first off the plane. Yeah, Eddie, Santa Claus is coming soon, too.
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