Do you Pineapple?

 As I may have mentioned before, this voyage is a lot of been here done that locations.  Cartagena is no exception.  So, while our fellow passengers are making the long pier walk to the historical port city…historical means a naturally defensible harbor, city walls, a fort up on a hill.  If your bingo card had Spanish architecture with a hint of Moorish influence, you can mark that square, too.  We decided to sit on our port side balcony and watch the activities.  First up was the ever popular ambulance arrival.  There were three, a record for this early in the cruise.  Next, was the quick about face of those who are on walkers, non motorized wheelchairs, and mobility challenged.  They saw the three blocks to the end of the pier area walk and got right back on board.  Last, was our favorite of the day.  The excursion to learn how to sail.  Let the giggle fest begin.  Eddie being Navy and all, we have done this, 50 years ago.  So, fast forward, would we do this again right now, nope.  But there were 8 hardy souls about as fit as us who tried their nautical abilities in 8 small sailboats, larger than a sunfish, maybe a two person sailboat, with a rudder and impressive sail.  Perhaps if this activity started a little farther out in the marina away from the yachts and large sailboats it would not have been as humorous.  The beginning sail class had to tack (move the sail back and forth) to move forward and avoid the other 7 boats…and two motorized zodiac inflatables that flanked the class.  The instruction before they began was obviously vague.  There was standing up, fanning the boom vigorously while standing to created forward motion, lots of near collisions, strong tipping motions to either side.  Thanks goodness all had their Spanish Coast Guard approved life vests on-kinda sorta.  We actually went up to the pool deck and watched/chased their progress to the buoy near one of the harbor walls. We made 3 laps of the deck.  Check morning exercise off our bingo card-can I have my Gelato yet?    I wonder if there was a waiver involved?  Was one of the ambulances for them?  Perhaps.  

Our next lol moment was learning about the upside down Pineapple magnets on staterooms doors of a cruise ship.  These are the large Dollar Tree magnets that you can find when it is not a major holiday-think Luau summer season.  Or if you don’t want to wait, I am sure Amazon can hook you up.  Hook up is the operative wording here.  If you place your pineapple upside down on you cabin door, it means you are looking for another swinging couple.  Check it out.  There are plenty of references to the inverted pineapple On Instagram and Google.   I think there is a reference to pink flamingos working,  too.  Well, as chance has it, our next door suite cabin has a different daily quilted/machine embroidered door hanger and the pineapple, inverted.  Ed has seen the wife, and said no way that could be true.  Today, I met Leo, the Mr. of  the couple.  Leo gave me the eyebrow wiggle and wink.  Looking for adventure on high sea…I think so.  I will never look at a Pineapple door knocker the same again.  Have checked the lock on the adjoining door three times.  

Now for an update.  The mystery of the contraband in the suitcase has been solved.  I am sure Ed-2 went to a corporate level, but the answer is Leatherman.  You know the all in one tool.  Needle nose Pliers, bottle opener, screwdriver, corkscrew, small pocket knife, maybe even a fork.  Yeah, you probably got one as a Christmas stocking stuffer.  Don’t bring it on a cruise or inside an airplane.  The scanner will be set off for sure.  Their luggage got the same sticker as the guy who attempted to bring two loaded hand guns on board.  There is no story upgrade as the ship’s security officer delivered the information to them while we were together for drinks in the Retreat Lounge.  

After an exciting evening, I came back to check my email.  The internet (thanks, Elon and Starlink) is overwhelmed.  Everything on board ship is now app driven off your phone.  So, 1800 semi tech illiterates messing with their phones constantly tends to bog down the speed of your internet connection.  After 9:30, it is easy.  Imagine my surprise when I had an email from Chase asking me if a $28.84 charge to a mini mart in Spain was me.  If no, please call the toll free number on the back of my Chase card.  After 20 or so minutes on the phone, Chase cancelled the card and agreed to not send me a new one until I called them when I got home.  No need to have USPS maybe, kinda hold a new card at the Post Office until November 17.   Our post office at home tends to lose things, misplace things or possible steal things.  They additionally  determined it was in a digital wallet.   Neither Eddie (heaven forbid) nor I use any digital wallet off our phones.  Chase explained it was scanned from a non RFD wallet or a phone and added to someone’s digital wallet.  My wallet and cards are all in an RFD safe carrier.  So, not pointing fingers, but…Eddie.  Gave him one last Christmas, but he likes the one he has.  So, will I be restless until I get home, you bet.  Do we have other credit cards, yes.  Of course, Eddie has us going to the American Embassy and having family members wire us money.  Talking about standing up in the sail boat and vigorously flapping the sails.  May all your pineapples be right side up.  

They Shoot Horses, Don’t they?

 Embarkation Day has finally arrived.  Two years of anticipation, weeks of planning and days of packing and unpacking, we are finally ready for Embarkation Day.  Two years of anticipation, weeks of planning and days of packing and unpacking, we are finally ready to board our ship…35 cruises which includes some b2b (Back to Back cruises) or more on a few different cruises lines-we sleep around.  Nothing prepared us for the chaos/riot/zoo of boarding Celebrity Constellation in Civitavecchia, Italy…and we have had some pretty wild experiences, but this one wins hands down.  It replaces being Shanghaied in China as number one.    The port is about 90 minutes from the center of Rome…our Italian driver that spoke almost no English, made it in 70 minutes.  Guess he had aspersions of being a race car driver.    Glad I did not need to go the the bathroom.  With all the cruises that originate from Civitavecchia, I was under the impression it was a well oiled machine.  Silly, me.  There was one other cruise ship in port, Celebrity Ascent.  Being newer and bigger, it took the normal cruise port berth…guess it is only one ship a day kind of port.  Our ship was assigned to a make shift area, inside the industrial port, between the Korean car carrier that was being unloaded and the Banana boat.  Throw in a couple of cargo vessels and you have our destination.  We had secured our limo (yes, you know our Eddie, Limo, it is) with the requirement that it was permitted to go into the port.  Another rookie error, no inside the port permit for your transport.  There  were tons of folks dragging their luggage from the port gates to the ship dodging off loading cars and bananas.    Not it.  A failure to plan is a plan to fail.  We have done the drag your four suitcases to a port terminal 2 blocks away before. I was patting myself on my back as we were dropped in front of the temporary embarkation bubble.  If this had been our first cruise, it might have been our last.  I think my toes were run over by several motorized scooters.  I learned a whole lot of Italian, English, German, French cuss words.  Eddie found an angry nest of cane wielding mouth breathers that told him to move the f*ck out of the way.  Wow!  I guess it true what they say about people over a certain age…no filters.  There was no one in charge, no signs, and 1,500 passengers that came early for their boarding time slots that were suppose to be coming over the next 3 hours…the other 300 were on ship as they were b2b folks.    Talk about fun.  At least our luggage arrived early afternoon.  Our traveling companions had one of their suitcases confiscated for contraband.  It took 5 hours to retrieve it, it was almost an international incident.   They have a sticker covered suitcase, and no explanation what the contraband might have been.  These folks are strict rule obeyers.  The male half of our cruising friends is also an Ed, he does not find humor in these travel moments….he makes Covid Karen look like a novice.   I kept looking for the defibrillator on the ship…and was googling the you tube video on how to use it.    24 hours later, no clue on what the contraband was. I am not sure Ed-2 will get over it.  He is still chewing on that piece of bubble gum…hard to let things go for sure.  

In cruising there are port intensive cruises-a port every day and/or cruises like this 6 days in ports, and the rest (10) are days at sea.  The staff and crew have to work hard to create moments and experiences on board ship on those 10 days.    Before leaving we signed up (and prepaid) for a Steak Tartare Hands on class the morning of our first at sea day.  10:15…and raw meat, hmmm.  Eddie is a big fan of Steak Tartare…me, not so much, but sure, I will give it a go, it is all about the Experiences.  The start time was 10:15, but we had to arrive 30 minutes ahead of time to complete yet another health form and waiver.  We were instructed to wear only long pants, closed toed shoes, no tank tops.  The waiver was kind of like the one you sign when you go white water rafting.  Lots of initial here, no filming, throwing knives and you had to be over 6 to participate.  Wow, legal really wanted to cover the various bases on this one.  Makes one wonder what made this necessary.  At 10:15 after giving everyone a glass of champagne, the 9 adults were  invited to wash our hands, and don french cooking hats and aprons (no, we did not get to keep them) and assumed our positions behind the 9 cutting board.  We were given the recipe, but each station had all of our ingredients measured out in front of us.  Our rather large raw filet was on the cutting board, with our cutting glove and rather sharp big knife…waiver and champagne should not have been in same sentence here.  Our chef led us through the various steps, to complete the recipe.  Still not sure why we could not wear capris or shorts.  Closed toed shoes, understand that one..Knife dropping and all…the “no photos” was not observed…as we all took pictures of each other in our chef attire.  We completed our experience by sitting down and enjoying what we had prepared.  Raw meat is the ultimate ice breaker.  Oh yeah, the reference to horses...Ed-2 response to our Steak Tartare class when we told them our plans was “you know, in Europe, they use Horse Meat to make Steak Tartare”.  Was that in the waiver?  Must have been the champagne.