No Good Deed goes Unpunished

Monday morning in Montréal has arrived and it is time to pack our bags and leave the sound of jackhammers and street construction and board our ship-Oceania’s Nautica Waiting for us a mere 1,000 meters at the Alexandra Terminal/Quay of the St Lawerence River.  Hey, we are in Canada.  They use meters (metres in French) not feet.  For those of you who struggle with conversions, think 10 football fields. Guess what/who does not get excited about a 1,000 meter cab ride-especially when you can’t “pull up” to the front door of the cute boutique hotel that Eddie selected? That would be cabs and Uber folks, they basically have said Not It.. I knew because I inquired…pregame, right?  We will have to retrace our steps from Saturday night, cross the street, down the block, then cross another major thoroughfare and walk the 3-4 football fields to where you give them your baggage.    Hmmm, each of us have two rolling suitcase, and I have a tote for important crap and IPads, a purse. Then there is Eddie/Richard’s hat and cane, like the Cabbie said “Not It”.  When I explained all of this to Sir Eddie on Sunday morning, he groaned as only Eddie can.  His response was “We’ll see.”  

Not to be left out of the construction obstacles, Hotel Nelligan joined by moving the front desk to a new location, and totally walling off the previous lobby/check in area while we were sleeping soundly in our bed.  Here again, the mess, the wet float and tape and the wet floors…

Not to mention there was no signage for either the wet floor nor the location of the new reception lobby and exit doors made for less than an easy exit.  I feel a nasty Yelp review coming on.  Eddie and I wheeled our baggage through the newly created maze and out the door of the boutique hotel…down the warped wooden planks and the 1000 meters to where not one but two Oceania ships were waiting to welcome us aboard.  Hat, cane, two bags…he did it.  But not without a lot of cheerleading on my part…heck I knew I forgot to pack my megaphone and pompoms.  

On Wednesday before we left, our TA (Travel Agent) and Oceania contacted us (Eddie got the email while I was out errand running) of a last minute upgrade to a Vista Suite from our Penthouse Suite.  The 800 square feet suite with a 200 square foot balcony and two bathrooms had stars in Eddie’s eyes.  I know the look well when he told me about the email when I got home.  He had already made up his mind that we would be doing (read paying for) the upgrade.  This is our first Oceania cruise, he wanted it to be the best.  You know our motto-there is good, better and best…sometimes you just start with best and save money because you did not buy either good or better…Eddie logic.  This is an older ship, but has been extensively remodeled within the last two years…bright, light with lots of bling.  This is only 650+ passengers, about 1/3 the size of our usual Celebrity ships.  Checking in is never fun, but with our new and improved location/status, we skipped the lines and went straight to our suite at 11:30.  Yup, it was everything Eddie desired-short of his recliner.  Location you ask-sixth floor forward, port side, bow of ship.  Hmm…our butler let us know that while we are under way, the balcony is locked and furniture and cushions stowed lest they become flying objects.So much for using the balcony-even though the temps are hovering in the 30-40’s.    There those safety regulations are.  Oh yeah another couple of things we have learned in the last few days.  The anchor is close, as  well as the bow thrusters and Nautical Lounge on 5 directly below us.    Each of these little things have made themselves known to us in their own special way.  Veteran Oceania cruisers have chuckled when we told them where we were on the ship…guess this is Oceania inside joke.  Eddie thought he was doing something special for the trip…no good deal goes unpunished.  

Another Pickle Adventure Begins

Bonjour!  armed with my elementary school French (yes, I am that old, French was considered the international language)  and a few phrases from the Paris Olympics,  Eddie and I are off for a pre cruise visit to Montréal.  Montreal and Quebec like to pretend that they are attached physically to France.  Most from the French Province of Canada speak both French and English, but like to make us Americans work for the little things…so, a little Merci, Si vous plait goes a long way. Throw in Le chat est sur la table-translation the cat is on the table…one of the few things I remember…valuable,  n’est ce pas?  A life of various experiences and menus, we can usually keep from ordering fried calf brains or something equally as gross off a menu if they do not have an English menu.  Enter the ever popular QR code menu.  Nothing says five star dining like a menu on your smart phone.  

On this trip, Eddie selected our pre cruise accommodations and the restaurants that where we would be dining.  He also selected our activities from a list I had curated 6 months ago.  After his selections, it is my job to procure to necessary reservations tickets and arrange for transportation.  Our pregame is pretty strong…and this trip is no exception.  I researched the Montréal airport to determine how and where customs, baggage claim, and transportation was located.  Bless you You-Tubers out there…I tend to be a visual learner.  Nothing screams tourist/low hanging fruit like older travelers with mouth gapping wide and blank eyes, or looking into a phone.  I like to armed myself with knowledge from the internet, so I looked as if I know what I am doing, no low hanging fruit here.    Eddie armed himself with a brown suede fedora and wooden walking cane.  Think Sir Richard Attenborough in Jurassic Park (1993).  We all know Eddie is a thespian at heart and loves a good role to play.  This time Eddie selected a slightly infirmed, yet well heeled traveler, to proud to use a medical walker or cane.  Insert eye roll.  Well, once we deplaned in Montréal, Sir Eddie went into Sir Richard mode.  Low and behold, if the airport golf cart did not do a three point turn to pick us up and whisk us quickly (I have whiplash)  to the customs hall…No, I did not pregame that one.  Our golf chariot placed us on the private elevator and we were in the Customs Hall with 100 machines to speed us along.  I had already completed the Declaration form online through their app. (Not our first Canadian rodeo) Among these 100 machines are about 4 Canadian custom officials that are there to help people with the technology.  A rather tall official spotted Eddie, I mean Richard, and I and took him by the arm and completed the process and walked us out Line 1.  It happened so quickly that we were done before anyone else on our flight had even walked the 85 gates to this area.  Needless to say we beat the luggage.  Guess Eddie/Richard knew his audience…Oscar winning performance.  To the Sortie (that is French for the Exit) and transportation.

There is the car park, friends and family pick up and then transportation for hire.  Taxis have a door (23) and it is usually 30 minute wait, Uber/Lyft at Door 28, less of a wait, but my pregame said that they can not use the diamond lanes and there were major road closures between the city and airport.  Limos on demand are through Door 24, no wait, pricing only $25-35 more than a taxi to the city.  Guess which Door Eddie picked.  Those of you that had Eddie in a limo on their Bingo card can black out that square.

After all the years of travel for work with  large crowded hotels, Eddie prefers smaller boutique hotels.  Must haves include either a bar and/or restaurant and convenient location. He selected the Hotel Nelligan in Old Town, near the wharf.  He was insistent it was Number One.  About two days before we departed, we received an email from Hotel Nelligan advising of some minor inconveniences with the roads in Old Town-both in French and English.  We are from Houston, orange barrels and open streets don’t scare us.  This inconveniences did not appear that bad until we actually tried to get the hotel.  The entire street/block was blocked and open.  Our limo driver could get no closer than the corner.  There was a one lane of warped wooden boards to the hotel’s entrance, which was not clearly marked…it is currently 6:15 pm (EST)-no lights (but for a few people’s cell phone flashlight apps).  Obviously, our friends to the north do not have OSHA regulations for work sites in commercial areas or experienced lawsuits when people fall down and break an ankle.  We check in and stow our bags in a lovely room on the fourth floor overlooking the construction pit.  Yeah, there is no OSHA regs here.  As it is the weekend, and work stopped on Friday and will not resume until 7:00 on Monday, we thought it was safe to crack the windows. Did I mention we are right under the Terrace Lounge.  You have been to our house, we don’t do heat and prefer open windows when temps dip below 50 degrees…29 degrees rate a crack.   Eddie and I have always equated lounge as a quiet affair…Nope,Nope Nope…party til 3:00 AM loud music and  loud voices all of my favorite lullabies.  Eddie closed the windows around midnight…guess he needed to watch a You Tube video on French window closing, as both were open in the morning.  

We spent Sunday strolling the non open streets of Old Montréal.  There are plenty of store fronts that remain empty, but Eddie managed to find some outstanding restaurants for our meals.  We both wanted to see the Notre Dame Basilica of Montréal, not to be confused with the  Notre Dame Cathedral-of Quebec…apparently the French franchised and trademarked the Notre Dame concept back in the day.    The ND of Montréal did not disappoint.  The French and the Italian know how to build and adore a Church…even though the architect for this particular ND was an English Anglican from New York.  The Greek Revival altar area comes alive with a color palette not normally used in churches.  It was exquisite.  Meanwhile, in the park out front was a group of 250 or more protesting the war against the Palestines…Flags, keffiyehs in black and white on the men’s heads, loud music and yelling over a microphone.  Yeah, after our trip to Vancouver last year, we included the “peaceful demonstration” and “police in riot gear” on our travel bingo card.