Just call us Team Needy

 Warning:  the following post may contain triggering language for some with a queasy constitution. Read at your own risk.  

The answer is 80. The question, is how many RM people does it take to care for 775 people (of a certain age) on board the Rocky Mountaineer that left Vancouver on Tuesday.  The 80 represents the people on board, two different classes of passengers.  Guess which class we are in…Gold Leaf, of course!  Did you have any doubt?  It is the one with the dome glass ceiling, each car has its own kitchen staff and white cloth dining, two bathrooms, 4 staff members and 3 member culinary team.  The silver leaf service…think economy, eat in your lap, airline food and a few less folks to powder your butt, but the liquor flows fast, so bottom line, the scenery is the same, just how much are you willing to pay.  The overnight stays are Fairmont down to Travelodge…

So, with lots of moving (slow, I might add, as we are the youngsters on board) parts to be gathered in 30+ buses and to be taken to the Rocky Mountaineer train station, with 1.5 (average) pieces of luggage for each piled on board to be transferred to trucks to arrive at your daily destination and placed in your room prior to your arrive.  The logistics of this operation is mind boggling for Robin and me. Organization and logistics are our secret love language….it is in our DNA.  It was an early start to our morning, we were up for 5:30, on buses before 6:45, and on the train before 7:45.  We were piped (yes, kilt wearing big pipe carrying fellow), fresh faced uniform wearing 20 somethings wearing the trade mark blue uniforms and ties float waving us out of the station…and they do this 4 days a week from Vancouver, April to October.  There were only 65 positions this year for first year hires, over 2,000 people applied.  Our 24 passenger cars (10 gold, 14 silver) two engines, and one power car Pulled out of Vancouver for the 8-9 hour ride to Kamloops.  We are in car J03. We are mid car in seats 37, 38, 39,  & 40…across the aisle from each other.  We are the dividing line between front and back.  They have created a very fair system for first and second seating, it flips back and forth daily. So, no unattractive Senior people whining.  

Well, today we are the early birds.  Breakfast at 9:00, lunch at 12:30.  So, 40 of us walk down the spiral stairs case to the dining car.  As we were first And we seated at in the first four top table. I don’t do backwards, so we were facing forward…Eddie/Joker surveyed the room.  Somewhere between coffee and pancakes, the solo gentleman at the last table facing backwards on the train, but in plain view of Eddie  (and an unfortunate couple that sat with him) Eddie calmly states…”we have a Barfer ”.  A little background…apparently RM passengers are like whale watching boats.  You shout out a wildlife sighting-bear black or brown, elk, moose, eagle, osprey along with clock position.  Everyone rushes to get a picture…silly, since the train is moving and all.  Anyway, Eddie announces to our table, Barfer at 11:00.  Betcha no one had that on their wildlife bingo card.  The host team was scrambling, additional personnel to include guest service manager for the 3 car area, medical, haz mat.  Not sure what the poor couple that was seated with him did, but they disappeared mid meal, this gentleman was promptly masked and also disappear from the passenger numbers in our car.  Batman and I had read all the information, Batman had watch countless hours of you tube videos and shows on the RM…we could never figure out what happened with Covid or passengers who become ill during the trip.  Guess we will find out.  

Sometime after lunch and after the third round of drinks were served….there was an announcement that the two toilets in our car had failed.  Just prior to the announcement, I had been on the vestibule (fancy term for the open area on train’s platform) and saw the water (and other items) surging from under the doors onto the the carpet and the roving cleaning lady, locking the doors with a key and muttering “this is not good, this is bad, very bad”.  Never good.  So, we were instructed to go across the vestibule, open the door to the adjoining car, careful jumping the connective train plate, steer left around the kitchen to the other end of the silver car and use their toilets (think airline lavatories)  If you required a gold leaf fix, down the rear spiral galley steps to the kitchen, through the working kitchen out the door, across the connective plate and gold vestibule and use those slightly nicer and bigger facilities.  Given the logistics, we went silver…besides we wanted to see for ourselves the differences.  

So, Breakfast Barfer, Lunch toilet suspension, sandwiched with great scenery, golden aspen, red maples and the ever present evergreens.  Yes, we saw the burned out forests…but it was not the first in the last decade, nor will it be the last.  It is Mother Nature’s way of renewal.  The forest floor is alive with yellows and reds where previous years’ fire had been…so, we are about an hour out of Kamloops and the natives on or train car are getting restless.  There she blows, another Barfer 7 rows back.  Bar service was abrupt suspended.  Instead of the 4 hostesses from the car and one Manager, we had 4 additional managers and the train’s medical officer, we had lots of flying rubber gloves, masks and defibrillators…and the poor roving cleaning lady thrown in for good measure.  So, one mile from the train station we stop on the railroad tracks…here comes ambulance, and fire department.  Wow!  The little old lady made or may not have coded,  7 rows back…but of course, with HIPAA regulations, we may never know.   Call this a first for all of this group…and come to to find out, for all of those bright faced kiddos that are on the crew, too.  Bottom line, three slots opened on the train at meal time….hope there is good airport service from Kamloops to where ever your final destination might be.  

Batman, Robin, Catwoman, and Joker…we are getting too old for this kind of stuff.  Especially after a night at the DoubleTree Hilton Kamloops.  How they keep their franchise serving Naan bread and chicken dicks with Indian seasoning is beyond me.  Tomorrow, we are in Jasper and another Fairmont…thank goodness, if not a defibrillator might have to be used on the Joker….he does not do 2 star hotels.  

Plan B

Well, after all the planning  Eric (hereinafter referred to as Batman-Adam West 1966 TV series, not the 21st Century-sorry, Eric, no muscles) and I (Cat Woman) did for this trip, we failed Kathy (Robin- just along for the ride, but has great hair) and Eddie (The Joker-Ceasar Romero). 

Side note Eddie wanted to be cast in our travels as Commissioner Gordon or at least Alfred, but no, with his rimmed eyes, he is the Joker). We failed to create a Plan B for the touring Vancouver if the company cancelled on you last minute.  Since The Joker and I had visited Vancouver several times, this was my assignment.  I researched and sent Batman and Robin the list of various options in March, and pulled the trigger in August.  All tour companies were chosen for Yelp and Trip Advisor ratings (on the a current Seal of Excellence holders), value, length of tour and vehicle used.  Batman and friends do not do tour buses…too off brand…and you know the Joker, aka Captain Powder Puff…we are all about the lux in luxury.

Boat trip was a home run-from weather to laughable moment to the fish and chips, solid A adventure.  Monday’s Plan was for the Ultimate Vancouver Tour 5.5 hours in a luxury van for four, with lunch on top of Grouse Mountain.  Just about the time we finished Sundays activity, I got a text from the three time reconfirmed tour company that the tour had been cancel, no driver.  Say what?  Checked my credit card and they had already credited my trip cost back.  Hmmm.  Now what are we going to do?  Batman, Robin and I whipped out our phones and began a goggle search on Plan B. The Joker whipped out his tissue and eye drops….yesterday’s wind added more red rims to his lower lid.   Robin researched and suggested we rent a car.  Robin and Cat Woman would hike to the Enterprise offices two block away.  The Joker started laughing.  That would be a firm “No”.  While Robin is a great driver, Vancouver is not a US large city with Interstates and well marked routes, and there is 100% of rain.    I looked for other touring companies but the timeline was wrong as we had to be back no later than 3:00 PM to pick up the boarding passes, seat assignment, and luggage tags from RM temporary desk at the Fairmont.  Remember we are rule obeying, so we would be there (and were) at 2:45 PM.  We went to bed without a solution.   I said I would talk to the concierge in the morning…full on Captain Powder Puff mode for Plan B.  

Fast forward to early morning Monday.   Robin and I arrived at the desk at 8:00 AM.  First, I cancelled our dinner plans at a pricey authentic Chinese restaurant.  We had finally looked at the menu post Plan B fire drill and deemed it was not our jam.  We wanted fried rice, egg rolls and hot and sour…they had jelly fish (kid you not), and really expensive bird nest soup for two, complete with poop.  So, Plan B-ed our dinner plans to something more stomach friendly, a mere .3 miles away, in the shadow of the 2010 Olympic Cauldron that Wayne Gretzky could not light on first try and the Vancouver Sea Plan port.  Cactus Cafe Club-solid A. Apparently, I am do not give out the same vibe as Eddie when speaking to the concierge.  She sized my sister and I up after cancelling the $$$$$$ bird poop soup place, and suggested Tim Horton or McDonalds.  Seriously, right?  When I explained what service and tour was cancelled, she was more than a little dismissive and 

said she had never heard of them and they only used Evergreen, or two other companies, but they were full for the day.  Just because Lululemon corporate office and their sweet little ambassadors are the other people using your hotel…between all the cruisers and train people, does not mean you can be so judgmental…hmmm, might be a Covid Karen Guest survey in her future.  Two can play at that game, my dear.  This is the part when 1966 Batman would have a couple Bam, Boom, Pow thrown in.  Based on my previous night’s mad internet search, I knew that despite the rain the Capilano Suspended Bridge, was open, served lunch and had free transportation (ever 15 minutes, starting at 10:15) departing directly across the street from the hotel, next to the cruise port.  So, went down to Tim Horton’s (a Canadian thing, for sure…think Dunkin’ donuts)  and had our breakfast purchased our cheap senior discounted tickets (did not have enough time to locate coupons) and had a lovely day at the bridge, and hike trails.  Lunch in front of a roaring fire, with great salmon chowder.  The drive up through Stanley Park, across Lions Gate bridge with an afternoon return via Gastown checked all the must see boxes.  Bonus, we saw the protest March in front of the Indian Embassy..if you are confused on why, check the news feed.  Canada and India are in a bit of a diplomatic tiff right now….we, US citizens shop local for our disagreements.  Batman and the Joker took afternoon naps after walking a couple of miles in the rain.   Cat woman and Robin went shopping in Gastown and saw/heard the clock…toot.toot.toot.  Robin got curious when we overheard on the elevator that Grouse Mountain has been closed for day and another group’s (one of the hotel recommended ones, I might add) had been cut short.  Hmm…our Plan A had Grouse Mountain Gondola ride with lunch at top. To the Bat cell phone, Robin, Google has the answer.  The mountain and restaurant had been closed for the day for a private event.  Curse you, Lululemon.  

Well, after all the planning  Eric (hereinafter referred to as Batman-Adam West 1966 TV series, not the 21st Century-sorry, Eric, no muscles) and I (Cat Woman) did for this trip, we failed Kathy (Robin- just along for the ride, but has great hair) and Eddie (The Joker-Ceasar Romero). 

Side note Eddie wanted to be cast in our travels as Commissioner Gordon or at least Alfred, but no, with his rimmed eyes, he is the Joker). We failed to create a Plan B for the touring Vancouver if the company cancelled on you last minute.  Since The Joker and I had visited Vancouver several times, this was my assignment.  I researched and sent Batman and Robin the list of various options in March, and pulled the trigger in August.  All tour companies were chosen for Yelp and Trip Advisor ratings (on the a current Seal of Excellence holders), value, length of tour and vehicle used.  Batman and friends do not do tour buses…too off brand…and you know the Joker, aka Captain Powder Puff…we are all about the lux in luxury.

Boat trip was a home run-from weather to laughable moment to the fish and chips, solid A adventure.  Monday’s Plan was for the Ultimate Vancouver Tour 5.5 hours in a luxury van for four, with lunch on top of Grouse Mountain.  Just about the time we finished Sundays activity, I got a text from the three time reconfirmed tour company that the tour had been cancel, no driver.  Say what?  Checked my credit card and they had already credited my trip cost back.  Hmmm.  Now what are we going to do?  Batman, Robin and I whipped out our phones and began a goggle search on Plan B. The Joker whipped out his tissue and eye drops….yesterday’s wind added more red rims to his lower lid.   Robin researched and suggested we rent a car.  Robin and Cat Woman would hike to the Enterprise offices two block away.  The Joker started laughing.  That would be a firm “No”.  While Robin is a great driver, Vancouver is not a US large city with Interstates and well marked routes, and there is 100% of rain.    I looked for other touring companies but the timeline was wrong as we had to be back no later than 3:00 PM to pick up the boarding passes, seat assignment, and luggage tags from RM temporary desk at the Fairmont.  Remember we are rule obeying, so we would be there (and were) at 2:45 PM.  We went to bed without a solution.   I said I would talk to the concierge in the morning…full on Captain Powder Puff mode for Plan B.  

Fast forward to early morning Monday.   Robin and I arrived at the desk at 8:00 AM.  First, I cancelled our dinner plans at a pricey authentic Chinese restaurant.  We had finally looked at the menu post Plan B fire drill and deemed it was not our jam.  We wanted fried rice, egg rolls and hot and sour…they had jelly fish (kid you not), and really expensive bird nest soup for two, complete with poop.  So, Plan B-ed our dinner plans to something more stomach friendly, a mere .3 miles away, in the shadow of the 2010 Olympic Cauldron that Wayne Gretzky could not light on first try and the Vancouver Sea Plan port.  Cactus Cafe Club-solid A. Apparently, I am do not give out the same vibe as Eddie when speaking to the concierge.  She sized my sister and I up after cancelling the $$$$$$ bird poop soup place, and suggested Tim Horton or McDonalds.  Seriously, right?  When I explained what service and tour was cancelled, she was more than a little dismissive and said she had never heard of them and they only used Evergreen, or two other companies, but they were full for the day.  Just because Lululemon corporate office and their sweet little ambassadors are the other people using your hotel…between all the cruisers and train people, does not mean you can be so judgmental…hmmm, might be a Covid Karen Guest survey in her future.  Two can play at that game, my dear.  This is the part when 1966 Batman would have a couple Bam, Boom, Pow thrown in.  Based on my previous night’s mad internet search, I knew that despite the rain the Capilano Suspended Bridge, was open, served lunch and had free transportation (ever 15 minutes, starting at 10:15) departing directly across the street from the hotel, next to the cruise port.  So, went down to Tim Horton’s (a Canadian thing, for sure…think Dunkin’ donuts)  and had our breakfast purchased our cheap senior discounted tickets (did not have enough time to locate coupons) and had a lovely day at the bridge, and hike trails.  Lunch in front of a roaring fire, with great salmon chowder.  The drive up through Stanley Park, across Lions Gate bridge with an afternoon return via Gastown checked all the must see boxes.  Bonus, we saw the protest March in front of the Indian Embassy..if you are confused on why, check the news feed.  Canada and India are in a bit of a diplomatic tiff right now….we, US citizens shop local for our disagreements.  Batman and the Joker took afternoon naps after walking a couple of miles in the rain.   Cat woman and Robin went shopping in Gastown and saw/heard the clock…toot.toot.toot.  Robin got curious when we overheard on the elevator that Grouse Mountain has been closed for day and another group’s (one of the hotel recommended ones, I might add) had been cut short.  Hmm…our Plan A had Grouse Mountain Gondola ride with lunch at top. To the Bat cell phone, Robin, Google has the answer.  The mountain and restaurant had been closed for the day for a private event.  Curse you, Lululemon.  

Just singing in the rain

We got lucky yesterday on our zodiac trip!  Blue skies and mild (55 mild) temps, and our boys in their fetchingly attractive red buoyancy suits…Kathy and I layered up and said “no” to the red jump suit affairs that are designed for people 6’5” and above…and may or may not have been peed in as there are no bathrooms on the zodiac and it is a 3 hour trip…on water..power of suggestion and all.  Besides, they would really make our butts look big.  Eddie and Eric are such rule followers….and usually designed sweat-ers..us girls run cold, in a Texas Arizona way.  The suit fit my BiL perfect since he tops our at 6’7”, Eddie, not so much…just getting into it reminded me of a toddler in a snow suit having to go to bathroom.   Then there is a 50 mph boat ride and Eddie’s floppy lower lid…think dog hanging head out car window.  Have I painted enough of a a picture for you?  Okay, let’s add one more layer to our picture. there are four rows on the bench seats on our vessel.  Logic would suggest that the back seat is better than the front for wind resistance.  Guess where our adventure seeking Bassett hound sat?  Row one…not totally his fault…of the 10 on our vessel, we were the oldest and slowest to the launch.  Eric volunteered to sit front, but the guide/driver said “nope”…a quick look and Kathy and I..we said “nope”.  So, Eddie took one for the team.  The tour was as advertised, beautiful, except for the part of all of the dead pink salmon (end of their season) that did what salmon do swam upstream, spawned then promptly died.  The dead salmon then float back out to sea with the tides and the gulls and eagles (however, they prefer still living) eat the dead salmon, and may do a fly over when the boat spooks them and poop on your head…no extra charge.  Circle of life kind of moment, I guess.  The scenery pretty spectacular…the dodging tankers and commercial boats and slowing for the kayakers…0-60 in just a few seconds, gets the blood flowing for sure.  Kayakers in Vancouver are like surfboards in Hawaii…everyone has one and a Sunny Sunday, do the math…lots of wide swings and speed variations.  

We were back on Granville Island just in time for happy hour.  3:00-5:00 daily at most establishments have a great menu and rationally priced drinks.  The locals know…like the gulls to the dead salmon, feeding starts at 3:00 ends at 5:00, with stupid tourists paying really high prices…like $25.00 (CAD, so 75% US for a drink…but still-same drink is $6.00 CAD before 5:00).  You get the picture.  We decided post blow job (boat trip) we would go to the Vancouver Fish Company and eat fish and chips and beer from the local brewery.  Well, it was busy.  We (meaning our table of 4) slipped through the crack.  Covid Kathy (not to be confused with the screaming red face Covid Karen) has a southern coated sweet humorous way of getting attention and correction of the situation.  Let’s just say there were two managers and two hours of eating and drinking comp(ed)…and our poor little waitress still got a generous tip.  I am not sure how she did it, but a pouty face, and telling the manager she was grumpy equaled no check.  While we were inside, the blue skies turned cloudy and we were singing in the rain waiting for a cab, Uber or Lyft…first one wins.  

  

Our Train in the Rain

After three years of planning and rescheduling our trip on the famed Rocky Mountaineer (RM)  is upon us.  For those of you unaware of our elaborate travel plans, I will quickly recap.  My sister, Kathy’s husband, Eric, retired from Raytheon (think Missile systems) in March of  2020.  Yeah, 2020, the one with mask mandates, closed everything, whispers of the black plague and Ebola…yeah, fun times for sure.  Eric is a life long learner, and student of the world…fancy speak for love of traveling and new adventures.  His dream retirement fantasy went up in a puff of Covid cooties.  One of his bucket list items was a trip on the Rocky Mountaineer.  Knowing that Ed is a train dork and they offer extensive powder puff service, we said “sure, we are all in”.  Of course, if did not hurt that RM was desperately trying to stimulate business by offering really great deals on hopeful Fall 2020 travel.  As the Covid quarantine continued, it was obvious to us that the train might roll but the experience would be somewhat tarnished or limited.  Who wants to take a luxury train with poor service and limited things open…never mind the supply chain issues or lack of liquor…we punted our 14 day trip to 2021, then to 2022 and finally, to 2023.  Remember the stuff about shrinkflation, well, our 2020 Covid reservation for 14 days has shrunk to a 8 day, same price, mind you…with a a couple few “included” evening meals in the hotels we are staying in take out of the equation.  Between fires in Canada, government closure of hotels for tourists so fire victims would have a place to stay and the new threat of Covid (what version is this?), we were unsure if this train would even take the tracks.  So, build in an major upcharge for travel insurance, yeah, this trip has lots to live up to.  

Ed and I flew to Vancouver from Houston, other than the massive construction project around the airport, it was totally uneventful.  Crossing into Canada and Custom and Border patrol has been 95% automated.  The 5% was when your kiosk picture and passport picture where not the same.  Winner, winner chicken dinner…Eddie’s special Bassett hound eyes triggers a quick, and I do mean quick, look at his passport by a guy marshaling people through the webbed maze lines.  Seriously, not sure if I feel safe with the technique preventing unsavory characters coming into the country….but given what is happening on our southern borders…you know what they say, People is glass houses should not throw stones.  With the government shutdown looming in our travel dates…first of October should be interesting coming back into Houston.  We leave from Canada and arrive Houston…hope Terminal D has the same saissez faire attitude come October 3, or the electronic Global Entry works as advertised.  Yikes!  The Texas contingent of this trip arrived well before the Arizona/Oregon (they are in processes of buying a second home in Portland) contingent.  Ed and I love a Vancouver (and Whistler) and have been here many times, Kathy and Eric have not.  So, we have spent our alone time doing what Eddie likes best…drinking and eating.  We are on the Ocean, waters are cold enough for West Coast oysters…found a Happy Hour deal or two on those…the boy can eat little tiny oysters.  

Packing for this was challenging.  RM issues lots of information about what to bring and not bring…heavy on pounds and dimensions of things.  Given the weather forecast is 100% rain, with a chance of more rain, and really heavy rain…unless it is snow showers…  Our luggage weight was maxed out with shoes, rain gear and the 10-12 pairs of underwear we needed to get through the next 10 days without a laundry.  Yeah, sure, they will be happy to “do” your laundry.  A mere $5.00 a pair for underwear…gee, I could throw it away and buy new along the way for that price.  Eddie suggested that I pack my thongs to save space….I said I would if he would…granny panties for the win.  

Today and tomorrow we are doing Vancouver with Eric and Kathy.  Today, it is a Zodiac boat…50 mph, rubber suits and life jackets…3 hours in the rain in the face, and we are paying for the privilege.  I plan on thinking positive and calling it an ice facial, and no fuss hair day.  I can’t imagine what will be going through Eddie’s head.  Glad I brought a couple extra pairs on underwear.    Stay tuned.