it is all about Attitude!

 As I mentioned yesterday, we had two incidents that are firsts on a ship.  The Crazy Cake Caper…we still have not heard after we asked Nora to get to the bottom of it.  Will give you an update when we have breaking news.  The other was so out of the blue and unexpected from a ship’s crew member that I still am a little bit in disbelief.  A little background, when we plan and execute a cruise plan we determine how many ships will be in port that day, is this a docked or tender port, what are the local resources to deal with this many passengers (think Greenland where there are 3x the number of passengers than town folks) and finally what is the window of time in port.  If cruise ship count is high, window narrow  and one of the other two qualifiers are checked off, we book an on board excursion.  Yes, that might bring out the dreaded bus ride, but we have found if we don’t book we don’t look.  We get off walk a half a block, Eddie gets a beer, I go to the bathroom and we get back on board ship.  

Yesterday, we were in Nassau, Bahamas.  I have been coming here since I was in eighth grade.  We actually stayed in the hotel that has eventually morphed into Atlantis.  Kathy and I thought we so cool, we could have a coke at the swim up bar and drink the coke in the pool..at a time when we only got one soda each a week…in the kitchen.  This was the 1960’s, the bar for cool, was pretty low then. Think motel with a pool.    Look how you have grown up, Atlantis..all sharky, shiny and expensive. Lots of Caribbean cruises include the Bahamas as a stop.  It is almost  guaranteed a Transatlantic crossing will include it. We have seen it change over time from a grubby little stop with shacks that you had to pass through to get into town.  Yes, once past it you could get to Atlantis, Junkaroo Beach, the town and all the pirate stories and houses, but the port did not read “Welcome”. It read hang on to your belongings, pick pockets and drug dealers ahead.    Whether the Bahamian government and locals realized those ships are your life blood or hurricane had wiped out the old metal shacks, this port has a new attitude and it is colorful, vibrant, clean and crowded.  Our Butler said this has been within the last 18 months.   In keeping with our qualifiers we booked an onboard excursion that was Food Tour….surprised?  

After our experience in Malaga, I decided to check out exactly how much walking would be involved so that I could cancel and get our refund 48 hours before the event.  Besides, it was another day at sea, I had to do something different.  I went down to the Shore Excursion desk and asked my questions.  One crew member actually had taken the tour and could tell me everything I wanted to know.  I had to give them my Sea Pass card and I had my paper copy of my receipt. Satisfied with the responses,  I asked if I needed anything else.  No, just your phone with the Celebrity app.  BTW, unlike in the 34 cruises before this where the excursion tickets were not in our room when we arrived nor on the door the night before.  I figured that they were serious about becoming app driven…I get Celebrity notifications based on what is on my calendar.    Cool.  Fast forward to Nassau.  My app which worked fine on the ship, not so well on land, unless I wanted to pay for cell service on shore ($10 a day for basic cell and text, internet and data not so much).  Glad I had my paper back up.  Technology is great until it doesn’t work…see Eddie for bricked IPad at Sea for details.  Talk about withdrawals…he is being reduced to using his phone, which he hates.  Maybe he will get the hang of the swipe part…practice makes perfect.  We checked in with our Shore Excursions Crew Member on the Pier (per app instruction)  to find where we could find Paddle #15.  He asked to see our tickets.  I told him that we did not receive tickets.  He gave me the “seriously, are you that stupid”  look.    Told me I should go back in and get them from the Shore Excursions on Deck 3…two decks up and swimming against the current of exiting guests.  I mentioned that it was just a few minutes before the Food Tour departed.  He reluctantly opened is clipboard box and took my paper back up and scrawled out a two paper ticket….to the wrong tour.  I told him he had filled out the tickets for tour #17, my paper and mouth said Tour #15.  I was polite at this point.    He grabbed his two part form ticket from my hand, in an obvious huff.  Eddie had be close by and watching.  Between the background noise, and heavily accented english, I am Team Pickle’s designated communication representative.    Eddie had seen about all he wanted to in the exchange.  Eddie went lawyer.  One word said in a tone that only Eddie can deliver and the “look”.  Our family all knows it, and fears it.  “Attitude”…it was all he said.  He delivered the look.  The crew member threw the incorrect ticket back in my face, closed his clipboard, and turned his back on us.  Wow, another first on a cruise.  Did we pay extra for the attitude upgrade, or will it be on our final bill?

I decided to go forward instead of backward to the Shore Excursion desk and find Paddle #15 with my incorrect Tour number and information ticket.  We found her….A Bahama Mama with ‘tude, swagger, and the dialect that only can be found in the Caribbean. She put her finger  in the air and declared she would handle this, follow her. Kaua from Brazil (yeah,I take names) changed the tickets and we were on our way.  Our Bahama Mama was pier support for the Island Food Tour company.  She was in charge of sorting us and putting us on the two (possibly three) 16 passenger touring vans.  She looked Eddie up and down and decided we needed to be on the short bus with all the other Mobility challenged ticket holding folks.  It also got us a tram transport to the van, no walking over uneven surfaces.  Bonus.  Eddie was happy but I was still in shock about the attitude from Kaua from Brazil.  Yeah, 10 straight days at sea can do that to even the crew members…or he was bit by a zombie.  

Each time we are tour an island or even a country port, you understand the tour guide’s perspective on history, politics, and things of interest.  Our tour guy/driver was no different.  We saw lots of churches established in the 1700-1800’s, pirates homes, British Commonwealth references and the hospitals.  Along the way we ate island food.  We started with a Duff.  Which is a steamed bun stuffed with cooked guava and covered with cinnamon roll icing..doughy, sugary and authentic Bahamian breakfast.  Two of our fellow passengers on the short bus had continuous reading glucose monitors arm things with instant reading that went to their cell phone apps.  Every bite they would compare their numbers.  Wow, that will teach Eddie not to bring your cane. Good times, for sure.    We went to a Tea shop, Rum tasting, pirate home and a rum distillery, and finally a Fish Shack at Potter’s Cove..fried fresh snapper, peas and rice and coleslaw with a tasting of grits and peas…Bahama staple.  Don’t crinkle your nose until you try it.  There was beer or a super sweet soda to drink.  16 people in a waterfront Morgan storage building style shack means seating was tight.  Tables were the half banquet table affairs.  I am on one side, Eddie across from me.  Eddie picked the beer, after his Pina Colada with dark rum topper at the distillery.  Oops.  Karen got a beer bath, to include wet pants and underwear..which is currently fluttering in the wind to dry enough to bring home and not sour the rest of our dirty clothes that are soon be placed in our luggage and placed outside our cabin door before 10:00 PM for the trip home…with our red tags attached.    Thanks, Eddie you are my hero.  

At the appointed hour, Eddie and I went to the Retreat Lounge.  Ed-2 and Betsy arrived early to secure our favorite spot.  They understand their job description.  We regaled them with our two bizarre happenings at sea.  Ed-2 wanted action…to include Kaua walking the plank or public hanging on the helio pad.  The cake caper was more of a curiosity, the second was in Ed-2 speak-rank insubordination-Military habits die hard with this one.  While I was flabbergasted at the crew blow back, I decided to approach this a tad more diplomatically with the Suite Manager, Nora.  She knew we were aghast at the attitude, but granting grace is better for your soul.  I promise to write one more time while we are waiting for our flight (fingers crossed) tomorrow.  

Nobody puts Baby in the Corner

 We have finally found land.  After 10 days at sea, the ship docked next to a Disney ship, three NCL ship and MSC in Nassau, Bahamas.    The Disney ship is everything you would expect from a newer ship build…there are kids hanging off every balcony…kinda like an over stuffed toy box.  Some are dressed in Disney characters’ outfits…if you did not bring your own, I am sure there are plenty of opportunities in their gift/merch shops.  Either way these families all matchy matchy, their Mouse Ears matching their outfits.  All the merch is certified Disney products and not from Target or Kohls.  They are all smiling and skipping, even Grandpa and Grandma are skipping…so Happiest place at Sea.  Unlike the folks from Celebrity.  We look like the zombies that we have all become…unwashed, mismatched mouth breathers.  Night of the Living Dead comes to mind.   Eddie has even started exhibited zombie behavior.  Is there a pill for that?  The ship board navigational channel that shows where the ship currently is on a map, wind speed, direction and sometimes a camera shot over the helipad.  He has spent hours with glazed eyes just staring.  Okay, to be fair, we think his IPad bricked.  He can still read his Kindle app, but surfing, not happening…so Navigational channel,it is…thank goodness tomorrow is Saturday College Football.  Speaking of on board gift shops…what a cushy job on the ship for those lucky crew members aboard this ship.  Effy and John Hardy jewelry stores are virtually empty, except when they have the $10 charm day.  The beauty and fragrance, same.  The overpriced clothes and second hand designer bags, no sale.  Celebrity is obviously aiming high for their clientele demographic but they would do better to read the room or the ship, as it were….look at the folks you are attracting.   Tattoos At Sea and make Henna tattoos an option would be a great addition instead of the high end Jewelry store.  You could sell the creams and Bandages to cover the new art work.  Offer daily Tattoo checks for first timers.   Also, Medical equipment at Sea.  Canes, gallon bottles of Distilled water for CPAP machines instead of liquor bottles could line the walls.  They could offer a ranges of braces for everything that might go wrong.  An entire line of Biofreeze, Advil Creams, Salonpas patches, Lidocaine cream and pain goos…no $150 bottle of designed perfumes, just stuff that people need.  You could offer a discount for both spa and acupuncture services with a qualifying purchase.  Wasted space wasted opportunities for profit in my book.  

I am going to have to eat my words.  Remember how I wrote that we typically wait until we get home to make our feelings about a cruise known?  Well, we have had two encounters in the last 24 hours that have made me reconsider.  Last night was our last of  our Speciality Dining package.  Dinner for two in Tuscan.  We booked a 6:00 seating first day of cruise.  The app gods changed it yesterday to 5:45-cool, we can do that, no problem.  We arrived on time (no surprise there) and were shown to a table that fits the description of a window table technical.  The window overlooks lounge chairs on 11 and an emergency exit door.  We told them we did not need a window table.  Nope, this is the table the Maitre d’ selected for us.  I guess we failed the beautiful people test.  Then the party really got going.  The wine sommelier and the water guy placed their silver buckets right behind Eddie’s chair…then proceeded to cram or withdraw the bottles of wine, sparkling wine, sparkling water and regular bottled water with gusto, regularly.  Behind my chair was a wooden wall partition hiding the white wine fridge.  It was obscured from my view, but it a was heavily trafficked area, for sure…wham!  The trifecta was when the serving station and silverware drawer that was 3 feet from my shoulder became busy.  If we had order a bottle of wine, I could blown across  mouth of the bottle, while Eddie played pasta spoons..it was quite the band with the noise in this not a window table.    Not really the ambience of a candle lite dinner for two.  We did not complain about the food…but both left tremendous amounts on our plate…except for the flatbread Blanco pizza…it was pretty good.  An observant waiter should have asked.  Nope. I just couldn’t help myself. Did not go Covid K, but suggested that they not place diners at that table.  Bottom line….don’t put baby in the corner.    I was as nice as I could be.  He asked if we complained to our waiter….We said no, and I subtly added that was his job to make those determinations as the restaurant was less than 1/3 full and there were other two top options clearly available and not reserved…yeah, that was slightly mean, but don’t throw your waiter under the bus to save yourself.    We both dropped our heads, all hang dog and headed to elevator.  He gave chase, but the elevator arrived promptly.  Message received.  

With all the days at sea, fall back clocks, getting up with my cicada rhythms, my bedtime is totally mess up.  Eddie, no problem he can sleep in  any time zone, no problem.  We turned in a little before 9:00.  I know, party animals.  I had just dropped off into a deep sleep and the cabin phone rings. I pick up the phone.  In a heavily accented voice, not Ukrainian like our Butler who goes off duty at 9:00 and knows we are not to be disturbed after 9:00…but maybe Indian.  Explaining I need to hurry up and come to the door so he could delivery a cake to us.  I said I did not order a cake, and he had woken us up.   He said it was complementary.  Like 5 times, and to hurry up and come to door, now.  I told him I did not want nor need a cake, complementary or not.  Bottom line, no cake, and I never got back to sleep.  So, today I will go to Nora and try to find out who sent us a cake…at night.  Eddie and I figure it is Tuscan playing the Cake and make up Card.  Stay tuned for the solution to this mystery.  

Zombie Apocalypse at Sea

 Well, after more than just a few Sea Days, rough seas and a Navigational Computer driven ship (read a s-l-o-w pace to our last port in the Bahamas after blowing off Bermuda) not only has the sniffles, sneezing, cough, could be Covid (don’t ask don’t tell policy in full force an effect) spread like wild fire but the curse of the Zombie Deck has spread all the way to the top of the ship.  The blank expressions in the eyes, crazy hair,coughing, sneezing,  just aimlessly wandering around the ship..looking for food or liquor,  I guess. We have had rainy days, high winds and closed outdoor decks and pool areas for our safety.  So, the inside venues are full. It is enough to turn anyone into a Zombie.   With pitchy seas, some have taken to not showering…fear of being an ambulance statistic when when dock, I guess.  And for a bonus, this late in the cruise, rewearing of dirty clothes due to the high cost of laundry on board.  Crowded elevators are extra special.  I have gone to taking the stairs…zombies or sick, zombies do not climb stairs.  Eddie will wave a crowded elevator off…fear of getting sick or becoming a zombie.  I have deployed my Emergence C powder protocol. Eddie has deployed his margarita protocol…his well tipped bartender  uses fresh limes that she has hoarded/hidden for him to make a scratch drinks.  Both are high in Vitamin C, and Eddie swears by Reposado tequila for it healing/combative properties.  I am sure he will switch to Bourbon should he need something for a cough….Rock and Rye.  My grandmother would place rock candy in a pint of rye and allow it to dissolve.  One jigger for a cough or cold. Yeah, Eddie uses Old remedies, all about natural medicine, these days.  Just ask RFK, Jr.  The boy can rationalize any behavior.  

Yesterday…which was Wednesday (just trying to keep things straight in my mind, don’t want to become one of “them”)…the Buffet on 10 lunch was a British themed affair.  Other than the Suite Restaurant, it is the only game in town.  Lunch begins at 12:00 and ends at 1:30.  Fish and chips, beef Wellington, meat pies, Victoria Sponge Cake, mushy peas…yeah, we will head up and do that at 12:15.    Well, our ship’s speed and the pitchy seas made for interesting people watching. I sure there was a physics explanation but that far up on the ship, speed (almost a full stop), direction and swells made the ship sway side to side more than just a little.  Unlike like avoiding showers due to safety issues, everybody  came…the zombies, the sick, the mobility challenged.  There is a ship crew policy during high seas  (or just about any other time) of “Let it fall”.  That means if you (the crew members) are carrying a tray of food, dirty dishes, sharp knife,  even towels and you lose start to lose control, just let if happen.  They are so lean in number of crew members, they can not afford to lose someone that attempted save a tray.  We have heard lots of crashes in the last few days, I think that policy extends to passengers.  We know crew members gossip, compare notes, discuss passengers…figure there is a betting pool on which passengers will fall?  Most likely, today was a banner day for the betting pool.  

Another side issue with skipped or substituted port days is the Entertainers, speakers are kinda stuck on board.  Most likely causing a ripple effect through the ships in the Atlantic right now.  The Entertainers step off one ship and will board another repeating the cycle until their contract is complete.  We have had some great entertainment.  Our cruise director likes piano players…classical concert, pop, show tunes…we have seen the grand piano most nights/afternoons.  When they get stuck on board and we do not pick up fresh blood, the holdover entertainers get pressed (and paid) into additional shows.  We are down to sing along…and karaoke.  So glad the juggling act and magician got to get off the ship. 

Well, to close, we did not see the Northern lights (too cloudy, but our location and my app said it was highly possible).  That is on Eddie’s bucket list…like our port stops…a near check off. Trump signed the Bill last night to reopen the government.  So, no road trip with the Dillards.  Hopefully,  our flight home will be as scheduled.  We have our fingers crossed that we will make our stop in the Bahamas tomorrow.  A fellow passenger, Steve, a retired Air Force guy from DC that has access due to both his security clearances and friendship circles, a double Zenith cruiser-almost lives on ships and the Manager of Sushi on 5 where we ate last night, said there is a distinct possibility that we won’t make the stop in Nassau. There are two weather events that are threatening to collide…on Friday or Saturday….which might make Nassau another Day at Sea.  Is there a zombie movie that uses Mutiny on the Bounty as a plot?  

Ding, Dong, Ditch

 About the time we were getting ready for dinner,  our Captain came on the in cabin speaker.  It was not the 7 short blast and 1 long one, so we are not in any danger, but since this is only the second time since we departed, we paid attention.   So, the cold front that pushed its way south has somehow ended up in the Western Atlantic and the forecast caused our Bermudan port on Tuesday, November 11th to be cancelled. Surprise, you win yet another day at sea!  99% chance of strong storms and 55 mph winds….again.  Didn’t we just do this on the other side of the Atlantic?  He blamed it on the RCCL Chief Meteorologist and Corporate Safety Officers.  Global warming or just bad luck?  As we are traveling diagonal south, I doubt we will see the same rough seas. Good thing, they have used all the green apples. I do feel sorry for those folks that are first time cruisers….this has been an interesting cruise. 

We ditched Ed-2 and Betsy last night (advanced notice required) and had dinner with Robert and Nancy Dillard last night.  For those of you who know the Dillards, you can just skip this part.  For those of you that don’t, Robert and Nancy have been part of the Kingwood scene since we arrived in 1985.  While our children are not the same ages (Greg just turned 50), our sports were not the same, we have been part of their orbit off and on since 1985.  For those of you that are making your outfit selection for the annual MAC luncheon (Mothers Against Cancer), you can thank Nancy and her wingman, Maggie for that.  Nancy and Robert are those kind of friends that we  don’t see often, but are like a comfortable pair of shoes…no break in period.  First night of the cruise we bumped into them…rather Eddie did in the men’s bathroom…over the urinal…would have loved to been a fly on that wall.  Total different mental picture than when women bump into each other in the bathroom.   They agreed we would get together and have dinner.  They were some of the 300 b2b folks.  They are on Deck 8 and eat in the Main Dining Room at 7:00.  Hmmm.  We eat in Luminae at 6:00 with Ed-2 and Betsy.  Before cruising Eddie decided we would buy a speciality dining package of 3 meals, and pay top dollar for a traditional 12 course Omakase Japanese dinner.  Eddie and Celebrity app is kinda like him and Amazon…no discussion or explanation, just point and click…and it arrives in my inbox box to put on my cruise calendar.    Amazon has formed the missing delivery truck formation in honor of Eddie on Veteran Day…thanking him for his Military Service and his continued support of the Amazon Platform…As we are moving towards the end of the cruise and we still had our three specialty nights, we decided to invite the Dillards to join us at Tuscan-the ship’s Italian steak house…and use four of the six pack.    The other option was La Petit Chef which I call Go, Go Gadget dining.  It is interactive as the chef is a cartoon from a ceiling mounted projector that wheels around your table during the meal.  Eddie is not a fan…insert eye roll.   I am hoping the 9 kids on board got to go…including the two boys with the soccer ball.  (Glad they are not next to or above us…we have ridden the elevator with them…we are good on soccer ball and boy encounters…). 

Since Eddie’s first Dillard sighting, we have tried to coordinate a dinner.  Day two, I composed a letter (on my spiral bound notebook paper) with cell numbers, cabin number and a couple ideas.    There use to be suite letter writing material and envelopes.  The paper had our name and Suite number…necessary, no, powder puffery, yes.    Nope, gone.   I took my folded letter with Robert and Nancy Dillard printed clearly on the paper in Black Sharpie to Guest Services.  They/she assured me it would be delivered within the hour.  Two days later, cricket, cricket.   Nothing from N & R.  Well, we have been in ports.  I then picked up the phone and asked Guest Services to ring their cabin.  Nope, if I did not have a cabin number, not happening.  I guess there are stalkers even on ships-late nights, liquor packages and lots of at sea days…and they say getting around medical privacy is hard.  Finally, I decided to go to the Suite Host…Toni with and “i”, male, not Nora, the manager.  I asked what I could do to get a message to N & R since it was obvious my note was delivered to the circular file (trash can).  I explained we had known them for 40 years and had been at their house for a function a week or two before they left on the first leg of the cruise…even had pictures.    Toni said it was against Corporate policy.  Like any good corporate guy, money help those rules be a little less inflexible.  I finally had a Cabin number, which I won’t share…privacy issues and all.  Well, the Dillards’ Cabin phone does not go to message after four rings.  I am sure the adjacent cabins loved my constant calling…kinda like the soccer ball boys.    Not sure where they were (Nancy said playing couples canasta, Robert gave us an eye roll) but they were never in their cabin.  I used a sheet of paper from the note pad (downgrade)  and went up and put it on their door with our Cabin number and information.  Two more days…cricket, cricket.  I left mid morning to attend a Beyond the Podium lecture, told Ed to listen for the phone while I was gone.  He went outside on the balcony.  Guess when Nancy called?  The message had her current cell phone number-I was texting her old number and the fact they had just discovered my small note on the door…two days later…Nancy and I spent the next 24 hours trying to text each other…even with the much touted Celebrity app, we could not connect..which is so strange.  We are both Apple products..I get text from people on land, but one deck up, not happening.  So, I again, I took pen and paper and wrote them a note.  This time on the way to the morning program, I detoured and found their room steward.  She unlocked the Dillard’s cabin (Mr. Robert)  and placed our invitation, time and date, location and where to go early for cocktails.  Typically, as we added the Dillards and their cabin number to our Tuscan Reservation via our Butler, they should have gotten a card on their door from Tuscan 24 hours out.  N&R said they did not get that.  I went up to Tuscan at lunchtime to determine the problem so I would not go Covid Karen when we arrived.    After Betsy’s meeting, I am sure there is a guilty by association comment on our guest account.    Well, our table for 4 was in the computer, but the Dillard’s cabin number was incorrectly entered, so they sent the card to another cabin.  Corrections made.  Nancy and I finally connected on the shipboard phone line, no smoke signals were used….I had paper and a lighter and not afraid to use them.  I was kinda at my wits end.    At the assigned time, we met for cocktails then had dinner in Tuscan. Menu has changed…no Veal Chop (my fav) and no Osso Bucco (Ed’s fav). Was the waiter extra good to us, yes.  Did the chef come out after our meal to make sure everything was satisfactory, you betcha.  Was it, nope, Eddie’s fish was super dry…did we say anything…are you nuts?   We all over ate and enjoyed each other’s company…and a good laugh over communication difficulties.  Robert and I strategized over Plan B-SUV rental in Tampa and driving back should we receive greeting from the CEO of United…we are on the same flight…and cellphones will work in Tampa.  Oh yeah, Eddie decided to go green…arugula salad and steamed spinach…really? Robert and Nancy know you, who are you trying to impress?  The cherry on top was when Robert and Eddie decided to get into a roasted garlic pod eating contest.  Boys, Men, they are all the same.   Do the math, (g)reens + (g)arlic =dark and stormy night for Eddie.  I know how Ed will spend our Bermudan substituted day at sea.  

Land Ho!

 Our ship has finally moved past the “There she blows!” (clean up Deck 4) to “Land ho!” Almost.  The sure sign that we had reached calmer water was the bowls of apples disappeared and the apple infused products appeared on the buffet line on Deck 10.  Apple roasted pork loin, apple Kruger bread,  apple turnovers, apple topping for your ice cream.  Yeah, the kitchens on Deck 10 is where fruits goes to die. No brown spotted bananas.    Banana bread, anyone.  We are steaming our way to the Island of Bermuda.  Our clocks took a break last night and we did not fall back an hour.  I know we have to fall back 1 more time before we reach Tampa, not sure what that game plan is, but even Eddie has become an early riser.  The Adventure bar drops considerably after this many days at sea.  Today, 400 people showed up for the Egg Drop from deck 5 to 3.  The rails were full of cheering folks.  There were few divisions..children (there are 9 on board, bless their hearts), engineers, and regulars.  You have to devise a structure to protect the egg from things available and preferably recyclable on board ship.  We all have had way to much time on our hands.  You know it is challenging when you get a notice that the Suite Manager, Nora, is holding crochet lessons in the Retreat Lounge for Suite guests.    I should have sent Eddie down, as he excels in fabric arts.  But is was during his nap time.  

As we have little to keep ourselves busy, Eddie has gone to his “I don’t understand” mode of why things have changed so much since we last cruises Celebrity. (2022, but he complained then, too)  I think the term is unmet expectations…you wait two years for something and keep building up the dream sequence…there is no way dream will meet reality.    Happens  a lot theses days.  Enter our cruising friends from Portland…Ed-2 and Betsy.  We met them on a cruise in 2016.  There were actually 3 Ed’s on that trip.  A bit of serendipity, Ed-3 and his wife, JoAnne, are on this same trip.  Creepy..just a little.  Ed-2 is a little hard to like at first. Grumpy by nature but actually has a heart of gold.  He and Betsy have supported many young families and students dreams over the years, as they have no children of their own.  All they ask is a phone call, card, text or email to say they are being thought of or that someone out there cares. They overtip onboard like crazy (with $2 bills so they will-be remembered)…but it makes them more lovable to us. That is the plus.  The minus is they will also complain like it was an Olympic sport. They are always on the medal stand.    So,  after 13 days together (remember we were in Rome before the cruise) football games both college and pro are mostly done, the mutual anxiety about the TSA, ATC and United’s mandated cut backs, Congress-What is left? Let’s trash the food, overworked employees, cut backs in services…the list is endless. My mom had a frequently used comment, “well, it is just not as good as it use to be”. Right, Kathy?     Eddie has been on a general lack of powder puffing  soapbox since we endured the embarkation process.  Misery does love company. Eddie and Ed-2 are like two pigs in mud…wallow, wallow.  

Let’s start with the food quality.  Whether it is sourcing, cost cutting measures, staffing or whatever. Sauces on food should not have to be cut…cut with a knife..because they sat in a  big banquet warming box too long…cornstarch thickening tends to do that.  Fish should be flaky not jerky texture or mush.    In an effort to cut waste and make the operation more time efficient, they are depending on a lot of things that live in a banquet serving box far longer than need be…or are preloaded.    Best example is the Coffee Shop on Five-Cafe Al Bacio.  It has always has been the place for a pastry/sugar/calorie ladened treats and Starbuck coffee style coffee selections-to go or to sit and savor.  Always hopping. Upcharge for a few, but a very few….unlike the upcharge Gelato stand on the other side of Deck 5, Midship.  Cricket, cricket. Poor use of space in my opinion.    Previously, it was made one cup at the time, fresh ground beans,  fresh espresso trickles from the machine, add hot steaming milk…boom, magic in the morning. I know because I am the designed coffee bitch.  25 years of cruising, I bring cappuccinos to Eddie in bed. I understand my job description.  Yes, we have a butler that is glad to bring it to us, at a designated time.  Please place hanger on door before 2:00 AM, but Eddie’s wake up time is random.  Back to my AM observations.      Now the espresso is preloaded 10 cups at a time.  There are three baristas, one on espresso machine, one on steam milk-almond, oat, skim, whole, and one on taking orders, getting your sea pass card and handling squirts of sugar free or regular flavorings.    Efficient yes, does it taste the same, yes, but it lacks the powderpuff flourish.  Glad Eddie does not get coffee…. So, fast forward to cocktail hour with our travel buddies.  Ed-2 and Eddie were discussing the food quality in the various locations around the ship, to include all the restaurants we have access to.  Betsy is a doer…a fixer…so, she sprang into action.  She requested a meeting with the suite manager and the head of food service.  Eddie and I warned her, “don’t go there”.  We told her that she/they/us (see, I can do pronouns with the best of them) would be hot boxed by various staff members during meal time.  Our poor regular waiter, Gabriel, with too big glasses that slide down his nose will be blamed.    Told her to hold her comments until the email survey that occurs after the fact.  We have been there done that.  We simply do the don’t eat it, stir it around the plate move if it does not meet our expectations…then order dessert.  Nope, nope, nope.  Betsy was determined to get to the bottom of it.  Dog vs bone kinda of thing….and she is a bulldog.  Well, post meeting has food improved or change.  Nope.  Has our table been hot boxed daily by an assortment of people. Absolutely.  Has Gabriel been a nervous wreck?  Yup.  We did get to meet the Head Chef who showed up awkwardly at our table one evening.    I have shoes and underwear older than he is.  A little young guy from India.  Explains a lot of the food on the Buffet service line…which is one of the only places you can get lunch  on at sea days.  See, efficiency meets bottom line.  Doing more with less….no waste.

On that note, for sh*ts and giggles I used my free Wi-Fi in the early morning hours to look for information on the cruise lines.  Most financially successful in 2025…the folks at Carnival (and all the brands that sail under them).  They are the sharks in the water for sure, they pick up assets from failing companies….P&O Australia, comes to mind. They are also vertically ingrates…for example, they own the various hotels and trains in Alaska and get first choice on the Glacier lottery.., private islands in the Caribbean.    The most leveraged and most vulnerable is NCL (and all of  their brands). Queue the Jaws music.  Pity, we like them…as we tend to sleep around.  Ed-3 and JoAnne are big Regent cruisers (NCL brand)…a Quick Look at Regent Seven Seas online brochure says Ed-3 and JoAnne are not going to leave any money to their kids.  Pricey.  Another factoid is precovid there were about 300 ships in the Ocean, Lake or  River Water, now there are 370 in service.  Celebrity is under the Royal Caribbean umbrella of brands.  It is middle of pack.  Not bad returns or financials (Full disclosure, like on any of the business shows on TV, we own stock in RCCL-just enough to get a discount (IF you can get around the exclusions) and receive the annual report.)  During Covid lots of ships’ staff were not well cared for, and found other employment on dry land.  RCCL paid their employees during Covid, and flies them back and forth to home between contracts.  Some have been with the company for 25-30 years.  You take care of me, I take care of you kind of loyalty.   The competition for quality employees is stiff.  They all  now pay better, especially if you have experience and don’t turn green in rough seas. So, efficiency experts on how to do more with less, for sure.  It is survival.   Even when you pay more, powder puffing was one of the first things to go.  Eddie and Ed-2 may never get over that.  Next up, Dinner with the Dillards and a pivot from the Bermuda stop.  Breaking news….  So, another day at sea.  Will there be a human or spousal dropping from the top decks as an afternoon Passenger challenge?   Perhaps.  

What Day is This?

 This is Day 9 of our 16 day crossing.  This is day 5 of straight At Sea Days.  The focus here is people not ports.  The last couple of days have been super special.  We have had deep swells so the motion of the ocean has made for interesting people watching. Today, we get white caps and swells.     Since we are turning our clocks back an hour a night, people tend to be up earlier and go to bed earlier.  The morning speakers get full houses and the afternoon repeat performances of the evening entertainment requires early arrive times.  Please no saving places.  Pools are open but with all the water sloshing out, it is all about location of your chaise lounge chair…choose wrong and you get wet.  It is fun to watch the people who think they have gotten a prime location. Classic rookie crossing error,      Sooo glad our suite is not under the pool…empty chaises tend to move at night.  Been here, done that, lesson learned.  

Unlike the rip tide or hurricane flags on a beach, you can tell when the forecast is for rough seas.  The big bowls of green apples and saltine cracker packs start appearing around the ship.  We use to see airline barf bags clipped to staircases and the Purcell stations around the ship.  I guess budget cut backs or recycling mandates have made that so pre Covid.  Not sure how recycled barf bags work.  Now, there are the people assigned to clean up, then continuously spray deodorant on the carpet when the inevitable happens.  I have nicknamed (because you know that is what I do) them Barf Bunnies.  What a resume builder.  I can see it now.  Expert in the rapid containment, neutralization, and restoration of textile-based disaster zones aboard luxury maritime environments. Demonstrated ability to remain calm under pressure (and odor). Skilled in discreet crisis management to ensure passenger satisfaction and seamless cruise continuity. (Yeah, I cheated and used Chat GPT for that one)

If we had been experiencing an outbreak of a Respiratory virus, which can include Covid…the rapid deployment of the squirt bottle Bleach team,  We all love and remember that one-land, sea or air.  Yes, Clorox does kill 99.9% of the germs on surfaces.  But it makes things such as elevator buttons and table top a tad sticky, particularly after repeat usage.  The resume for that crew member  would look more like— Frontline hygiene operative specializing in microbial annihilation and viral eviction. Recognized for precision, stamina, and unwavering commitment to wiping out germs (and dignity) one disinfectant-soaked rag at a time.

Back to attending the Beyond the Podium series.  The speaker the first half of the cruise has been a humorous but knowledgeable Science guy.  He has spoken on everything from sea-life to the Hubble and Webb Telescopes and even thrown in Cat vs Dog owners.  He is a cat guy.  He is also kind of a Octopus geek.  He knows the pitfalls of being too dry or reading from a power point, he injects subtle humor.  He packs the house at 10:15 every at sea day he speaks.  I usually (note did not use the we pronoun, Eddie never comes) arrive late and leave early.  Cruise ship 101.  When the theatre lets out, elevators and walkways become very crowded.  I have learned that I sit on the aisle seat toward the back.  I do not want to raise our hand and be picked to be on stage.    If the ship has doors to the outside of the ship, I take them.  Eddie follows these rules when there is something he wants to see.  Then I become the “we” pronoun.  That can be a fun moment too.  Just like car driver Eddie, theatre Eddie gets aggressive/frustrated/ when in heavy traffic or in slow moving people crowds…so we have developed strategies when on a cruise ship. Yesterday, despite the heavy seas and our location in the pointy end of the ship, the theatre was full by 10:05.  The hour a day roll back ensures everybody is up early.  I found my spot along the very back bar stool area.  There was another woman there and I asked if the seat was saved.  She paused and replied, no, but did I have a cough, fever, chills or diarrhea.  Well, that was a first.  I responded that I did not.  I moved my seat a little farther from her.  Whatever she has, I was sure I did not want to catch it.  Is crazy contagious?  Not sure what kind of warning flag is associated with crazy.  Not taking any chances, Eddie is Team Pickle’s designated crazy person.  

Gig ‘Em, Hoddy Toddy, Roll Tide, and Happy Hoosiers…shipboard TV had some of our favorite games.  Odd timing for sure, but glad Elon’s Starlink and YouTube are in their own lanes and we can see most of the games.  

Plan B at Sea

 Good Morning from somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean.  We have left the calm waters of the Mediterranean for the rough and tumble Atlantic Ocean.  We have crossed in Spring and Fall, Fall tends to be warmer.  As we sail back to the US, our clock fall back an hour almost every night.  So, it is currently 4:15 in the morning.  I think I managed to stay up until 9:00 new time last night.  Cicada rhythms at sea are interesting.  I wander the ghost ship and see where I can find coffee.  I have seen the full moon retreat and sunrises almost every day.  Good Plan B for me.   There are crew members going about their normal jobs, and a few hardy passengers.  None from the Zombie Decks (2 & 3).  They party late, get up late,..these people paid more for their liquor + Wi-Fi packages than they did for their cabins with the little round port hole.  Ahh, the bliss of being young and bulletproof.  No, Plan B for them, not necessary.

Our last scheduled stop in Europe was in the Azores.  If you look at a world map, there are several clusters  islands just off the coasts of Portugal and upper Africa.  Azores, Madeira, Canary.  They all are Portuguese.  They are beautiful islands, with unique topography, vegetation and things to do.  A couple of days ago, the Captain announced that they were going to Plan B.  Our day in the Azores had been replaced by a day in Madeira.  Why?  The last winds and rain from Hurricane Melissa were promising 45-50 mph winds and rain in the Azores.  Pivot.  I guess there has been enough posting of Instagram reels, Tik Tok, FB videos showing the carnage of cruise ship meets high winds.  Not good look for a cruise company’s bottom line.    So, Plan B it is.  24 hours out, the shore excursion and internet searches were sure hopping.  We have been here a couple of times before.  First trip we rode the wicker sleighs down the side of a mountain.  If that sounds dangerous, it was.  Not sure what we were thinking…I noted either because this was Plan B and two other ships (Plan A for NCL and Silversea)  were in port or the ambulance count (currently at 7 total, for those keeping score), there was not ship board excursion featuring the sleighs ride.  To keep the natives happy, the Ship chose not to charge us 10 euros each way, each to go into town.  

Most of our friends and family know that I have problems with mattresses.  Just call me Goldilocks.  Ed can sleep on almost any surface.  I need soft but good support.  The mattresses on board have always given me fits.  I know to ask before the cruise (yes, in a suite that is allowed) to have an egg crate topper put on my side of the bed.  Eddie’s requirement is for the duvet to be be replaced by a blanket.  Well, Eddie had egg crate envy, as the bed seemed to be broken down so that you rolled to the left (in Eddie’s case off the bed).  On our stop in Malaga, there were several semi truck loads of new mattresses being delivered.  New mattresses for the regular cabins, no Cashmere bedding would be replaced.  So, I ordered him an egg crate.  Fast forward, the seas have have become a little rougher than inside the Mediterranean. Eddie had to brace himself…shades of “X” sleeping from Oceania.  So, as I became the mattress ninja, I rotated the mattress so the bottom was now at top.  These are mattresses that are both box springs and sleeping surface in one, so a simple flip would have been Eddie meets springs.  The only problem is these specially designed mattresses have a curve to fit the foot of the bed.  That curve is now at the top inside. And yes, Eddie was right, the mattress headboard visual showed a huge slope to the center of the bed.    I stuffed one of the 9 worthless additional decorative pillows in the hole, and one under-the mattress replaced the egg crate and Voila, Plan B for the win.  I did have to leave a note for our room steward so she would not undo my handy work.  Our traveling companions have a 1/4 inch plywood piece placed under their mattress.  Did not even know that was an option.  So, there is a Plan Bb if this does not work.

On to our biggest possible Plan B, and the return of my anxiety monster.  When we first started to cruise (1999), it was the only time Eddie could not be reached by a phone.  Satellite TV was about as reliable as the power in Kingwood in a high wind.  It was a total disconnect from the world around you.  25 years of advancements has made us addicted to our phones,news feeds, Social media platforms.  We are connected to everything to include the TSA ATC mess at our nation’s airports.  I have received the Greeting from United’s CEO letter advance warning us that today (Friday) will be first the reduction of flights to meet the 10% reduction goal set be the FAA.  They are hopeful that the problem will be solved by the 13th and they can resume normal operations. Okay, Airlines, if you are losing as much money as you say, perhaps a Plan B for you would be to offer the TSA and ATC a bridge loan, interest free, in lieu of their paychecks.  You might earn some loyalty from those folks, avert the drama and rerouting, and you would look like heroes on social media and news to the flying public. Net, net same amount of money…one makes people mad, they other makes folks happy.  You pick.  On to my Plan B.  Eddie is not worried.  Here again, a failure to plan is a plan for failure.  Today we have a 4% chance of getting cancelled.  We have both Tampa and IAH on our flight home bingo cards…they are 2 of the 40 airports effected.  What is my Plan B?  Well, I have determined where the closest Budget Rental car to the port is.  I have both my United app and Budget Car app up and ready  I figure it will take 2-3 days to drive home.  Now for the best part of Plan B.  We rent a SUV and ask Robert and Nancy Dillard (most of you know them) to share the ride.  We stumbled into them in our first night aboard.  They B2B cruisers, regular cabins not suite folks.  A tad awkward since we have our Portland cruising peeps.  They do not share well.  We quickly figured out a Plan B and met them during the day and have a dinner in a Specialty restaurant planned.  So, stay tuned for updates. 

Finally, an update on our credit card being never lost or stolen, but cloned to a digital wallet.  .  There are now (a week later) stories about the newest scam.  It is called “ghost tapping”.  Banks are reporting a high number of these incidents…complete with low value test charges.  They are not even sure how it is happening, but it is.  Typically in crowded situations.  I love when we are on trend and ahead of the curve.  Until I write again, my monster and I are checking our phones frequently for updates.